[Fic] Fins - 1/1
Jul. 2nd, 2011 02:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coley_merrinTitle: Fins
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's life was derailed, and he was drifting. But what washed up on the beach wasn't a fairy tale or a myth. To save Zhou Mi, he had to take control - of himself. Of his future.
A/N: The reasons betas exist. XD This is a lot more readable after![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wobaozhewo got into it. \o/// Questions, what questions? >.> <3<3 Thanks as always~ :) :) <3<3
***
There was something calming about walking on the beach alone. Perhaps it was because of the give of the sand under his feet as he moved from the drier upper sand to the wet. A hell of a lot different than sidewalks to air conditioned stores, escalators, subways. If Kyuhyun looked back he could’ve seen the impressions he'd made, the push of the ball of his foot, the deliberate dig of his toes. He wanted to leave his mark there. The unexpected summer storm had chased everyone away, and he wasn’t sad about that. All he saw was some child’s abandoned toy near a half-demolished sand castle, and a stretch of emptiness heading up to the cliffs. So he didn't mind the drops of water that occasionally cooled his skin. It was what he’d come for.
He neared the rocks that jutted out at one part of the beach. Worn smooth from many waves, it was a perfect place to sit and contemplate, watching the water run up around the rocks toward the shore. A nice place to play for a child. He’d seen some using it as sort of a ship the day he’d arrived. But he liked to sit and think there. And as long as he didn’t stop paying attention to the tide, he and his little snack were fine.
He tried all the breathing techniques he'd been taught to calm himself, letting his anxiety exhale through him, taking cleansing breaths. The gray and white swirl of the sky above him, and the gray-green swirl of the ocean beneath him. He let the sounds become part of himself, and for once didn't feel the tears threaten in the back of his throat. How long had it been since he'd driven? Not long enough. He thought of his little car, his apartment, his TV. He didn’t miss them. It was a surprise because those were the only normal things he had left. But he never wanted to see them again, even if he knew he had to.
That was when he saw the floating log. Too big to be a lump of seaweed, and at first, too strangely colored. If a log was floating up, he’d stayed too long with the tide, he thought, staring behind him. But there was not much water staying between him and the sand yet. He relaxed and was content to watch the log float closer with every movement of the waves, forward and back, and forward a little more. He stared in denial for quite a while, seeing what he’d thought was a branch look more and more like an arm.
And then as the water roiled, he saw an ear. And what he’d thought was bark, but looked like hair. A naked torso, tangled in seaweed, which was what had confused him. Light like a drifting log might be. He was on his knees in an instant, staring in horror, daring the man to move. There couldn't be a body, not on this beach, not him. But a minute passed and there was no movement except what the waves caused. And he’d been sitting for at least ten minutes watching him come in. That had to mean he was dead. There wasn’t any way a human could survive that long in the water, even in the cold.
His instinct was to run. Find someone else, get someone to help get the man out. A whole crowd of someones, half of which would probably be taking videos with their phones. Someone would be missing him, and he couldn’t just be allowed to go back out to sea. The body had knocked against the rock he was sitting on while he froze in his indecision, rocking against the solid stone with the waves. Maybe he could just get it up on shore. It, not him. It was so much less personal. He could run to get someone, and say a person had washed up. That was it. Then he’d go back to his bungalow, take a hot shower, and pretend he’d never left.
The cold of the water was a little bit of a shock as he slipped off the side of the rock. The water was up to his knees, soaking into his pants even though he'd tied them up. He reached for the floating arm, steeling himself for the cold, clammy feel his mind told him to expect.
But the arm his hand closed around was supple, not frozen death. And most of all, below the chill of the water, the skin was warm. Not radiating warmth, but definitely warmer than the water. He gaped. There wasn’t any way the man could be alive. He backed up, tugging the man along until he could get a hand around his other arm. It wasn’t far, but the weight was a lot, even with the help of the water, especially once they got onto the sand. Barely above the edge of the water, he stopped, exhausted, dropping to his knees. The man was on his back, pale and still, and Kyuhyun felt the still neck. Sluggish, but there was a heartbeat. And as water flowed below them, he watched the man draw a slow breath.
And a stupid happy smile broke over his face. He wasn’t dead! He actually laughed as he sat there, all strength in his legs totally gone. Somehow the man had found a way to keep breathing. Somehow. Still, he might be injured. They could get an ambulance, no problem. Kyuhyun took a mental inventory, though the man’s chest was bare and scraped, he looked okay. And what he'd thought were pants, were…
At first, he thought it might be nylons. The way the man’s flesh darkened. But the transition was all skin. And then…scales. He blinked. It wasn’t every day he met a man trying to be The Little Mermaid. At least, that was what his mind told him, until he realized he couldn't move the costume. And where the man’s thigh would be, was a gash, as long as his hand. Cutting through both scale and down to expose what was underneath. It was frighteningly obvious that it was no costume. The water began its slide back out, revealing dark scales, and a wide, greenish, almost translucent fin that fluttered in the water. He reached for the man’s hip, not accepting it. No amount of gripping or pinching dislodged the scales for his disbelieving mind. And he jerked as the man moaned.
No, not man.
He’d come to the beach to find peace in his mind, and to heal his body.
And he’d found…a merman?
***
Being rational wasn’t his first thought. It wasn’t possible, was all that was going through his head.
Also, why him.
He would be the one to have psychotic breaks like these, or find some kind of guy in a really realistic suit. But if it was for a movie, it was even more realistic than he imagined. He could smell the wound, see the indentions in the skin of the man, where he bled. Even for his imagination, that was too much. Nothing like this existed in the real world. He was utterly sure of that. It wasn’t like he’d seen any unicorns lately.
He just knew that he didn't have the expertise needed to do what had to be done. Help was needed, for the wounds, to take care of him. Kyuhyun couldn’t do that on his own. He just needed someone else. He didn’t want it, couldn’t do it. Especially not seeing the panicked fingers scrabbling at the sand.
He stood with a stagger. And sprinted up the beach as fast as he could, feeling the sand push behind him, almost stumbling when he pushed away too hard.
