[Fic] For Always - 20/24
Apr. 20th, 2009 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coley_merrinTitle: For Always
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun and Siwon/Hankyung (with possible additions)
Genre: AU. Drama/Romance/Angst/Fluff/The kitchen sink
Summary: The bookstore called "Soulmate" has been the most important thing in Kyuhyun's life. With it, he has built a fortress of brick and page around himself, one that can only be brought down from the inside -- both with love and with danger.
Hankyung has built a life of meaning, but finds no substance in it and lives in dreams. Dreams that, when they materialize, make him question his ability to reach and hold on when he wants nothing less.
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three ** Chapter Four ** Chapter Five ** Chapter Six ** Chapter Seven ** Chapter Eight ** Chapter Nine ** Chapter Ten **
Chapter Eleven ** Chapter Twelve ** Chapter Thirteen ** Chapter Fourteen ** Chapter Fifteen ** Chapter Sixteen ** Chapter Seventeen ** Chapter Eighteen ** Chapter Nineteen ** Chapter Twenty ** Chapter Twenty One
***
Chapter Twenty
***
There were moments with a baby in the house that he had not been expecting, and a lot more moments of amazement.
His mother had started answering the phone with “What do you need to know, honey?” instead of “Hello.”
Of course she was thrilled, and quite nearly as proud as if he had given birth himself. She joked that way with Siwon, finally stopping when his eyes narrowed and he threatened to abscond with the baby carrier.
Of course that it made her happy thrilled him. And Siwon of course, smiled in a permanent high when the baby was on display. If he were any prouder he would pop. Yunjee was still a bit ambivalent about the new arrival... He had no doubt she loved the baby, and she tended to orbit him, watching what he did at all hours. Still, Yunjoong wasn’t quite as interactive as Nala had been.
Nala, to all their amusement, was no lion princess when it came to the baby. She skirted quickly away when he cried and stared from long distances when going for water or food. They were wary of each other now, and Yunjee played advisee, lecturing her on good baby-related behavior. Very gentle, not too loud. It made him grin.
The morning of the third day, with Siwon set to spend the morning at work before coming home so that Hankyung could go to teach, they stared at each other with bleary eyes. Two days was so not enough time to be left alone with a baby without help. Even Yunjee would be at school. They had not showered or eaten that morning, choosing instead to find an oasis in each other. Clinging to each other after, until the baby began to coo, and Yunjee knocked on their door.
But their first morning alone had gone well. Yunjoong snoozed as he went through his morning routine, stretching muscles and working himself past a light sweat. He had barely finished when Siwon called, the vibration of the phone making his heart leap before he figured out what it was.
Yes, the baby was okay. He was okay. All was good.
When Siwon came in, Yunjoong had been fed and changed, and they had even sneaked in a little nap after Siwon’s call. The baby in his little bassinet and he face down on the couch.
Yunjoong was cooing, awake, in his arms when Siwon leaned in to kiss him.
“Hey,” Siwon said, kissing him again. “And hi, son.”
They watched as the baby attempted to get an accidentally placed fist past his lips.
“Look at his tongue! So small!”
“He has one?” Siwon asked, putting his head closer.
“Don’t laugh! I’ve never been around babies before. I just... I don’t know what to make of him. So perfect and... Small.”
“I didn’t have much to do with Yunjee when she was a baby... When I saw them she was shoved into my arms and was tiny and wiggly. She wiggled, and she cried, and I handed her back, and that’s really all I remember.”
They sat together as Siwon ate, until he had to leave for classes. And knew the child was in good hands. Loving, trusted hands.
Siwon had learned some rudimentary cooking skills purely out of self defense in feeding a child. He made a good assistant and learned quickly. But Siwon did excel at cleaning. Which was not something that made Hankyung’s heart go pitty-pat.
They took turns getting up at night, now, now that they weren’t so deathly afraid of every movement. Diapers were not a mystery. Clothes went on like any others. Clean and warm and fed, he had become no less amazing to them.
They promised each other no one would know about the frantic call to Hankyung’s mother about how they were supposed to bathe him.
No one really needed to know.
***
Henry remembered his girlfriend in high school, the way she had stared after him, nearly held herself apart from him. Had he made her act that way? This was different. Donghae was more apt to squeeze than stand apart, and he wanted closer. He was not “okay” with Donghae holding himself away like he had been with the girl. He kissed Donghae, felt the eager response. They were like...
He remembered thinking Donghae was like glue. No matter how much he had tried to unstick himself, somehow he kept coming back. He had never really thought that boys were his thing. Donghae was his thing. Donghae was definitely his thing.
He had barely gotten in the door between the break from class and work before Donghae had pulled him to the bed. No one could accuse them of not having healthy appetites, he mused.
He kissed below the bandage on Donghae’s forehead.
“Did he hit you?” he asked Donghae, as serious as he possibly could.
“Yes, but... That’s not what caused that. He pushed me, and I fell into a table. So it was kind of his fault, and kind of the table’s fault.”
“And you think that’s okay? Someone hitting you? Pushing you?”
“No.” Donghae played with a lock of Henry’s hair with a frown. “I shouldn’t tell you anything about it. I should just say, oh, it was an accident. But I’m not okay with it. There are things I can’t tell you. But I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want you to worry too much. I’ll be okay, really. And I’m...”
He pulled Henry down, so that his mouth was nearly at Henry’s ear. “I’m doing everything I can, okay? This won’t be the way it is forever. I’m working on it.”
“Is it dangerous?” he asked, nuzzling Donghae’s cheek.
“More than doing nothing, I guess. But not much. I’m handling it. I don’t know if I’d have done it for me, but because of you... I don’t care how long it takes.”
“When did you...”
“The day after you met the bastard,” Donghae said, nearly swallowing the curse in his throat.
“You came to get me that day... You were so happy.”
“Because that was the beginning of the end. That was the start for us. I don’t want you hurt by it, or anyone you know. I really don’t want to see anyone else bleed.”
“You bleeding is too much, Donghae!”
“He hadn’t hit me like that in almost a year. It’s okay. If I don’t defy him again by going away for the weekend like we did, it’ll be okay. But I had to... Had to make him think I wasn’t being too good.”
“So he thinks I’m inspiring you to be bad?”
“No. I told him why we went. Because of my dad. I probably got off easy because of that.”
It was a sick gnawing ache inside him to listen to Donghae detail how he got off easy and hadn’t been hit like that in a year. Like it was normal or okay or expected. Because it wasn’t. It put this worry in Donghae, this shadowed reassurance. He was hearing this story, but the barest hint of it. Donghae trusted him with that much. And yet he felt it had less to do with trust and more to do with protection. He was being protected. And he wasn’t sure what to do about that.
He needed help... Someone to tell him doing nothing was what he was supposed to be doing, that he was worrying too much. Or not worrying enough.
Donghae whispered that they didn’t have much time, and he let himself be earnestly distracted.
***
The only people he felt he could trust with his questions in probably the whole of Korea were at Soulmate. Kyuhyun, who was earnest and seemed to think deep thoughts. And Ryeowook, whose demeanor all but begged to be trusted and confided in. He waited almost the entire shift, waiting for a chance, when there were no customers, no interruptions.
It came, finally, almost an hour before closing. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun stood together, accounting books sitting in front of them as they went over the month together. He hated to interrupt them. In fact, he turned back toward the shelves once before steeling himself and bucking up.
Ryeowook noticed his approach first, nudging Kyuhyun’s arm.
“I...had a question?” he warbled out. “Not about work, I...”
Kyuhyun motioned him onto a stool. “What’s up?”
He chewed on his lip as he considered. “If someone borrows money from someone... And they are threatening. What can you do?”
It was the most generic question he could fathom, besides saying something bizarre, like, oh by the way I think my boyfriend is tangled up with some crime family. How do I help? When Donghae had mentioned his father’s illness, the hospital fees... Remembering the threatening man, and his hold on Donghae... It had been the first thought. Those people thought they owned Donghae because of the debt. Maybe made him do things. Possibly criminal things. And that was not the Donghae he knew.
“Are you in trouble?” Ryeowook asked, immediately concerned.
“No!” he said hastily.
“It’s not you, is it?” Kyuhyun asked, frowning. “Is it Donghae?”
His eyes widened. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, okay, he just...” He frowned. “I don’t know. I just didn’t know if there was something I could do. The police would just laugh at me. And I wouldn’t want to do that without talking to him. I just don’t know anything.”
Kyuhyun thought on that for a moment, and looked at Ryeowook. “What do you think?”
“Write down everything you know. Names or places or dates... Take notes of anything suspicious, even if it seems trivial. If there’s something you can take pictures of without being in trouble, do it. Maybe it doesn’t make any sense or help you out today, but maybe it will some day.”
They both stared at Ryeowook who stared back. “What? I watch crime dramas!”
“Are you in any danger?” Kyuhyun asked, frowning a bit.
“No... No. He says neither of us are, and I believe him. It’s just hard. I didn’t mean to make either of you worry...”
He felt horrible bringing it up, with all that had happened at the store and all the worry Kyuhyun had been through.
“No!” Kyuhyun said, shaking his head and grinning a bit wryly. “You wanted advice... I don’t know how much help we were, but Ryeowook has good ideas. Just find out what you can, just in case. You can come to us any time. Really any time, even after hours. If you need anything.”
“Thanks,” he said, and meant the smile.
“I’ll come help you finish,” Ryeowook told him, and came around to take his arm and lead him back into the stacks.
He was sent home with muffins and hugs and ideas, but sadly... No answers.
***
When he walked in the door of Zhou Mi’s apartment, it was beginning to look a little like his place as well. They had finally moved in the kitchen table and chairs, and an armchair as well. His coat rack was beside the door, and his non-computer game systems stacked in the corner. There was a small cactus, a birthday gift from Ryeowook one year and the only thing he had successfully managed to keep alive.
He had brought a box, singular, of books... And it sat in front of Zhou Mi’s shelves. Even if he had drawers for his clothes and space in Zhou Mi’s closet for things that were hung up, bookshelf space was something that they had not quite figured out.
The weirdest thing, though, had been when they had put his sheets on Zhou Mi’s bed. It was like their apartments had mated.
Even if they were were still working on that.
He started as a man breezed past the store’s register.
“Just going back to see Zhou Mi,” Heechul called.
Visions of the kiss he had witnessed the first time Heechul had come flashed through his mind, and he signaled Henry over.
He edged past Heechul who stood beside the table, sliding onto Zhou Mi’s legs and reaching up to curl a hand around the back of his neck. It was the tiniest bit possessive, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. It wasn’t anything that wasn’t true.
Heechul tutted as Zhou Mi’s arm came around him. “Well, well. Look at the sly kitten guarding his territory. You finally succeeded… Did you get the email about the opening?”
“I did,” Zhou Mi said warily.
“Will you take it?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“But you want to.” Heechul pressed.
“You know I do. I need time, Heechul, and there’s some left. I’ll let you know.”
Heechul sent a skeptical look at Kyuhyun. “He has claws, Seasoning. Don’t let him hold you back. I’ll check back with you tomorrow.”
Kyuhyun felt the cold to the tips of his fingers even before Heechul had left.
“What opening?”
“Were you jealous?” Zhou Mi asked, sounding half amused.
“Don’t play with me Zhou Mi.” He twisted, fixing steady eyes on the man in whose lap he still sat. How was he so steady, when he trembled inside? “What opening?”
“I didn’t want to… I wanted to tell you differently.” There was a pout in Zhou Mi’s voice that made him want to scream. What opening? He was leaving? And had known it for how long? As long as since the opening had been announced. Maybe longer , by the way Heechul had acted. He let his hand slip down off of Zhou Mi’s neck.
Zhou Mi gripped his shoulders, sensing the withdrawal. “No, stop. Listen. It’s an assistant professorship. The kind I’ve been looking for. I’ve turned down several offers, because they didn’t meet my needs. I’ve… I’ve enjoyed being here in the store with you so much. I would have classes several days a week, office hours. It would mean the book would go more slowly, or get put on hold, but I could see you… The university is 15 minutes from here, with traffic… It’s good you’re living with me, so I guess you’ll have to really teach me to get up in the mornings, won’t you? Won’t you, Kui Xian?”
He felt life begin to trickle back through him.
“Say that part first, stupid,” he said, shoving Zhou Mi’s shoulder.
“I didn’t come here to find you, just so I could leave, Kui Xian. Believe in me.”
Believe in him, in Zhou Mi with his bright laugh and clever eyes. He felt safe there, in those arms, surrounded by that voice.
“Did you ever find someone to help you with the Korean version of your book?” he asked, out of the blue.
“No,” Zhou Mi said, sounding confused.
“I’ll help you. We’ll do it together. I think we can do it together.” He felt like laughing, or crying, or shouting. He smiled, feeling a lazy warmth kick up against his heart, the beats seeming to rise with it. It was now or never. And it could not be never. He settled on speaking softly.
“I love you.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes widened, searching Kyuhyun’s as though he was sure he had misspoken. “What?”
“I love you, Zhou Mi. I...”
Kyuhyun watched Zhou Mi’s eyes close, his face tensed with feeling.
“And because you know I’m staying, you can say it.”
“Yes,” he said, thankful Zhou Mi could see through him.
He was cut off by Zhou Mi’s mouth, and then by Zhou Mi’s arms, which were tight enough on him to crack ribs. Suddenly they were standing and his feet weren’t on the floor any more, and he was shouting in alarm while Zhou Mi’s mouth raced on 100 miles an hour in a language he couldn’t understand.
“Hey! Speak Korean! Ugh!” Then he was back on the floor again, and being kissed breathless.
He wanted to find something witty to say, like “Wow, did you just win the lottery, too?” but he was too busy trying not to giggle back at the man currently peppering his face with kisses.
“I love you, Kui Xian.”
“I thought...” he began, his fingers lightly tracing through Zhou Mi’s, “that I ought to tell you before I finished moving.”
“Finished moving,” Zhou Mi said, sounded dazed. “Sometimes, when you looked at me, I could see it so clearly in your eyes... Like it was just leaping to get out of you. That... Really filled me a lot, you know? But hearing you say it is like, all of my birthdays and Christmases and New Years rolled into one.”
“Sorry I forgot to put on a shiny red bow,” Kyuhyun said, finding his sense of humor again.
“That’s okay,” Zhou Mi said, startling Kyuhyun into laughter. “I didn’t miss it.” Zhou Mi squished Kyuhyun’s cheeks between his palms. “I love you, too. I really love you.”
“Say my name,” Kyuhyun ordered.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said obediently.
“No. The other.”
“Kui Xian.”
“Yes,” he said, sighing and closing his eyes. “I thought I couldn’t stand that you called me that at first. But every time you call me that now... You’re the only one who can.”
“I’m glad... Kui Xian... My Kui Xian. You should have known I was staying when you saw my apartment.”
“What?”
“My books. If I hadn’t meant to stay, I’d never have unpacked them.”
Kyuhyun frowned. “You didn’t unpack them when you arrived?”
“A few… But I didn’t know how long I’d be here… I rented month to month. And I met you, and I wondered if I’d ever have a chance with you, so I waited. The day I bought bookcases… was the day you told me that I made you happy. I unpacked all of my books before I brought you to my place that night.”
“That would have made me happy… and scared me speechless.”
“Yes, that’s why I did not run in shouting “I bought bookcases for you, Kui Xian!”” he said, grinning.
“Some people buy rings for the people they love. You buy bookcases.”
“I can buy you one of those, too, if you want.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “Don’t you dare. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me before. That you were looking for a job, even.”
“A lot of the meetings I was at were about networking potential positions in addition to translating. I wanted the right job, not just any other thing that was open, you know? I wanted something I could stay at. I didn’t want to tell you about this one till I was sure I would get it. It felt like I’d be getting your hopes up and letting you down if it fell through. I didn’t want to jinx it either. I just... I don’t know.”
“How sure are you that you might get it now?”
“Pretty sure. Almost positive. There were a few applicants, but I have someone from a different department vouching for me. My chances could be worse.”
“So you have a job.”
“Yeah,” Zhou Mi said softly, petting Kyuhyun’s hair. “You won’t have to support me.”
“Tell me next time... I don’t think my heart can take this again.”
“I will. I’ll tell you everything. I like your heart like it is, Kui Xian. Is it...mine?”
“I don’t think think it’s Valentine’s Day,” he said, smirking. “But sure. Probably.”
“Oh Kui Xian...”
They held each other until Zhou Mi had steadied. He kissed him quickly.
“I have to get back out there.”
“Okay. I love you, Kui Xian.”
It was not a test, he realized, warm with it. Zhou Mi just wanted him to know it.
“Yeah...” he said. “I love you, too.”
***
The day before Zhou Mi was leaving, he relaxed in his reading chair in the back room, reading to himself and listening to Zhou Mi hum as he puttered on his laptop.
“I hate the thought of leaving you here alone when nothing’s been resolved in the store,” Zhou Mi said suddenly.
“And you expect me to pick up and leave it, leaving Ryeowook and Henry to deal with it alone?” he asked, incredulous.
“No, but... I just wish. I want everything to be okay. Not just so you can come with me.”
Zhou Mi turned to him, taking his free hand and looking quite sorrowful.
“Don’t be stupid, Zhou Mi. You’re acting like I’m the one leaving. And I need that hand you know.”