He froze on the edge of the sand, where the roots of the grass hung down, edging into the beach. The dark eyes opening, the soft moan. Frightened. Asking for help. Asking him for help. If he went, called the authorities. The police would come. Maybe the military. Researchers. It’d be huge news, really. If it was real, and it wasn’t some kind of hoax, people would go crazy. Some kind of mythical, fairy tale creature washing up on a deserted beach.
If people knew that Kyuhyun was the one who found him, then they’d want to talk to him, hear his story. What he saw, what he did. They’d want to give him all sorts of interviews and in general get in his face. And then every time they showed a picture of the merman or whatever in a tank or being poked at, he would know that he was the one who put him there. Even after they found out it was some kind of genetic thing or something, and not really some kind of legend. And if he was too pathetic, Kyuhyun would be forced to go all Free Willy on where he was kept.
So the big question was whether he could live out the rest of his life knowing something like that, without telling someone. He turned back the beach in time for the scales on the bottom half of the creature’s body to be exposed again, the fin. The merman’s hands moving and grasping at the sand. Maybe he didn’t even speak. Maybe he was just some one-off thing, some kind of genetic accident.
But there had been confusion and pain in his eyes.
So he could take the high road. Or he could just say it wasn’t his problem. Leave the beach, not tell anyone. Let someone else take care of it. By the time someone came, he didn’t know what would happen. The tide would rise. Maybe he’d just get washed out, back beyond the breakwater. And being hurt, Kyuhyun had no idea what kind of chance he had then.
The arm on the sand jerked as he came back into view. Dark eyes looking at him like he was some kind of wolf or something.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. Probably he wasn’t understood, but maybe the sound of a comforting voice would help. “You’re on the beach, and it looks like you were hurt, but you’ll be okay, okay?”
The man nodded at him, making a sort of pitiful sound. He looked like a man, no matter how many fins or scales he had below. It sounded better and way less freaky in his head. But he wasn’t just a human man. And no use of a word was going to change that, even if he would’ve liked it to. A merman. A merman who needed his help, that was some kind of ocean-dwelling creature. Aquatic things needed to stay in the water, but the merman was hurt. But salt water healed, he knew that.
“I don’t know what to do for you,” Kyuhyun said, crouching down. “How do I help you?”
He clasped his hands around the one that reached for him, hoping that was going to be comforting, too. It was sandy and a little cool, but it felt strong. That was good.
“Help me back to the water. Please.”
He gaped, brain straining to catch up to what he had just heard. Not only had the merman heard him, understood him, but talked back. He was sure he looked like an idiot, mouth moving, trying not to say something obvious and stupid as he wrapped his brain around what almost seemed impossible. A whole stack of impossibles. Including the request. He wasn’t any doctor or anything, but the wounds he saw seemed pretty bad. Bad enough that Kyuhyun didn’t think it’d be a good idea to just send him out. The merman had been unconscious, to add to that. If he fell unconscious again, who knew what’d happen. Sharks, or anything could get at him.
He stared at the hand in his. It was cool, warmish, and almost slick. He’d been hopping around the guy, running away, coming back. It was no wonder he’d be freaked out, especially waking up on a beach somewhere. And he hadn’t settled in his mind just how the merman was real exactly, he just knew any rational person would be concerned. He squeezed the hand in his to break through the panic and inattention. “No, you can’t go back in the water. Look. Look at me.”
He waited until the dark eyes focused on his, and with a twist in his gut, finalized his decision. He had come to recover, and somehow stumbled across someone that needed help more than he did.
“You’re hurt, okay? You need to heal. If you go back out there, you could die, or get eaten or something. Let me help you. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He didn’t know how he could assure the merman that he was telling the truth. All he could do was squeeze the trembling hand, and try to smile.
“Safe?”
“I’ll keep you safe,” he promised. Hoped he could keep that promise. He’d do everything he could.
The merman wanted to believe, was the feeling that Kyuhyun got. It’d take a while for either of them to be sure. The merman smiled, tentative, the wide mouth and strong bones shifting from pain to something else.
“Thank you,” the merman said. And Kyuhyun’s life shifted, right then and there.
***
“What happened? How did I get here?” the merman asked, trying feel for his own injuries.
“It looks like you slammed into the breakwater. You washed up on the beach just a while ago, and I got you up this far. But look, you can’t stay here. If people saw you, it could get bad.”
The merman’s eyes were almost heartbreakingly confused. “I don’t know where I am.”
“You’re in Korea. If that helps. Do you know who you are?” Or maybe even what.
The merman stared at their still-joined hands for a moment before looking up. “My name is Zhou Mi.”
“I’m Kyuhyun. Can you swim, or..?”
Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he was holding Zhou Mi’s hand in his dream, watching him touch the wound on his tail. Maybe it was a tail. Whatever merpeople or whatever Zhou Mi was, had. It looked like it hurt though, red and raw. No small wound.
“I am able, I believe,” Zhou Mi said. “But how far? If here is not safe, where?”
He frowned, staring at the scales at Zhou Mi’s hip. He thought of his rambles up and down the beach, to the cliffs and beyond. Beyond the cliffs was private land, no hotels or tourist locations. But getting Zhou Mi there was impossible with him injured as he was. If it was a small distance to swim, maybe. But Kyuhyun didn’t have the kind of strength to swim and tow him there. They just needed a place for him to heal. And Kyuhyun would have a chance to think all of it through. He still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a dream.
“If you can get to the cliffs… they aren’t wide, and there might be less people beyond them. Some place safer for you?”
He had to leap to his feet as the water rushed in to keep from getting knocked over. Zhou Mi just accepted it, and let the water rush over him. Fifteen minutes before he’d been feeling too weak even to stand, and now he felt strong as an ox.
“Come on,” he said, twisting his hand in Zhou Mi’s and reaching for the other. He could tow Zhou Mi out as far as he could stand, which would hopefully give him a better chance. He thought his plan would work, right up to the point where Zhou Mi cried out. He could almost see the wound ooze into the water.
“Sorry. Sorry.” Okay. So swimming wasn’t going to happen. He stared at the wound, wracking his brain. What he would want, if he were trying to help someone who’d fallen, someone who couldn’t walk.