Zhou Mi frowned at the hand he was holding, letting it go slowly. Kyuhyun sighed.
“Stand up. And sit down.” He stood with Zhou Mi, switching their positions until he could shove Zhou Mi down into the chair. He sighed again, positioning himself back on Zhou Mi’s lap. “You’re really loud and obnoxious sometimes, you know? I’m trying to read and I need that hand to turn the pages. Just...hold on to me like this, okay?”
Zhou Mi sighed into his hair, and his concentration was diminished. Suddenly the book didn’t seem quite as interesting any more.
“I’ll miss you,” he said softly, and Zhou Mi’s arms squeezed nearly to the point of pain.
“I’ll miss you, too.”
“And I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“I’ll call you every day,” Zhou Mi swore. “And you have to promise me that you’ll call me if anything happens. Anything, Kui Xian. Even if it’s just a bad feeling at night.”
“Will you come save me?”
Zhou Mi made a sound of distress, and Kyuhyun shook his head, rubbing Zhou Mi’s hands with his own.
“I promise, okay? What would I do if I couldn’t talk to you about something, anyway?” At those words he felt Zhou Mi relax a bit against him, and he rubbed their cheeks together.
“Anything, Kui Xian.”
“Okay. Anything.”
He turned in the circle of Zhou Mi’s arms, heard the book fall but did not care.
“I love you,” he said, feeling much less exposed than he had.
He met Zhou Mi’s eyes with a smile, reassuring him with a kiss.
***
They had said their goodbyes to each other in the privacy of the apartment. Long minutes stretching past their lingering kisses.
Still the tight hug at the airport had been hard, the furtive I love yous, and the promise that Zhou Mi would call him that night.
It took him a long time to go to sleep that night. Not because he was alone away from the apartment over the store, but because he was alone in their bed. There was no Zhou Mi trying to snuggle against him, no lean body to drape over as he relaxed. He gave in and covered one of the pillows with one of Zhou Mi’s unwashed undershirts. When he told Zhou Mi that the next day, he had laughed.
“You should have sent one of yours with me, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi teased.
Ryeowook had taken to hugging him at random points in time during the day. Apparently he looked like his puppy had been kicked. Though he was positive Ryeowook had been shocked when he had hugged back every time, because he had never really been known as a huggy type. Zhou Mi had turned him into a cuddle monster.
They did talk, as Zhou Mi had promised. Every day. He listened as Zhou Mi told him the things he had eaten, the people and places he had seen. How his family sent greetings and regrets that he hadn’t been able to come. And then demanded to hear every minute detail of Kyuhyun’s day.
They whiled away almost half of his trip that way. He reclined back in bed the fourth night, listening to Zhou Mi ramble.
“...and so, at least I haven’t cried again.”
“That’s good,” he said. And then thought about it. “What do you mean, again?”
“Oh. Well, when my parents came to pick me up... They smuggled my grandparents with them as a surprise. Seeing them all after so long... The plane ride was hard, knowing I was leaving you to go to them. Like maybe I shouldn’t have made the trip so long...”
“It was kind of late to worry about that, don’t you think?” he asked, disturbed by the images he was conjuring of Zhou Mi breaking down in tears in the middle of the airport.
“Yeah... And we’ve made it this far, right? Only a few more days until we see each other again.”
Yes, just a few more days...
The tears on Zhou Mi’s arrival made sense. Happy tears, to see the family he loved so much. What disturbed him more was that he could see Zhou Mi’s tears as he left, sadness at leaving, not knowing when he would see them again. The tears were normal. They were Zhou Mi. He didn’t doubt that Zhou Mi would be eager to see him, hold him, touch him. What bothered him, and how could he not have considered this?, was that when Zhou Mi shed those tears as he left China, he would be alone. All alone through the plane ride with only the promise of Kyuhyun meeting him at the airport to cheer him.
But until then, alone.
He left the apartment so quickly that he nearly left behind his keys. And took a moment to realize that he couldn’t get Zhou Mi’s car door open because he was trying to use his keyless entry remote. He veered to his car, and cursed himself the whole drive, darting up the stairs to Hankyung’s door.
“I have to go to China,” he blurted out, as soon as Hankyung had opened the door.
“Is Zhou Mi okay?!” Hankyung asked, stepping forward in concern.
“No... No, he’s fine. We were just talking and... I have to go. He’s there for four more days. Can I even... Is it possible?”
“Of course it is. Come in.”
The house smelled of curry, clearly what had been eaten for dinner that night. Yunjoong was asleep in his little mobile bassinet, and Yunjee, he assumed, was asleep for tomorrow’s school day.
“Where’s Siwon?”
“Out grocery shopping and getting baby wipes. Our schedules are upside down right now. Have a seat at the table,” Hankyung told him. “I have to go get something.”
Hankyung was back within moments, sitting down with a little folder. “You have your passport from the last year of high school, from the trip we didn’t go on?”
Hankyung had decided not to go because Kyuhyun couldn’t, and they had spent the week helping out their mothers instead.
“Of course. It’s still valid. But I need a visa, and...”
“Then tomorrow morning, you go to the consulate. You get a rush service. I’m sure it’ll cost extra, but so it goes. If you’re lucky, it’ll take a day. You can catch the first flight out as soon as the visa is in your hands. And you’ll get to spend two, two and a half days there with him.”
“But there’s paperwork...”
Hankyung grinned. “Really? Here, look at this.”
The folder was opened, and papers laid out. Application for visa to travel in China. All made out in Kyuhyun’s name.
“Siwon helped me fill it out, since he did some traveling there and writes neater. You’ll have to sign it there, I think. And you should check it in case I made any mistakes, but...”
He went silent as Kyuhyun grabbed him into a tight hug. “You knew I needed to go.”
“Yeah,” Hankyung said, hugging him back. “But I couldn’t make you. Neither could Zhou Mi.”
“Thank you, Hankyung. Really. Even with all you have to do, you still remember these things. I’m a terrible friend. I...I love you, you know?”
Hankyung moaned, as Kyuhyun knew he would. “I love you too, Kyu.”
“You’re not supposed to cry, you know.”
“Shut up.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” Kyuhyun said, and grinned as he sat back into his chair, leaving Hankyung to dab at the corners of his eyes. Siwon walked in the front door as they started reviewing the papers again.
Siwon bent to kiss him. “What’s up?”
“Kyuhyun is going to China. And he tried to proposition me.””
“Oh! That’ll make a lot of people happy.”
“Him propositioning me?”
Siwon ruffled his hair, and edged into the kitchen to put away groceries.
“Will you tell Zhou Mi you’re coming?” Hankyung asked.
“I don’t think so. I think I’ll call him from the airport for a ride.”
“He’ll be so happy,” Hankyung said, squeezing his hand.
“Yeah. I can imagine.”
And he would be happy, too. These sheets of paper, the fee for the visa, were all so small when he imagined Zhou Mi’s reaction when he called.
***
When Zhou Mi answered the phone, it sounded like he was a long way away.
“Kui Xian? Hello!”
“Hey...” he said, dodging a family with what seemed like 20 bags. “Um. How far are you away from the airport?”
“Not that far...” There was a pause before Zhou Mi gasped. “Why? Did something happen at the store? Are you okay? Do you need me to come back? Where...”
“No! I... I’m at the airport. In China.”
“In China?!” Zhou Mi’s voice rose nearly a full octave on that word, and before Kyuhyun could raise an affirmative answer, he heard Zhou Mi dissolve into rapid Mandarin, clearly speaking to someone near him, but putting his mouth to the receiver with something that Kyuhyun assumed amounted to “Kui Xian, I can’t believe it!”
Someone had clearly hit Zhou Mi on the back, because he coughed, breathed, and spoke breathlessly into the phone. “I’ll be right there, Kui Xian. Don’t move!”
“Don’t come too fast, you need to be alive when you pick me up,” he warned.
The last thing he heard before Zhou Mi hung up was laughter. What had he gotten himself into?
He sat as ordered until Zhou Mi called again. They played phone tag for a few minutes over where exactly he was. Finally he was able to hang up the phone as Zhou Mi’s head popped up above the crowd.
He had no idea what Zhou Mi was saying as he was bodily picked up, exclamations of delight rather loudly being expelled into his shoulder.
“You’re here!” Zhou Mi said, pulling back far enough so that he could smile into Kyuhyun’s face, clearly holding himself back from kissing him.
“I am... And thanks to you, half of China knows I am, too.”
“Let’s go,” Zhou Mi said, taking his hand and his bag as well. “I want to greet you properly.”
Properly meant finding the nearest darkened corner on the way to the car, and kissing him until they both were panting.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to do that at home,” Zhou Mi said in the general vicinity of his neck.
“Yeah,” he agreed, finding his swimming brain cells. “Not a really good move for meeting the parents. Molesting their son.”
“You can molest me all you want tonight,” Zhou Mi said, chuckling at Kyuhyun’s statements.
“We... They’ll let us sleep together?”
“Of course. They know we do at home.” Which was new information to him... “So, you know. They’ll just expect us to be on good behavior.”
“Well, now I’m disappointed, because you said I could...”
“I didn’t say how good, Kui Xian.”
He smiled, stroking Zhou Mi’s face with his fingers. He had known that he could make Zhou Mi this happy, just by coming with him... No matter what he had to endure at Zhou Mi’s house, this happiness made it worth it. He let his kiss linger on Zhou Mi’s mouth.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Zhou Mi said, totally unnecessarily.
He would tell him all the hoops he had had to jump through to get here. Later. “Me too.”
“We should go, or they’ll think you kidnapped me back to Korea.”
A thought struck him.
“They don’t... Blame me for you not living here, do they?”
“Of course not! I went with the expectation of working before I ever knew you. They’re just really happy I found you. And really excited to meet you!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you any notice, I just...”
Zhou Mi cut him off with a kiss full of longing.
“You’re here! You’re here, I... Kui Xian.”
The waver in Zhou Mi’s voice was making his own eyes damp.
“Stop. You’ll get tired of translating for me. Just think of that.”
“Never,” Zhou Mi mumbled into his shoulder.
“We’ll go back together,” he said, patting the back of Zhou Mi’s head. “And you won’t have to cry all by yourself when you tell your family goodbye.”
A loud sob was expelled into his jacket collar and he was squeezed right to the point of pain.
Anyone who was passing probably though he was comforting someone who had found out there had been some kind of death, he thought with a sigh. But this was why he had come. This was something that he could give.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun and Siwon/Hankyung (with possible additions)
Genre: AU. Drama/Romance/Angst/Fluff/The kitchen sink
Summary: The bookstore called "Soulmate" has been the most important thing in Kyuhyun's life. With it, he has built a fortress of brick and page around himself, one that can only be brought down from the inside -- both with love and with danger.
Hankyung has built a life of meaning, but finds no substance in it and lives in dreams. Dreams that, when they materialize, make him question his ability to reach and hold on when he wants nothing less.
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three ** Chapter Four ** Chapter Five ** Chapter Six ** Chapter Seven ** Chapter Eight ** Chapter Nine ** Chapter Ten **
Chapter Eleven ** Chapter Twelve ** Chapter Thirteen ** Chapter Fourteen ** Chapter Fifteen ** Chapter Sixteen ** Chapter Seventeen ** Chapter Eighteen ** Chapter Nineteen ** Chapter Twenty ** Chapter Twenty One
***
Chapter Twenty
***
There were moments with a baby in the house that he had not been expecting, and a lot more moments of amazement.
His mother had started answering the phone with “What do you need to know, honey?” instead of “Hello.”
Of course she was thrilled, and quite nearly as proud as if he had given birth himself. She joked that way with Siwon, finally stopping when his eyes narrowed and he threatened to abscond with the baby carrier.
Of course that it made her happy thrilled him. And Siwon of course, smiled in a permanent high when the baby was on display. If he were any prouder he would pop. Yunjee was still a bit ambivalent about the new arrival... He had no doubt she loved the baby, and she tended to orbit him, watching what he did at all hours. Still, Yunjoong wasn’t quite as interactive as Nala had been.
Nala, to all their amusement, was no lion princess when it came to the baby. She skirted quickly away when he cried and stared from long distances when going for water or food. They were wary of each other now, and Yunjee played advisee, lecturing her on good baby-related behavior. Very gentle, not too loud. It made him grin.
The morning of the third day, with Siwon set to spend the morning at work before coming home so that Hankyung could go to teach, they stared at each other with bleary eyes. Two days was so not enough time to be left alone with a baby without help. Even Yunjee would be at school. They had not showered or eaten that morning, choosing instead to find an oasis in each other. Clinging to each other after, until the baby began to coo, and Yunjee knocked on their door.
But their first morning alone had gone well. Yunjoong snoozed as he went through his morning routine, stretching muscles and working himself past a light sweat. He had barely finished when Siwon called, the vibration of the phone making his heart leap before he figured out what it was.
Yes, the baby was okay. He was okay. All was good.
When Siwon came in, Yunjoong had been fed and changed, and they had even sneaked in a little nap after Siwon’s call. The baby in his little bassinet and he face down on the couch.
Yunjoong was cooing, awake, in his arms when Siwon leaned in to kiss him.
“Hey,” Siwon said, kissing him again. “And hi, son.”
They watched as the baby attempted to get an accidentally placed fist past his lips.
“Look at his tongue! So small!”
“He has one?” Siwon asked, putting his head closer.
“Don’t laugh! I’ve never been around babies before. I just... I don’t know what to make of him. So perfect and... Small.”
“I didn’t have much to do with Yunjee when she was a baby... When I saw them she was shoved into my arms and was tiny and wiggly. She wiggled, and she cried, and I handed her back, and that’s really all I remember.”
They sat together as Siwon ate, until he had to leave for classes. And knew the child was in good hands. Loving, trusted hands.
Siwon had learned some rudimentary cooking skills purely out of self defense in feeding a child. He made a good assistant and learned quickly. But Siwon did excel at cleaning. Which was not something that made Hankyung’s heart go pitty-pat.
They took turns getting up at night, now, now that they weren’t so deathly afraid of every movement. Diapers were not a mystery. Clothes went on like any others. Clean and warm and fed, he had become no less amazing to them.
They promised each other no one would know about the frantic call to Hankyung’s mother about how they were supposed to bathe him.
No one really needed to know.
***
Henry remembered his girlfriend in high school, the way she had stared after him, nearly held herself apart from him. Had he made her act that way? This was different. Donghae was more apt to squeeze than stand apart, and he wanted closer. He was not “okay” with Donghae holding himself away like he had been with the girl. He kissed Donghae, felt the eager response. They were like...
He remembered thinking Donghae was like glue. No matter how much he had tried to unstick himself, somehow he kept coming back. He had never really thought that boys were his thing. Donghae was his thing. Donghae was definitely his thing.
He had barely gotten in the door between the break from class and work before Donghae had pulled him to the bed. No one could accuse them of not having healthy appetites, he mused.
He kissed below the bandage on Donghae’s forehead.
“Did he hit you?” he asked Donghae, as serious as he possibly could.
“Yes, but... That’s not what caused that. He pushed me, and I fell into a table. So it was kind of his fault, and kind of the table’s fault.”
“And you think that’s okay? Someone hitting you? Pushing you?”
“No.” Donghae played with a lock of Henry’s hair with a frown. “I shouldn’t tell you anything about it. I should just say, oh, it was an accident. But I’m not okay with it. There are things I can’t tell you. But I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want you to worry too much. I’ll be okay, really. And I’m...”
He pulled Henry down, so that his mouth was nearly at Henry’s ear. “I’m doing everything I can, okay? This won’t be the way it is forever. I’m working on it.”
“Is it dangerous?” he asked, nuzzling Donghae’s cheek.
“More than doing nothing, I guess. But not much. I’m handling it. I don’t know if I’d have done it for me, but because of you... I don’t care how long it takes.”
“When did you...”
“The day after you met the bastard,” Donghae said, nearly swallowing the curse in his throat.
“You came to get me that day... You were so happy.”
“Because that was the beginning of the end. That was the start for us. I don’t want you hurt by it, or anyone you know. I really don’t want to see anyone else bleed.”
“You bleeding is too much, Donghae!”
“He hadn’t hit me like that in almost a year. It’s okay. If I don’t defy him again by going away for the weekend like we did, it’ll be okay. But I had to... Had to make him think I wasn’t being too good.”
“So he thinks I’m inspiring you to be bad?”
“No. I told him why we went. Because of my dad. I probably got off easy because of that.”
It was a sick gnawing ache inside him to listen to Donghae detail how he got off easy and hadn’t been hit like that in a year. Like it was normal or okay or expected. Because it wasn’t. It put this worry in Donghae, this shadowed reassurance. He was hearing this story, but the barest hint of it. Donghae trusted him with that much. And yet he felt it had less to do with trust and more to do with protection. He was being protected. And he wasn’t sure what to do about that.
He needed help... Someone to tell him doing nothing was what he was supposed to be doing, that he was worrying too much. Or not worrying enough.
Donghae whispered that they didn’t have much time, and he let himself be earnestly distracted.
***
The only people he felt he could trust with his questions in probably the whole of Korea were at Soulmate. Kyuhyun, who was earnest and seemed to think deep thoughts. And Ryeowook, whose demeanor all but begged to be trusted and confided in. He waited almost the entire shift, waiting for a chance, when there were no customers, no interruptions.