“A wheelchair!” he almost shouted, startling Zhou Mi. “Can you hold yourself here? You won’t go floating off?”
Zhou Mi nodded. “But if someone…”
“Just be quiet and you’ll be fine. You shouldn’t attract attention. I’ll be right back!”
He knew the little hotel kept a wheelchair for the older visitors. If he could get Zhou Mi into it, he wasn’t sure what he could do. The only option was to wheel him to the other side of the cliffs. He asked himself, as he huffed and puffed up to the hotel, why he was doing it. If it had just been a person, he’d have gone for help. Gotten help. But there was no one around that he trusted besides himself. But he had time for feeling sorry for himself later.
He sweet talked the wheelchair from the front desk girl with a lot of awkward stuttering and trying to throw in a smile or two. His grandma or someone needed it and he’d bring it back as soon as he could. Please.
On a brain wave, he stopped at his bungalow, getting a blanket. At least something to cover Zhou Mi with on the way, obscure his fin. If it was some kind of movie, if he just got one thing accomplished, he could wake up, or watch the credits. Something.
Because it was empty, the wheelchair skidded along over the sand without much problem. Getting Zhou Mi into it might be a different matter, since he had no idea how much Zhou Mi weighed. His biggest relief, the thing that had kept riding the back of his mind, was that Zhou Mi was still there. And still breathing.
“Can you sit up?” he asked Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi’s skin was kind of clammy when Kyuhyun helped him, sandy, and though he knew that must’ve hurt, he knew getting into the chair was going to hurt worse. But with Zhou Mi sitting, he was able to park the chair closer. “You see this chair? I need to get you into it. To get you to the sheltered place. To the safe place.”
How much strength Zhou Mi had left, with maybe a concussion and wounds, he didn’t know. But they had to try. He’d try until he couldn’t.
“Just hang onto me, when you’re ready.”
Zhou Mi’s arms came up around his neck. “Yes, I am ready.”
“Okay… Now.”
He pulled up with as much strength as he had, heart stopping as Zhou Mi’s skin slipped under his arms for a moment, before steadying. It felt like he was trying to lift a dolphin, and the image almost caused him to giggle. And though it hurt, Zhou Mi helped, giving the final push that got part of his body into the seat, and then more. Neither of them let go for several minutes, just breathing, Zhou Mi whimpering a little. He looked first at the wound, which hadn’t started bleeding or anything in the process, which was good. But Zhou Mi’s eyes were closed as he fought the pain. He got the blanket, spreading it over Zhou Mi and tucking it under him. It was a little better than nothing.
“You have to hold on,” Kyuhyun rasped. “I’m going to tilt the chair so you don’t just slide out, but you still need to hold on.”
Zhou Mi nodded. “I understand.”
He waited until Zhou Mi gripped the armrests, and gently tilted back the chair. He figured the big wheels had a better chance of going easy over the sand. It was not such a long walk toward his bungalow, and the little walled grotto beyond it. As long as Zhou Mi stayed in the chair, as long as they got there okay, he could take care of it. The grotto was a sea-fed pool, fairly shallow. It was supposed to help him relax, sheltered from any inquiring eyes. Beyond the barrier of it, the ocean itself, at high tides, spilling into the pool itself.
“I have a mermaid - man - in a wheelchair and I’m taking him to my private pool. No, this is totally normal,” he muttered under his breath. And the going was hard, pushing it through, up the sand. He was lucky there was a ramp going up, or he’d have been in trouble, needing to drag it over the shelf of the land. He could imagine accidentally dumping Zhou Mi right out.
The entrance to the grotto was not wide, meant to be private, and his arms were trembling by the time he got the tilted chair inside it. Letting it down very carefully at the shallowest edge of the pool.
Zhou Mi was reaching for the water before he even got around the chair. “Hey, hold up. Let me help.”
The skin that had been moist and smooth before was tacky under his hands. Like he was drying out with every minute spent in the air.
“Need the water,” Zhou Mi said.
He eased Zhou Mi to the ground first, clambering into the pool with its sandy edge first. Zhou Mi’s slick scales helped them, sliding down into the sand and water. He ignored the ridges he felt along the outside of Zhou Mi’s wrists, and just kept pulling.
“Okay,” Zhou Mi gasped, and disappeared beneath the water.
He stood like an idiot, wondering if he should be concerned as Zhou Mi disappeared from in front of him. Zhou Mi surfaced to his left, face streaming.
“It is safe in this place?”
“It’s the safest place I know. I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but… I’d just want you to get better, okay? Do you need food or anything? Something for your wound?”
“No,” Zhou Mi said, touching the seaweed they had dragged along with them. “I am fine for now. The water and rest will heal me.”
And that got them back to the nitty gritty details of it all.
“What are you?” he asked, still breathing hard.
Zhou Mi’s face was curious, as though he didn't expect to be asked that question. “Humans call us merfolk. I am a male of my species. We are taught that you know of us? Or… Perhaps you think we are not real?”
“Not real, yeah. Like, I feel like I hit my head or something.”
“It is best that humans think that, or they might look for us. There are not many of us left. Several colonies scattered in the oceans.”
“Why are you here? I mean. How did you get hurt? Do you know?”
Zhou Mi sighed, adjusting himself in the water, and holding steady with a hand on the rock. It seemed as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Kyuhyun could relate. “The last I remember is a volcano. There had been small explosions before, but it was big. Very big. I don’t know how far I am, or how far that I drifted. Or if anyone else survived.”
“You had family?”
“Only friends. But important ones. But if I survived, maybe others did.”
Everyone he knew, gone. Hurt, alone. He remember the ground rushing toward him, and closed his eyes.
“Then you don’t need anything.”
“No. I can rest here. Thank you. You are cold?”
Was he ever. The rain had begun again, wetting him every moment he crouched there. “Yeah, I need to go. Um. I’ll check on you tomorrow? In the morning? After the sun comes up?”
If Zhou Mi was still there. It wouldn’t take effort to get beyond the barrier and into the open ocean. He almost hoped…
“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, and retreated further down into the water.