It came, finally, almost an hour before closing. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun stood together, accounting books sitting in front of them as they went over the month together. He hated to interrupt them. In fact, he turned back toward the shelves once before steeling himself and bucking up.
Ryeowook noticed his approach first, nudging Kyuhyun’s arm.
“I...had a question?” he warbled out. “Not about work, I...”
Kyuhyun motioned him onto a stool. “What’s up?”
He chewed on his lip as he considered. “If someone borrows money from someone... And they are threatening. What can you do?”
It was the most generic question he could fathom, besides saying something bizarre, like, oh by the way I think my boyfriend is tangled up with some crime family. How do I help? When Donghae had mentioned his father’s illness, the hospital fees... Remembering the threatening man, and his hold on Donghae... It had been the first thought. Those people thought they owned Donghae because of the debt. Maybe made him do things. Possibly criminal things. And that was not the Donghae he knew.
“Are you in trouble?” Ryeowook asked, immediately concerned.
“No!” he said hastily.
“It’s not you, is it?” Kyuhyun asked, frowning. “Is it Donghae?”
His eyes widened. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, okay, he just...” He frowned. “I don’t know. I just didn’t know if there was something I could do. The police would just laugh at me. And I wouldn’t want to do that without talking to him. I just don’t know anything.”
Kyuhyun thought on that for a moment, and looked at Ryeowook. “What do you think?”
“Write down everything you know. Names or places or dates... Take notes of anything suspicious, even if it seems trivial. If there’s something you can take pictures of without being in trouble, do it. Maybe it doesn’t make any sense or help you out today, but maybe it will some day.”
They both stared at Ryeowook who stared back. “What? I watch crime dramas!”
“Are you in any danger?” Kyuhyun asked, frowning a bit.
“No... No. He says neither of us are, and I believe him. It’s just hard. I didn’t mean to make either of you worry...”
He felt horrible bringing it up, with all that had happened at the store and all the worry Kyuhyun had been through.
“No!” Kyuhyun said, shaking his head and grinning a bit wryly. “You wanted advice... I don’t know how much help we were, but Ryeowook has good ideas. Just find out what you can, just in case. You can come to us any time. Really any time, even after hours. If you need anything.”
“Thanks,” he said, and meant the smile.
“I’ll come help you finish,” Ryeowook told him, and came around to take his arm and lead him back into the stacks.
He was sent home with muffins and hugs and ideas, but sadly... No answers.
***
When he walked in the door of Zhou Mi’s apartment, it was beginning to look a little like his place as well. They had finally moved in the kitchen table and chairs, and an armchair as well. His coat rack was beside the door, and his non-computer game systems stacked in the corner. There was a small cactus, a birthday gift from Ryeowook one year and the only thing he had successfully managed to keep alive.
He had brought a box, singular, of books... And it sat in front of Zhou Mi’s shelves. Even if he had drawers for his clothes and space in Zhou Mi’s closet for things that were hung up, bookshelf space was something that they had not quite figured out.
The weirdest thing, though, had been when they had put his sheets on Zhou Mi’s bed. It was like their apartments had mated.
Even if they were were still working on that.
He started as a man breezed past the store’s register.
“Just going back to see Zhou Mi,” Heechul called.
Visions of the kiss he had witnessed the first time Heechul had come flashed through his mind, and he signaled Henry over.
He edged past Heechul who stood beside the table, sliding onto Zhou Mi’s legs and reaching up to curl a hand around the back of his neck. It was the tiniest bit possessive, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. It wasn’t anything that wasn’t true.
Heechul tutted as Zhou Mi’s arm came around him. “Well, well. Look at the sly kitten guarding his territory. You finally succeeded… Did you get the email about the opening?”
“I did,” Zhou Mi said warily.
“Will you take it?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“But you want to.” Heechul pressed.
“You know I do. I need time, Heechul, and there’s some left. I’ll let you know.”
Heechul sent a skeptical look at Kyuhyun. “He has claws, Seasoning. Don’t let him hold you back. I’ll check back with you tomorrow.”
Kyuhyun felt the cold to the tips of his fingers even before Heechul had left.
“What opening?”
“Were you jealous?” Zhou Mi asked, sounding half amused.
“Don’t play with me Zhou Mi.” He twisted, fixing steady eyes on the man in whose lap he still sat. How was he so steady, when he trembled inside? “What opening?”
“I didn’t want to… I wanted to tell you differently.” There was a pout in Zhou Mi’s voice that made him want to scream. What opening? He was leaving? And had known it for how long? As long as since the opening had been announced. Maybe longer , by the way Heechul had acted. He let his hand slip down off of Zhou Mi’s neck.
Zhou Mi gripped his shoulders, sensing the withdrawal. “No, stop. Listen. It’s an assistant professorship. The kind I’ve been looking for. I’ve turned down several offers, because they didn’t meet my needs. I’ve… I’ve enjoyed being here in the store with you so much. I would have classes several days a week, office hours. It would mean the book would go more slowly, or get put on hold, but I could see you… The university is 15 minutes from here, with traffic… It’s good you’re living with me, so I guess you’ll have to really teach me to get up in the mornings, won’t you? Won’t you, Kui Xian?”
He felt life begin to trickle back through him.
“Say that part first, stupid,” he said, shoving Zhou Mi’s shoulder.
“I didn’t come here to find you, just so I could leave, Kui Xian. Believe in me.”
Believe in him, in Zhou Mi with his bright laugh and clever eyes. He felt safe there, in those arms, surrounded by that voice.
“Did you ever find someone to help you with the Korean version of your book?” he asked, out of the blue.
“No,” Zhou Mi said, sounding confused.
“I’ll help you. We’ll do it together. I think we can do it together.” He felt like laughing, or crying, or shouting. He smiled, feeling a lazy warmth kick up against his heart, the beats seeming to rise with it. It was now or never. And it could not be never. He settled on speaking softly.
“I love you.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes widened, searching Kyuhyun’s as though he was sure he had misspoken. “What?”
“I love you, Zhou Mi. I...”
Kyuhyun watched Zhou Mi’s eyes close, his face tensed with feeling.
“And because you know I’m staying, you can say it.”
“Yes,” he said, thankful Zhou Mi could see through him.
He was cut off by Zhou Mi’s mouth, and then by Zhou Mi’s arms, which were tight enough on him to crack ribs. Suddenly they were standing and his feet weren’t on the floor any more, and he was shouting in alarm while Zhou Mi’s mouth raced on 100 miles an hour in a language he couldn’t understand.
“Hey! Speak Korean! Ugh!” Then he was back on the floor again, and being kissed breathless.
He wanted to find something witty to say, like “Wow, did you just win the lottery, too?” but he was too busy trying not to giggle back at the man currently peppering his face with kisses.
“I love you, Kui Xian.”
“I thought...” he began, his fingers lightly tracing through Zhou Mi’s, “that I ought to tell you before I finished moving.”
“Finished moving,” Zhou Mi said, sounded dazed. “Sometimes, when you looked at me, I could see it so clearly in your eyes... Like it was just leaping to get out of you. That... Really filled me a lot, you know? But hearing you say it is like, all of my birthdays and Christmases and New Years rolled into one.”
“Sorry I forgot to put on a shiny red bow,” Kyuhyun said, finding his sense of humor again.
“That’s okay,” Zhou Mi said, startling Kyuhyun into laughter. “I didn’t miss it.” Zhou Mi squished Kyuhyun’s cheeks between his palms. “I love you, too. I really love you.”
“Say my name,” Kyuhyun ordered.
“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said obediently.
“No. The other.”
“Kui Xian.”
“Yes,” he said, sighing and closing his eyes. “I thought I couldn’t stand that you called me that at first. But every time you call me that now... You’re the only one who can.”
“I’m glad... Kui Xian... My Kui Xian. You should have known I was staying when you saw my apartment.”
“What?”
“My books. If I hadn’t meant to stay, I’d never have unpacked them.”
Kyuhyun frowned. “You didn’t unpack them when you arrived?”
“A few… But I didn’t know how long I’d be here… I rented month to month. And I met you, and I wondered if I’d ever have a chance with you, so I waited. The day I bought bookcases… was the day you told me that I made you happy. I unpacked all of my books before I brought you to my place that night.”
“That would have made me happy… and scared me speechless.”
“Yes, that’s why I did not run in shouting “I bought bookcases for you, Kui Xian!”” he said, grinning.
“Some people buy rings for the people they love. You buy bookcases.”
“I can buy you one of those, too, if you want.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “Don’t you dare. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me before. That you were looking for a job, even.”
“A lot of the meetings I was at were about networking potential positions in addition to translating. I wanted the right job, not just any other thing that was open, you know? I wanted something I could stay at. I didn’t want to tell you about this one till I was sure I would get it. It felt like I’d be getting your hopes up and letting you down if it fell through. I didn’t want to jinx it either. I just... I don’t know.”
“How sure are you that you might get it now?”
“Pretty sure. Almost positive. There were a few applicants, but I have someone from a different department vouching for me. My chances could be worse.”
“So you have a job.”
“Yeah,” Zhou Mi said softly, petting Kyuhyun’s hair. “You won’t have to support me.”
“Tell me next time... I don’t think my heart can take this again.”
“I will. I’ll tell you everything. I like your heart like it is, Kui Xian. Is it...mine?”
“I don’t think think it’s Valentine’s Day,” he said, smirking. “But sure. Probably.”
“Oh Kui Xian...”
They held each other until Zhou Mi had steadied. He kissed him quickly.
“I have to get back out there.”
“Okay. I love you, Kui Xian.”
It was not a test, he realized, warm with it. Zhou Mi just wanted him to know it.
“Yeah...” he said. “I love you, too.”
***
The day before Zhou Mi was leaving, he relaxed in his reading chair in the back room, reading to himself and listening to Zhou Mi hum as he puttered on his laptop.
“I hate the thought of leaving you here alone when nothing’s been resolved in the store,” Zhou Mi said suddenly.
“And you expect me to pick up and leave it, leaving Ryeowook and Henry to deal with it alone?” he asked, incredulous.
“No, but... I just wish. I want everything to be okay. Not just so you can come with me.”
Zhou Mi turned to him, taking his free hand and looking quite sorrowful.
“Don’t be stupid, Zhou Mi. You’re acting like I’m the one leaving. And I need that hand you know.”
Zhou Mi frowned at the hand he was holding, letting it go slowly. Kyuhyun sighed.
“Stand up. And sit down.” He stood with Zhou Mi, switching their positions until he could shove Zhou Mi down into the chair. He sighed again, positioning himself back on Zhou Mi’s lap. “You’re really loud and obnoxious sometimes, you know? I’m trying to read and I need that hand to turn the pages. Just...hold on to me like this, okay?”
Zhou Mi sighed into his hair, and his concentration was diminished. Suddenly the book didn’t seem quite as interesting any more.
“I’ll miss you,” he said softly, and Zhou Mi’s arms squeezed nearly to the point of pain.
“I’ll miss you, too.”
“And I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“I’ll call you every day,” Zhou Mi swore. “And you have to promise me that you’ll call me if anything happens. Anything, Kui Xian. Even if it’s just a bad feeling at night.”
“Will you come save me?”
Zhou Mi made a sound of distress, and Kyuhyun shook his head, rubbing Zhou Mi’s hands with his own.
“I promise, okay? What would I do if I couldn’t talk to you about something, anyway?” At those words he felt Zhou Mi relax a bit against him, and he rubbed their cheeks together.
“Anything, Kui Xian.”
“Okay. Anything.”
He turned in the circle of Zhou Mi’s arms, heard the book fall but did not care.
“I love you,” he said, feeling much less exposed than he had.
He met Zhou Mi’s eyes with a smile, reassuring him with a kiss.
***
They had said their goodbyes to each other in the privacy of the apartment. Long minutes stretching past their lingering kisses.
Still the tight hug at the airport had been hard, the furtive I love yous, and the promise that Zhou Mi would call him that night.
It took him a long time to go to sleep that night. Not because he was alone away from the apartment over the store, but because he was alone in their bed. There was no Zhou Mi trying to snuggle against him, no lean body to drape over as he relaxed. He gave in and covered one of the pillows with one of Zhou Mi’s unwashed undershirts. When he told Zhou Mi that the next day, he had laughed.
“You should have sent one of yours with me, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi teased.
Ryeowook had taken to hugging him at random points in time during the day. Apparently he looked like his puppy had been kicked. Though he was positive Ryeowook had been shocked when he had hugged back every time, because he had never really been known as a huggy type. Zhou Mi had turned him into a cuddle monster.
They did talk, as Zhou Mi had promised. Every day. He listened as Zhou Mi told him the things he had eaten, the people and places he had seen. How his family sent greetings and regrets that he hadn’t been able to come. And then demanded to hear every minute detail of Kyuhyun’s day.
They whiled away almost half of his trip that way. He reclined back in bed the fourth night, listening to Zhou Mi ramble.
“...and so, at least I haven’t cried again.”
“That’s good,” he said. And then thought about it. “What do you mean, again?”
“Oh. Well, when my parents came to pick me up... They smuggled my grandparents with them as a surprise. Seeing them all after so long... The plane ride was hard, knowing I was leaving you to go to them. Like maybe I shouldn’t have made the trip so long...”
“It was kind of late to worry about that, don’t you think?” he asked, disturbed by the images he was conjuring of Zhou Mi breaking down in tears in the middle of the airport.
“Yeah... And we’ve made it this far, right? Only a few more days until we see each other again.”
Yes, just a few more days...
The tears on Zhou Mi’s arrival made sense. Happy tears, to see the family he loved so much. What disturbed him more was that he could see Zhou Mi’s tears as he left, sadness at leaving, not knowing when he would see them again. The tears were normal. They were Zhou Mi. He didn’t doubt that Zhou Mi would be eager to see him, hold him, touch him. What bothered him, and how could he not have considered this?, was that when Zhou Mi shed those tears as he left China, he would be alone. All alone through the plane ride with only the promise of Kyuhyun meeting him at the airport to cheer him.
But until then, alone.
He left the apartment so quickly that he nearly left behind his keys. And took a moment to realize that he couldn’t get Zhou Mi’s car door open because he was trying to use his keyless entry remote. He veered to his car, and cursed himself the whole drive, darting up the stairs to Hankyung’s door.
“I have to go to China,” he blurted out, as soon as Hankyung had opened the door.
“Is Zhou Mi okay?!” Hankyung asked, stepping forward in concern.
“No... No, he’s fine. We were just talking and... I have to go. He’s there for four more days. Can I even... Is it possible?”
“Of course it is. Come in.”
The house smelled of curry, clearly what had been eaten for dinner that night. Yunjoong was asleep in his little mobile bassinet, and Yunjee, he assumed, was asleep for tomorrow’s school day.
“Where’s Siwon?”
“Out grocery shopping and getting baby wipes. Our schedules are upside down right now. Have a seat at the table,” Hankyung told him. “I have to go get something.”
Hankyung was back within moments, sitting down with a little folder. “You have your passport from the last year of high school, from the trip we didn’t go on?”
Hankyung had decided not to go because Kyuhyun couldn’t, and they had spent the week helping out their mothers instead.
“Of course. It’s still valid. But I need a visa, and...”
“Then tomorrow morning, you go to the consulate. You get a rush service. I’m sure it’ll cost extra, but so it goes. If you’re lucky, it’ll take a day. You can catch the first flight out as soon as the visa is in your hands. And you’ll get to spend two, two and a half days there with him.”
“But there’s paperwork...”
Hankyung grinned. “Really? Here, look at this.”
The folder was opened, and papers laid out. Application for visa to travel in China. All made out in Kyuhyun’s name.
“Siwon helped me fill it out, since he did some traveling there and writes neater. You’ll have to sign it there, I think. And you should check it in case I made any mistakes, but...”
He went silent as Kyuhyun grabbed him into a tight hug. “You knew I needed to go.”
“Yeah,” Hankyung said, hugging him back. “But I couldn’t make you. Neither could Zhou Mi.”
“Thank you, Hankyung. Really. Even with all you have to do, you still remember these things. I’m a terrible friend. I...I love you, you know?”
Hankyung moaned, as Kyuhyun knew he would. “I love you too, Kyu.”
“You’re not supposed to cry, you know.”
“Shut up.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” Kyuhyun said, and grinned as he sat back into his chair, leaving Hankyung to dab at the corners of his eyes. Siwon walked in the front door as they started reviewing the papers again.
Siwon bent to kiss him. “What’s up?”
“Kyuhyun is going to China. And he tried to proposition me.””
“Oh! That’ll make a lot of people happy.”
“Him propositioning me?”
Siwon ruffled his hair, and edged into the kitchen to put away groceries.
“Will you tell Zhou Mi you’re coming?” Hankyung asked.
“I don’t think so. I think I’ll call him from the airport for a ride.”
“He’ll be so happy,” Hankyung said, squeezing his hand.
“Yeah. I can imagine.”
And he would be happy, too. These sheets of paper, the fee for the visa, were all so small when he imagined Zhou Mi’s reaction when he called.
***
When Zhou Mi answered the phone, it sounded like he was a long way away.
“Kui Xian? Hello!”
“Hey...” he said, dodging a family with what seemed like 20 bags. “Um. How far are you away from the airport?”