He slogged out of the water, his clothes heavy. He even looked back once, to make sure he hadn’t been hallucinating, but Zhou Mi was still against the rock. He wound his way out, toward his door. It was not perhaps as safe as inside with him, but more so than where he had found Zhou Mi.
He was shuddering by the time he got into his bungalow, nose making a run for it. He didn’t even bother showering, running the bath as hot as it would go, even if it hurt at first, and almost burying himself in it. And he reluctantly dressed, having to return the cleaned wheelchair.
It couldn’t be real. He half drowned himself scrubbing his face. It was too ridiculous. Zhou Mi was really in a suit. It was like, a reality TV program. He was secretly being laughed at. Something, anything, made more sense.
He gulped tea, took his pain medication, and slept with dreams of men and scales through the night. He couldn’t be responsible for someone else. He couldn’t even take care of himself. All he wanted was strength. He’d find it. He had to.
***
Kyuhyun woke several times through the night, questioning his sanity, wondering if Zhou Mi was okay. It was just past dawn when he couldn’t stand it any more, leaving his bungalow with a cup of steaming tea, and sauntering toward the gated grotto as though to relax. Not knowing what he was going to find. And at first, he didn’t see anything. And his eyes went to the sea wall, wondering if it was possible that Zhou Mi could it.
A shimmer in the water told him differently. And for the first time, he saw Zhou Mi in the light of day, warily surfacing. Skin tone, not all that different from his, although more wet. Ridges along his wrists, that Kyuhyun could see.
Kyuhyun wasn’t sure what to do for anyone who was injured, much less a species he wasn’t familiar with.
“Good morning,” he said, not knowing what else to say.
“It is a nice morning,” Zhou Mi agreed.
“Um. How’s your…” He had no idea what to call the lower half of Zhou Mi’s body. “How’s the wound?”
“It is still painful. But the sea eases it. I just need…rest.”
It gave Kyuhyun an idea, and he nearly dropped his cup. “Wait here for a moment.”
As though Zhou Mi could do anything else. But he hurried, rummaging in the sacks of supplies he had brought with him. And bringing back with him a source of comfort his mother had once given him when he was hurting. A hot water bottle. And maybe Zhou Mi was used to the cold, but maybe the heat would be soothing. Zhou Mi was still by the edge when he returned, and he tried not to stare down into the water to see the rest of Zhou Mi. But he crouched to get close enough.
“Here, take this,” he urged, holding out the bottle. He’d deliberately not made it too hot, but warm enough that it might be soothing. Still, when Zhou Mi touched it, he jerked back, staring up at Kyuhyun with a wounded expression, as though he were trying to hurt him. “It won’t hurt you. It’s just warm, see? It’ll help calm you.”
He lowered it into the water, and Zhou Mi reached for it again. Carefully taking hold of it, his whole face alert to the sensation of the warmth against his fingers. He cradled it to his chest as though it were spun gold, eyes closing. And slowly, he too sank beneath the water. Slowly but surely, the ripples on the top of the water that marked Zhou Mi’s shivering, faded. He smiled, pleased. And while Zhou Mi communed with the water bottle, he got a chair and a book, setting it not far from the pool’s edge. There was nothing that said just because he had a merman in his pool that he couldn’t relax. Every so often he’d see a few bubbles surface, and he chuckled. The equivalent of a snore, he wondered.
If he’d have found a hurt puppy, he’d have helped it, too.
***
Kyuhyun had left, eaten breakfast, and returned, by the time Zhou Mi resurfaced with the water bottle.
“I’ve heard of warm waters,” Zhou Mi said. “I know there are cousins that live in them. I never felt anything like that. My thanks to you. I rested well.”
“Good.” And Zhou Mi had probably been anxious through the night, so that was probably a really good thing.
“I would greet you in the way of my people,” Zhou Mi said. “Could I please…?”
Kyuhyun was half to his knees to get the cold water bottle, when Zhou Mi urged him closer. And he was frozen as a cool hand urged him down, wet mouth pressing ever so briefly to his.
And he gaped like he had been shot. Zhou Mi had let him go, sinking slightly but smiling as he spoke.
“I greet you, Kyuhyun. I thank you for your help. You are a friend of my people. I will not forget this.”
“I. Er. That’s. That’s how mer…people greet each other? That’s… That’s different than humans do.”
“Oh?” Zhou Mi’s eyes were bright. “Would you show me, so I can greet you, in your way, too?”
He almost said bowing. But there was no way a fish could bow in the water.
“Like this,” he said, and held out his hand, taking Zhou Mi’s and gently squeezing as he shook it. Zhou Mi took that up immediately, squeezing back and pumping with enthusiasm.
“A clasping of hands. And there are words?”
Kyuhyun felt like he was being given an etiquette quiz. “Nice to meet you, Zhou Mi.”
“Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Kyuhyun!”
He smiled despite himself, all kinds of weirdness going on. And circled back to not knowing what Zhou Mi needed to survive. “Do you need water?”
Zhou Mi touched the surface of the water around him with a frown.
“No, I mean fresh water?”
“Oh. No. The fish we eat is close enough to our human-type body that we don’t need it. The salt we take in from other places, we can expel better than humans can.”
“Okay, so fish and seaweed. Anything else? Do you eat fruit or anything?”
“Fruit? That grows on trees? No, I never have.”
“Maybe one day I’ll bring you some to try if it won’t hurt you. I can get you fish, but they might not be really fresh.”
Zhou Mi looked behind him at the ocean, that supplied his needs. But he didn't complain.
“I’ll go get food for you. Just stay hidden, okay?”
“I thank you,” Zhou Mi said solemnly.
Kyuhyun stood, his body stiff. And was almost glad to be able to get away for a while. “Yeah. I’ll be back.”
***
He assumed, anyway, that Zhou Mi would eat about as much as a person of his size. He bought several kinds of fish, dried seaweed. Pretty much anything he could find that looked appropriate. Managing even to throw in food for himself before paying for everything. He hadn’t seen Zhou Mi’s wound, but after sleeping, he seemed better, so with lucky it was healing with whatever Zhou Mi was doing for it.
He hadn’t even gotten the grotto gate closed behind him before Zhou Mi’s head popped up above the water.
“I got what looked best, freshest,” he said, planting himself on the pool edge. The seaweed, the fish, he laid out, peeling off the plastic from the fish and waiting for approval.
Zhou Mi bit his lip, touching it. Then looking up hopefully. “Do you have something to cut with?” And seeing Kyuhyun’s surprise, he smiled. “I have teeth like you. I’m not a shark.”
Kyuhyun laughed. “I’ll get one.”
He ate his cup noodles while Zhou Mi got the fish from its skin, examining the dried seaweed with interest before wetting it in the water and giving it his approval. He wondered how long it had been since Zhou Mi had eaten protein. But it made him feel good to see Zhou Mi demolish the fish, sighing with pleasure as he pressed his cheek to the sandy cement.
“Full?” Kyuhyun asked him. “Or do you need more?”
“I am fine now,” Zhou Mi said. “Kyuhyun, thank you. We are… We are taught to fear humans.”
“Well, you found the one good one,” Kyuhyun joked. “But really, there are others who’d do what I am. I’m not special.”
“I wish there was a way that I could help you.”
“I guess… I had a question? Obviously I didn’t think you were real. So I don’t really know how…your kind came about?”
“Do you remember the origin of your own species? We have legends of course, but that is mostly all they are. All we know is that we exist.”
Kyuhyun knew he existed. He knew where he’d come from. Sometimes, he wished he hadn’t. Sometimes, it’d be better off a mystery.
***
Zhou Mi had an incredible thirst for knowledge, wanting to know more about where they were in the world as he grew stronger day by day. He wasn’t exactly knowledgeable on oceanography, so he couldn’t give Zhou Mi a major landmark list. He wondered if merpeople even had maps. Maybe they wrote on turtle shells or something. Some days he just sat, listening to Zhou Mi speak of their culture, knowing there were researchers who would kill to be in his place. Some, he told Zhou Mi about his. Cars. Planes. TV. Even getting into the water with Zhou Mi a few time, testing a few strokes, and feeling observed as Zhou Mi floated and watched. And Zhou Mi touched, guided him into place as he climbed out, wet and weary. What he could see of Zhou Mi’s wound looked better. He couldn’t see raw places any more, but it seemed Zhou Mi was still being careful in his movements. He could understand that.
But he did show Zhou Mi some ocean maps on his laptop - careful to keep Zhou Mi’s dripping hands away - to varying success. He carted it back up the beach, before going back to sit. The dying sun was warm as he sat in his shorts on the side of the pool, letting his legs dangle in.
“I would know where I am by swimming not far,” Zhou Mi said, sighing. “Thank you for showing me those. The maps. I wish I knew how to read them.”
“So you can find your people again? Somehow?”
“Maybe,” Zhou Mi said, wistful.
Kyuhyun found himself far too used to the sight of Zhou Mi after less than a week. The interesting pallor of his skin, the hair that was a touch too long in places. It was a decidedly human face, which made it all the more strange to him. Though as he contemplated Zhou Mi’s face, basking in the sun, Zhou Mi was distracted by Kyuhyun’s…knees.
He lifted one leg, sort of demonstrating how it worked. Twisting his ankle, waggling his toes.
“It is like you have four arms,” Zhou Mi marveled.
“Er. Sort of. Only two opposable thumbs, though.”
“May I—“ Zhou Mi reached out a hand before snatching it back. “May I touch?”
“Yeah. That’s fine.”
Maybe Zhou Mi’d let him get a hand on the scales he’d felt before, too, one day. He figured he’d be curious, too, if some weirdo with four limbs kept hanging around.
To be honest, Zhou Mi’s hands on him had an affect that he wasn’t really ready to admit. It kind of tickled at first, and then he started thinking of all the ways that it didn’t tickle. The ways it sort of felt good. Sure his family had touched him, before— Before. And then his doctors, but this wasn’t someone touching him with concern or for professional reasons. Zhou Mi’s face was curious and light, observing the way Kyuhyun’s knee bent, the tendons, the kneecap. Tracing along the long muscles of his thigh through his thin shorts. High enough up his thigh, in fact, that his mind started wandering a little. Zhou Mi’s skin was warm and slick, so what would that feel like…?
He yelped when Zhou Mi’s hand landed on his crotch, pushing the hand away from his reluctantly throbbing body.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s outside?” Zhou Mi asked, eyes wide. “Are you… You are wanting to mate?”
“Outside?” He stared at Zhou Mi, or toward the part of Zhou Mi he’d assume sexual organs would be located. There was a dark vertical line, there. Perhaps, everything was inside there. That would make sense. He couldn’t imagine swimming around with sharks or whatever Zhou Mi did routinely with his junk hanging out. He shuddered at the thought. Zhou Mi must have assumed that everyone’s was protected inside. Sometimes he kind of wished that, probably any guy who’d gotten smacked in the nuts had.
“No, it’s always outside,” he explained. “It’s just…outside.”
“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry. I should have asked first.”
He wondered if his eyebrow twitched. How would that question have gone, even. May I grope you to examine your strange human physiology?
“Don’t worry. You didn’t know. I assume you don’t go touching other mer- er, guys?”
“Since there is nothing to touch outside, it isn’t forbidden. If we are playing games, then it’s common to try and stop each other around our bodies, even there. Just as long as hands don’t go… Inside, is not all right. Is it not dangerous to have something so sensitive on the outside of your body? Is it not protected at all?”
“Not really.”
Zhou Mi sort of stared at his crotch while chewing on his lower lip. “That’s very interesting, Kyuhyun. And your kind still continues, even though its reproductive organs are so at risk.”
“Well. I guess we do okay? There clearly wasn’t any natural selection favoring a penis on the inside.”
“Penis? What a strange word. Is that the word for mine as well?”
“I’m a little out of the loop on merman physiology,” he said, voice dry. “I’d guess so, though? It’s pretty general. What do you call it?”
Zhou Mi said some word he couldn’t understand, and seemed to want to continue his exploration of Kyuhyun’s body.