“Not that far...” There was a pause before Zhou Mi gasped. “Why? Did something happen at the store? Are you okay? Do you need me to come back? Where...”
“No! I... I’m at the airport. In China.”
“In China?!” Zhou Mi’s voice rose nearly a full octave on that word, and before Kyuhyun could raise an affirmative answer, he heard Zhou Mi dissolve into rapid Mandarin, clearly speaking to someone near him, but putting his mouth to the receiver with something that Kyuhyun assumed amounted to “Kui Xian, I can’t believe it!”
Someone had clearly hit Zhou Mi on the back, because he coughed, breathed, and spoke breathlessly into the phone. “I’ll be right there, Kui Xian. Don’t move!”
“Don’t come too fast, you need to be alive when you pick me up,” he warned.
The last thing he heard before Zhou Mi hung up was laughter. What had he gotten himself into?
He sat as ordered until Zhou Mi called again. They played phone tag for a few minutes over where exactly he was. Finally he was able to hang up the phone as Zhou Mi’s head popped up above the crowd.
He had no idea what Zhou Mi was saying as he was bodily picked up, exclamations of delight rather loudly being expelled into his shoulder.
“You’re here!” Zhou Mi said, pulling back far enough so that he could smile into Kyuhyun’s face, clearly holding himself back from kissing him.
“I am... And thanks to you, half of China knows I am, too.”
“Let’s go,” Zhou Mi said, taking his hand and his bag as well. “I want to greet you properly.”
Properly meant finding the nearest darkened corner on the way to the car, and kissing him until they both were panting.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to do that at home,” Zhou Mi said in the general vicinity of his neck.
“Yeah,” he agreed, finding his swimming brain cells. “Not a really good move for meeting the parents. Molesting their son.”
“You can molest me all you want tonight,” Zhou Mi said, chuckling at Kyuhyun’s statements.
“We... They’ll let us sleep together?”
“Of course. They know we do at home.” Which was new information to him... “So, you know. They’ll just expect us to be on good behavior.”
“Well, now I’m disappointed, because you said I could...”
“I didn’t say how good, Kui Xian.”
He smiled, stroking Zhou Mi’s face with his fingers. He had known that he could make Zhou Mi this happy, just by coming with him... No matter what he had to endure at Zhou Mi’s house, this happiness made it worth it. He let his kiss linger on Zhou Mi’s mouth.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Zhou Mi said, totally unnecessarily.
He would tell him all the hoops he had had to jump through to get here. Later. “Me too.”
“We should go, or they’ll think you kidnapped me back to Korea.”
A thought struck him.
“They don’t... Blame me for you not living here, do they?”
“Of course not! I went with the expectation of working before I ever knew you. They’re just really happy I found you. And really excited to meet you!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you any notice, I just...”
Zhou Mi cut him off with a kiss full of longing.
“You’re here! You’re here, I... Kui Xian.”
The waver in Zhou Mi’s voice was making his own eyes damp.
“Stop. You’ll get tired of translating for me. Just think of that.”
“Never,” Zhou Mi mumbled into his shoulder.
“We’ll go back together,” he said, patting the back of Zhou Mi’s head. “And you won’t have to cry all by yourself when you tell your family goodbye.”
A loud sob was expelled into his jacket collar and he was squeezed right to the point of pain.
Anyone who was passing probably though he was comforting someone who had found out there had been some kind of death, he thought with a sigh. But this was why he had come. This was something that he could give.
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 01:40 am (UTC)I think it's my favorite chapter yet. Kyu is happy, Mimi's happy, Geng's happy, Siwon's happy, Ryeowook's happy. Henhae should be happy but 5/7 is good. XD
I want to squish Kyu and be proud of him for finally saying it, and then for making Zhou Mi so happy. I want to cry with them.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:51 am (UTC)I remember writing some of these scenes eons ago. <3 Good times. HenHae are together... That counts for something? >.>
Fiiiinally. lol. 20 chapters for gracious sake. Mi is a patient boy... <3 :D :D Thanks~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:52 am (UTC)Thank you! :D
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:58 am (UTC)Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 02:39 am (UTC)I WANT A MAN TO SHARE BOOKSHELVES WITH ME!!!!!! AHHHH!
AND KYU GOING TO CHINA JUST SO ZHOUMI WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ON THE PLANE RIDE BACK!!!!!
*Is dead*
*Is dead of the awesomeness of this chapter*
*is deadly waiting for more* lol
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 02:40 am (UTC)AND OMG KYUHYUN FINALLY SAID IT!
AND IT WAS SO PERFECT!!!!!!!
AHHHHHH!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 03:09 am (UTC)Darnit, I wanted nighttime to be included in this chapter as well,
are they finally gonna be unable to help themselves? At mom's and dad's? Easy, boys.But of course, I also want to meet the parents. They sound like awesome folks. They might be my favorite parents in the story already and they've yet to appear. And awww, Mimi crying at seeing his grandparents. I love this family.And Heechul is back! I was wondering about him coming back. I want to see more of him, he makes Kyu act funny.
Darnit, I've procrastinated long enough now. I gotta put a presentation together AND get some sleep. Argh.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:37 am (UTC)And I almost did... But no. Nighttime will be in the next chapter. :D Easy boys, indeed. <3
Heechul has a very busy life. XD Kyu acting funny is a perk though...
Hope the presentation (and sleep!) went well!
Thanks so much~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 03:20 am (UTC)and the uncle... and donghae =( poor fishy~~~~~ *pushes henry out of the way to huggle him*
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:38 am (UTC)We will all huggle Donghae and the world will be better. *nods* I believe this.
Thank you~~! <3
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 03:56 am (UTC)how could u write sweet and sad things at the same time???
at least everyone going to be happy >_<
is this fic almost going to end????
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:39 am (UTC)There's still a little ways to go. :D
Thanks so much~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 04:52 am (UTC)HENHAE. LOL. BUT NOT LOL CAUSE IT'S FUNNY, LOL CAUSE OMG ANGST AND I'M DYING? I'M SO UNINTELLIGENT RIGHT NOW.
They're in China. \o/
KYU. I LOVE YOU. HE. MIMI. HEART DOING BACKFLIPS OF JOY. MAKING OUT IN DARK SHADY AREAS ON THE WAY TO CARS. I LOVE YOU, HE SAID. GUH???
AM I COHERENT YET??? D:
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:44 am (UTC)*squishes HenHae*
Chiiina. They had to, right? I couldn't do that to you all. XD
Boys can't keep their hands to themselves. :3 And it took you long enough, Kyu. *pokes him*
Thank you~~! <3<3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 04:54 am (UTC)...to say the least, I went just a little bit insane when he finally confessed his love for Mimi....*mini-explosion of happiness*
and now happiness in China-land ^________^
**yay!**
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:45 am (UTC):D :D Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 05:39 am (UTC)OK.
SO, IT IS 1:40AM WHERE I AM AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP AND WILL GIVE A FULL COMMENT LATER.
BUT OMG QMI. AND THE LOVIN'S AND CHINA.
YOU <3<3<3<3
BE BACK LATER WITH COHERENCY <3
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 05:30 am (UTC)First things first:
OMG, ASDFJK;L;IOEWRBKN;KAJ4131;KJLKJBAR Ryeowook~~ ♥ ♥ ♥
They both stared at Ryeowook who stared back. “What? I watch crime dramas!”
It's official. Ryeowook is the most adorable thing ever.
Ryeowook had taken to hugging him at random points in time during the day.
Again, Ryeowook is just so much love. On a side note, I was totally laughing at how MiMi has turned Kyuhyun into a cuddle monster, albeit a snarky, sharp-tongued one. LOL
“I’ll help you. We’ll do it together. I think we can do it together.” He felt like laughing, or crying, or shouting. He smiled, feeling a lazy warmth kick up against his heart, the beats seeming to rise with it. It was now or never. And it could not be never. He settled on speaking softly.
“I love you.”
I love this part. It's honest and heartfelt and not overdone or mawkish or sappy. It's very Kyu. ♥ Together, QMi can do anything. :>
I also love Mi breaking out in rapidfire Mandarin and Kyu being all "Speak Korean you silly man!!!" XD
He had known that he could make Zhou Mi this happy...
Do you mean "Had he known...."?
HenHae D: D: Henry, please, please watch over Donghae~ Those two need to take care of each other and be safe.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:05 am (UTC)Ryeowook! I can add him in! Poor baby. :D He deserves so much more.
Kyu, starved for contact, and needing it. <3
Mawkish! There's a word you don't see often. I had several ways I contemplated having Kyu confess. This one won, so I'm just really, really happy it worked. <3
Mi has good timing for Mandarin speaking. XD
Ack. _-_ I guess it kind of makes sense both ways, because... He was probably pretty sure it'd make Zhou Mi happy, but it's less jarring the other way. XD Thank you!