“Um. Everything else looks about the same. I don’t have…webbing, or fins or whatever, but hair, ears… We’ve both got them.”
“Your skin is so warm, warmer than mine, and dry. You would not be comfortable for long periods in the water. You cannot breathe underwater. You are vulnerable.”
It panged at him. He had come here, not to feel vulnerable, but to be empowered. It had been days since he’d even spent time thinking of himself, because it was so much easier to think of Zhou Mi, and his food, and his safety, and that he needed help. And the reminder of his own problems crashed into him.
“You don’t understand.”
He pushed off the protruding rock, into the water so that he could stand. His head ached suddenly, and all he wanted was to lie down. He knew if he did not, the ache would escalate, biting into his skull, his brain until he wanted to scream. Dizzy and sensitive to light, ill. So ill. Hating every minute of it.
One thing he did not question was that Zhou Mi was strong, and the hands that gripped at him were unyielding.
“Vulnerable in this big ocean,” Zhou Mi said softly. He couldn’t begin to describe how it pulled at him, that voice. “All the waters pounding at you, breaking you. You are nothing to the wall of water, but it does not fight you. It wants to hold you. Let it be your cradle, Kyuhyun. Let it take your pain.”
His head dropped onto Zhou Mi’s shoulder as though he were in some sort of trance, soothed. The slide of Zhou Mi’s hands against the skin of his spine, the sway of the water, the quiet croon of Zhou Mi’s voice. He sank willingly into the stupor that Zhou Mi provided.
***
He woke on his back, disconcerted, on the rocks. And though they were smooth, they were no mattress, and his muscles lightly protested as he shifted. He’d been heading back to his room. He blinked hazily up at the stars. Clearly he hadn’t made it.
“Kyuhyun?” Zhou Mi whispered.
He shivered, that sound so close to his ear, and realized that Zhou Mi had pulled himself up onto the rock beside Kyuhyun.
“How are you feeling?”
He hummed. The pain was gone, that much he knew. And beside the discomfort of the rock, he felt calm as well. He realized that his hand was in Zhou Mi’s, and that Zhou Mi was levering himself upright so that he could look at Kyuhyun.
“I’m fine?” he said, like he was surprised that it was true.
“I could feel your pain,” Zhou Mi murmured, pressing the back of Kyuhyun’s hand to his face. “You are stronger than you think.”
“What did you do to me?”
“I spoke in our own language, the language of my people. It is told that it has the ability to calm, to…seduce? Also, to heal.”
“I couldn’t have walked away from you. That’s kind of scary.”
“I will never use it unless to help you,” Zhou Mi promised. “I would never hurt you.”
“Just ask me next time, okay? Humans are pretty big on free will, even if we’re being helped.”
“I understand. Kyuhyun, to see you happy and well is pleasing to me. Like dolphins leaping, or…”
“I get it, I get it,” he protested, laughing. “Thanks for caring.”
The barest tip of Zhou Mi’s finger traced his cheek. “Thank you for caring. It seems you have a special language of your own, because my soul was broken when you found me. And day by day, it grows stronger beside you. I do not think… I do not think it was accident, that you came upon me that day, Kyuhyun.”
“Anyone else, and you’d be in a museum or a zoo by now,” he muttered, his face heating. If Zhou Mi thought of him that way, then who knew. “Don’t you have to be getting back in the water soon?”
“I am fine a little longer. Compared to the cold of the depths, the warmth of you is like holding the sun.”
“Warmth doesn’t keep you wet,” he countered. But Zhou Mi’s skin still seemed moist enough.
“I wish…” Zhou Mi whispered, lowering his head.
It was not the first time he had touched Zhou Mi’s hair, but it didn’t keep him from being surprised again at how silky smooth it was. It wasn’t like he really thought it’d be gunked or slimy, but it was still a surprise. It probably fanned out around Zhou Mi in the water in the right conditions.
“Wish what?” he prodded, catching himself mentally as Zhou Mi leaned into his hand.
“I see you walk up onto the beach, and you leave. And I am stranded here. Just watching you leave.”
“Stranded?” Kyuhyun couldn’t fathom it. Zhou Mi had freedom which was a heck of a lot more than Kyuhyun had. “You have the whole ocean! All of them! You could go anywhere! I’m the one who’s stuck. I’ll never get away from here.”
“What good are all the oceans if you’re alone in them?”
“Zhou Mi…”
He did not shy away when Zhou Mi reached for him. Somehow, he knew how much he needed this. Whenever he started feeling sorry for himself, he thought of what Zhou Mi had lost. Seeing that bright smile, how strong he was. It should’ve been uncomfortable to hug a mostly naked man. Or entirely naked when he thought about it that way. But it wasn’t. Zhou Mi nuzzled close against his neck, his strange, slow breaths moist but faintly warm. He could feel Zhou Mi’s skin, even through it’s protection. Smooth and supple, covering lean but not truly obvious muscles, and strong bones. It was the type of physique, minus the fishy parts, that he would have said he was attracted to. So it was not just Zhou Mi’s face he found appealing, with his striking features. He realized he’d almost been maneuvered into Zhou Mi’s lap, kneeling beside Zhou Mi as they sat together, hugging each other tight.
“You even smell warm,” Zhou Mi murmured. “Like the sun has touched you. All the things that grow on the earth, warm and soft on your skin.”
“You smell like seaweed,” he muttered. And it was true, he did. That kind of salty, vaguely fishy smell he associated with the ocean. And yet, also something sweet, and something darker beyond that. Almost a musk, but not quite. Something he assumed was the smell of Zhou Mi himself, and not just of his surroundings. Intellectually, it should not have comforted him. It should not have, certainly, sent warmth through his blood and interest through his body. Zhou Mi was different, an other from him. Being aroused by him should not have even been possible. But how different was he, really?
He stroked along the soft ridge up Zhou Mi’s spine, both hands tracing the dip of the short fin where it rose above flesh and bone. It gave lightly beneath his fingers, though he was gentle, making sure he wasn’t accidentally hurting Zhou Mi. He was just curious about the soft, giving skin. It seemed to make Zhou Mi more aerodynamic in the water. Or maybe it was just for looks. It seemed like it would be kind of an itchy spot, and he ran his index nails lightly along the base. Zhou Mi shuddered against him, almost violently, clutching at Kyuhyun as though he were about to fall. He had never heard Zhou Mi take such a gulping inhale, not even at the height of his emotional outbursts.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Is it me?”
Zhou Mi shook his head, kneading at Kyuhyun’s side. “You did nothing wrong, Kyuhyun. I’m sorry. It is just, it has been a long time since I have been touched by a lover.”
His fingers froze where they traced Zhou Mi’s spine. “Am I— What I’m doing is sexual?”
Turning Zhou Mi on hadn’t been quite his intentions, no matter what errant thoughts had run through his head about how alike they were.
“Our parents would have soothed our backs when we were very small, but it is sensitive. When one lover holds another, it can be soothing, calming. Because it is so sensitive, it also can be done while performing sexual acts, to arouse. Friends do not…”
Zhou Mi’s voice was hushed as it faded away. He had somehow gotten his nose notched in behind Kyuhyun’s jaw, and his forehead against Kyuhyun’s ear, so it made it harder to hear him. But it didn’t matter, because he understood. He felt sorry that he might have done something to upset Zhou Mi.
“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he said, patting at Zhou Mi’s shoulder blades, where he knew he was on safe ground. He realized that the skin beneath his hands was starting to feel a little tacky instead of smooth. “Should you be back in the water now?”
Without a word, and barely a nod, Zhou Mi pushed himself away and into the water. He disappeared with barely a splash, and Kyuhyun scooted up to the edge to peer down into the inky water. He thought he saw a shimmer, but it was some minutes before Zhou Mi emerged, hair wet and slick and face calm.
It was not until he was in bed that he played back Zhou Mi’s words. For them, the back was sensitive, especially the lower back where the ridge was. And for some reason all the times Zhou Mi had stroked his back played in his head.
***
It was his own mistake. Bringing food for Zhou Mi, day by day. And the promise he’d bring fruit finally occurred to him. He brought a small assortment thinking he wouldn’t have wanted to try just one kind. But he left it, like a housewarming present, when he dropped off Zhou Mi’s dinner. Intending, of course, to get his own dinner. And then to relax in the shower, before going back to check on Zhou Mi one last time.
He was used to sort of having to call for Zhou Mi, and had to blink when he saw Zhou Mi stretched out on the rocks on his stomach, tail flirtily flicking water up over his body as he hummed.
“What are you doing?” Kyuhyun asked as he got closer. “If someone walked this way, well, hello, big honking mermaid stretched out on the rocks.”
“No one would come,” Zhou Mi sighed, rolling halfway to his back. “Everything is fine. You have come, Kyuhyun. All is well.”
“What’s wrong with you?” He glanced at the basket he’d left. The empty basket. “Where’d all the fruit go?”
“Fruit. A funny word,” Zhou Mi said, licking very deliberately over his lips. He squinted thoughtfully. “It was very good, Kyuhyun. I ate one piece, and it made the next look so…tempting.”
Kyuhyun body wondered if that was supposed to be attractive, even as his brain screamed in laughter and disbelief.
“Are you drunk on fruit?” he finally got out.
“Fruit is happiness itself,” Zhou Mi murmured. “I will show you what I mean. I must share this with you, who brought it to me.”
It was a bad idea. He knew that before he waded into the water. No way was he going up on the rocks beside Zhou Mi. At least this way he had an escape from Zhou Mi’s strength. Zhou Mi’s hand closed around his like an iron vice, pulling him closer.
“Kyuhyun. You are… You are.” Kyuhyun’s eyes nearly crossed as Zhou Mi began speaking in his own language. It was like a hand was in his pants, stroking, and he didn’t know how to make it stop. Not because he needed it to. Because of where he was, who he was with. He didn’t just get turned on because of someone’s voice.
“No, I can’t,” he barked out, desperate as his body protested. “Not yet.”
Zhou Mi’s head almost seemed to bobble on his neck as he took in Kyuhyun, silent and inquisitive. He hadn’t actually let Kyuhyun go, holding him there against the rock. He had, though, got a hand down to adjust his pants. In the wet of the water it didn’t feel so bad, but he could still feel that his body had been tempted.
“Too soon, yes, too soon,” he said. “But Kyuhyun… Did you feel it?”
How could he not? Like his blood wasn’t even his own. “Yeah. I felt it.”
“I wanted to make you feel as you made me feel.”
Kyuhyun snorted. “Oh, good. So you’re a horny drunk. I’m glad I know that now.”
“Drunk?”
“What you are right now. Out of your head.”
“I would rather be in your head, Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said, smiling, and teasing Kyuhyun’s fingers.
“Lovely. I’m sure. Does that voice turn on all the other merpeople, or is just humans?”
“Some do hear it. Some do. There are different tones and vibrations, so some hear one person and not another. It is how mating is determined, so a mate can be pleasured the most.”
“Well, clearly I can hear you just fine.”
“And I, you, Kyuhyun. Your moans make it impossible to breathe…”
He swallowed convulsively as Zhou Mi touched his throat.
“I have never felt this…intoxication before,” Zhou Mi said, breath puffing against Kyuhyun’s face. He kept his eyes firmly on Zhou Mi’s ear so as not to encourage anything. Anything like, say, Zhou Mi’s lips drifting too close to his.
He waited for the long, delayed inhale. And when it came, it was more rattly than he expected. Zhou Mi’s eyes were closed, and his hand was sagging. And the merman had just sunk into an intoxicated stupor.
“When you get drunk, you get drunk,” he said appreciatively, easing Zhou Mi onto his back and letting his head down gently. “But you weigh a damned ton, so what am I supposed to do with you?”