HenHae do need to take care of each other. <3 Will continue this.
Thanks so much~~! :D <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 05:47 am (UTC)Oh oh oh! New baby in the house *_* I know how that feels since my sis just gave birth a couple of months ago and this second one is way different from her sister! But yay~ baby!!!
And I am glad that I wouldn't need to apply for visa if I ever intend to visit China XD It must be harrowing!
“Some people buy rings for the people they love. You buy bookcases.” - The sweetest thing I have ever read.
... Donghae! Will he be okay? Don't hit him too hard!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:09 am (UTC)New babies can be very life altering! I have nieces and nephews, so yeeeah, I know that. XD SiHan does their best...
Oh gracious. I spent two minutes researching visas because I've never gotten one. Korea's process might be different than ours. But shh, we'll pretend. XD
<3 Oh, bookcases... How we love thee...
*pets Donghae* Henry will take care of him. :)
Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 06:28 am (UTC)i'm glad kyumi happy.
that everyone is happy!haha.
except poor henry and hae.
they'll be happy soon too?^^
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:11 am (UTC)I'll be working on HenHae. :) :)
Thanks~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 08:35 am (UTC)I ♥♥♥ this chapter the big things, but most of all the little things:
- Kyuhyun said the three words to Zhoumi!! ^____^ made me Happy as well and him going to China to be with him and to not let him ride the plane back alone ♥... and the bookcases ^__^
- LOL@“Don’t come too fast, you need to be alive when you pick me up,” he warned.
- Sihan as parents working like clockwork, but having secret help from Geng's mother haha... their family is so lovable, YunJee lecturing YunJoong softly, Nala being wary of the baby... >_< *squee*
- Kyuhyun the cuddle monster hihi... and Heechul making him a little 'green' monster >_<...
- Ryeowook with his crime drama's ^__^
- HenHae have to become happy too! Hope Henry will find answers soon!
- And the Kyuhan ... ugh... their friendship is ♥...
As always, can't wait for the next chapter!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 10:26 am (UTC)I keep thinking it's not possible but it always gets cuter and now there's just babies and love everywhere and my heart is exploding ugggghhh.
I also never really liked shihan at all, I don't know why, but I love yours. :B
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:18 am (UTC)<3<3 My heart will explode with you, cause I'm so happy to have gotten there for them. <3
SiHan is a weakness of mine... So if I convey any of the love I have at all... <3
Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 10:42 am (UTC)god that was so sweet and fnhakdlaak I love how Hankyung had everything ready for him and I feel so commentless today because HE WENT TO CHINA. AND SAID I LOVE YOU and that makes me feel so giddy and happy and I love this fic ;_____; ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:20 pm (UTC)Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 11:12 am (UTC)AWWW, KYUHYUN TELLS EVERYONE HE LOVES THEM (and by everyone I mean two people, but he hugs Wookie too...).
But by far, this is my favourite bit (aside from when Hannie shows Kyu the paperwork and Kyu tells Hannie he loves him, because the BFFery is adorable):
Ryeowook had taken to hugging him at random points in time during the day. Apparently he looked like his puppy had been kicked. Though he was positive Ryeowook had been shocked when he had hugged back every time, because he had never really been known as a huggy type. Zhou Mi had turned him into a cuddle monster.
IT'S SO FREAKING CUTE.
(Also, Kyu went to China! AWWWW.)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:24 pm (UTC)<3 Kyu can't hold himself back when it was released, hehe. Got to love the BFFs. ;_;
I love cute. XD XD <3 And he had to go to China... just had to. :D
Thank you~~! :D
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:27 pm (UTC)Thanks~~! :D
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 07:01 pm (UTC)and hannie and wonnie are just too cute ♥
they knew that kyu would go! and hannie crying was so adroable ♥♥♥
zhoumi must be really happy ne ~
i'm happy for him too!!
and that kyu finally said those three words ~ i'm happy he finally could say them!! aww this whole chapter made me so happy!!
and i hope donghae is alright ne ...
thank you! ^^
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:33 pm (UTC)SiHan... hehe.
We'll work on Donghae. <3
Thank you~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 01:12 am (UTC)once again i'm in a rush now LoL
but i couldn't go without leaving a small comment xD
LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED
LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED
LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED
LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED
this chapter *___*
just so you know xD
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:52 pm (UTC)Thank you~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 02:44 am (UTC)Also, I was wondering if you wanted to be friends! You seem like a really cool person. ^^
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:39 pm (UTC)And sure! :) My life is revolving around SuJu right now... Shocking I know. lol. XD
Thanks~~! :D
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 03:12 am (UTC)CHINA
KNECKS
KISSING
CHINA
SEXUALITY KUI XIAN
SDfdsgfsldkgjldskjf;lds
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:48 pm (UTC)Thank you~~! :D
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:07 am (UTC)And ShiHan are just fantastic, and they're handling parenting very well too (minus a few unmentionable freak-outs. XDDD) Not only are they being epic parents (with epic Grandma Han) but epic friends too! Hannie knew Kyu so well and Siwon's so willing to help. Such a wonderful couple!!
And even though Donghae says it's nothing, I don't believe it and like Henry, I'm pretty fucking worried about that kid. I'm glad they're happy but there's that tense fear underlying the relationship they have because of Hae's "uncle". Hopefully, it'll all work out before they get hurt (in Hae's case, even worse than before. DX)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:01 pm (UTC)Parenting ups and downs~ Hopefully bringing them only closer. <3 Geng clearly got some hints in his conversations with Kyu. <3 *squishes them all*
*pets Hae* :( He's doing his best... But yeah, Henry can't help but worry. :( Really keeping them from blooming... But working on it. *nods*
Thanks so much~~! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-05-23 12:41 pm (UTC)If that had been true, it would've been quite a feat indeed. It's so cute though, her new phone greeting.♥ I'm sure it's really reassuring to have at least one side of the family supporting them 110%! And I'm cooing in Yunjee's direction for her cuteness. gentle and quiet indeed!
The baby in his little bassinet and he face down on the couch.
Child rearing is tough. Hannie, hang in there!
He was sent home with muffins and hugs and ideas, but sadly... No answers.
Well, I guess it was worth a try, but this means that book nerds don't know everything! XD And he's got people to rely on for some kind of moral support at least. I'm sure he feels a bit better now that someone else knows about his worries. I think it's sweet though, how Hae tries his best to protect Henry, and tries to be come a man free of shadows.♥
It was like their apartments had mated.
Even if they were were still working on that.
That was a very witty take on the situation. It conveys just the right amount of the feeling: "you're a sad loser and your relationship has serious issues" ♥
“I love you.”
Victory dancing is in order now! Woohoo! I admit I was totally taken aback; it was totally unexpected. I hadn't fully understood why he said it then and not before, but thank goodness a very clear explanation came soon after. Wow. Now they can be happy together! Happiness level = maximum! ♥♥♥ Sexings are finally in order too! Woo!
“I bought bookcases for you, Kui Xian!”
That is the most romantic gift for bookworms. ♥ That is so sweet though. And so witty! Their lives are reflected through books. I really love that idea.♥♥
“You’re really loud and obnoxious sometimes, you know? I’m trying to read and I need that hand to turn the pages. Just...hold on to me like this, okay?”
Kyuhyun is dishing out love wrapped by barbed wire huh. Oh, how I love him!♥
Though he was positive Ryeowook had been shocked when he had hugged back every time, because he had never really been known as a huggy type.
Aww, Zhoumi really changed him for the better! He's soo good for him!♥ Geng has so much wisdom!!♥ Ryeowook must be pretty happy to get some hugging-lovin' back, finally after all these years.
“I have to go to China,” he blurted out, as soon as Hankyung had opened the door.
OMG WHAT?! So a short Chinese trip is in order~! Woohoo~ I can't believe that he's willing to go just so that Zhoumi doesn't have to feel sad and lonely for a few hours. That's love for ya.
“You knew I needed to go.” OMG WHAT? Geng (and Shiwon) did this for him?! He's the best best friend ever! That's amazing! And touching! They're so close! (It's too bad about their missed trip together though). And Hannie cried, that cute fountain.♥ Still, after all of that, Kyuhyun is still looking forward more to Zhoumi's reaction. That's love.♥
Properly meant finding the nearest darkened corner on the way to the car, and kissing him until they both were panting.
That is so awesome. But OMG the parents know and they're okay? Chinese parents are da bomb~! XD I hope I'll get to "meet" them too in the next chapter! btw, Zhoumi's reaction to Kyuhyun coming was ♥. I'm sure Kyuhyun felt a really proud of himself to be able to make Zhoumi so happy. :D