With some chagrin, he retrieved the blanket he kept above the tide line, soaking it in the seawater. At least, if he could keep Zhou Mi covered it wetness, he wouldn’t dry out while he slept off his little experience. It was better than pushing him into the water. Even if Zhou Mi could breathe there, Kyuhyun couldn’t, and knowing his luck, he’d lose Zhou Mi under the water. It made sense. Using a big empty bowl he got, once Zhou Mi wasn’t exposed any more, he poured water over the blanket, Zhou Mi’s shoulders, his neck and head. Any other person would’ve thought they were drowning, but Zhou Mi just slept right on through, his hands all cutely curled. He ran down the straight nose with his fingertip. It wasn’t like it was just because Zhou Mi had made him want to come in his pants that he was so taken with him. They hadn’t even kissed properly yet. He let his thumb trace the full lower lip. Yet.
But then again, Zhou Mi might be seeing him as someone completely weird and foreign. Someone to be grateful to, and depend on. But it wasn’t like he could spend his life at the oceanside, tending to Zhou Mi, much less more. He’d been so afraid to try again, to live again, and he’d found someone who made him feel strong enough to take a chance. And he wasn’t even human. There was no tank big enough, that he could take Zhou Mi home with him, if Zhou Mi would even want to go. There was no way even someone like Zhou Mi would want to give up their freedom. And if Zhou Mi thought of him, wanting to pleasure him, there was no guarantee it was personal. But then again, who knew if Zhou Mi was that altruistic. He didn’t think so. He hoped not, anyway. Sighing, he leaned across and started the process again of wetting the blanket, and Zhou Mi’s skin. Watching Zhou Mi’s hair wash around a bit in the little eddy he created.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” he admitted out loud, and did not feel better for it.
***
Zhou Mi sulked, if Kyuhyun wanted to put a fine point on it, for almost a day after his little drunken episode. Though Kyuhyun assumed, also, he was recovering. If people got hangovers, maybe mermen did, too. It was hard not to feel kind of guilty, since it was partially his fault for bringing Zhou Mi the fruit. But there was no merman food chain guidebook. And since Zhou Mi wouldn’t respond, all he could do was pull up a chair and relax, doing some handheld gaming and watching as Zhou Mi floated around under the water. There were plenty of books and movies that talked about humans getting all hot and bothered by other -humanoid - species. He’d kind of rolled his eyes, as though that was just some kind of crazy talk. Had it really been Zhou Mi’s voice that had turned him on? It had helped, but if he hadn’t wanted at all, he had no idea if it would have worked. When Zhou Mi hung off the edge of the pool, it was like seeing a mostly normal man there. Swimmer’s shoulders, and long fingers, and an engaging smile. Even if his nose and cheeks were perpetually dripping because of his hair.
There was a certain amount of charm in that face. When he wasn’t worried, or longing. The ocean called to him, and Kyuhyun realized that. But it was only a matter of time before he was healed. Less time than either of them thought, probably.
Zhou Mi emerged before the sun went down, water streaming off of his face as he looked at Kyuhyun with sorrowful eyes.
“I will accept any punishment,” Zhou Mi said softly.
Kyuhyun’s brain balked. “Uh. For what?”
“For my behavior. For… Denying your will. For speaking to you, as I would have a lover.”
Kyuhyun kicked aside his flip flops, and groaned as he lowered to the pool edge.
“You didn’t deny me. You stopped when I asked you to. And you were out of your head. That’s my fault. So you don’t have to apologize.”
“Kyuhyun—“
“No. Don’t feel guilty. You were the funniest drunk I ever saw.”
Zhou Mi’s mouth bowed almost into a pout. “There was humor in it?”
“Sure. It was cute.”
A little over the top, but mostly cute. Zhou Mi clearly couldn’t even do drunk normally. But there was relief on Zhou Mi’s face, and he smiled. So a hangover, and feeling guilty for something he hadn’t been responsible for.
“You are alone here. Do you miss your family?” Zhou Mi asked, searching his face.
The fire. The impact.
The pain.
“I don’t have— We’re alike,” Kyuhyun said, the words hard to come by. “We’re alone.”
Eventually his time for rehabilitation would run out as well. He’d leave, not long after Zhou Mi would. To go back to… To something. He just didn’t know what, yet.
And the pain he felt was far from physical, but the tension was there, waiting. To relive the headaches, the searing aches in his limbs. He pushed into the water, sinking nearly to his chest before stopping. Zhou Mi came near, but not near enough to touch.
“You said you could take away pain,” Kyuhyun said, extending a hand.
“Oh. Kyuhyun. I will try. With every bit of me, I will try.”
Though the water was cool, Zhou Mi’s body was warmer in it. Head against his as Zhou Mi steadied them. And Zhou Mi spoke, words he could not fathom. It did not turn him on, but it soothed the bright and blazing spot inside him. And the tears, not many of them fell. He was as secure, as whole and unbroken, right there in the arms of a man who wasn’t, as he had been in months. But his consciousness was his to keep, Zhou Mi’s touch and hold light, keeping Kyuhyun well above water. There were things that he could not understand. Things beyond him. All he knew was that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to stay there, right there, for as long as he was able. And his heart was calm as he drew back, staring at Zhou Mi’s chin. His hands slid from Zhou Mi’s shoulders, to his sides. To his lower back, where the ridge of skin traced Zhou Mi’s spine. The place touched only by a lover. He did not rub, intending not to arouse. Only to touch. And his eyes rose, asking a question without words.
Zhou Mi jerked him closer, name expelled against his cheek.
And they drifted together in the pool, fingers dipping lower down Kyuhyun’s back. And he knew Zhou Mi had understood.
***
“I need to know,” Zhou Mi said. And Kyuhyun’s heart was cracking. Needed to know if he was capable of swimming. Of going back to the ocean for good.
The little grotto that Zhou Mi called his protection, could also give him his freedom. The sea wall that spilled water at high tide, if Zhou Mi could reach the top of it, he could pull himself into the ocean. And return the same way, even if it was risky. If he returned at all.
Kyuhyun became an engineer again. Purchasing rope, and creating almost a pulley. It was expensive, buying the crank, and hard and laborious work. But Zhou Mi holding on, and the pulley anchored, Kyuhyun could lift him until Zhou Mi could reach the sea wall edge. There was no other way. And he could hardly take Zhou Mi down the beach in the light of day. Even then, it was at night. Taking no chances.
The wound was now only a darker patch among Zhou Mi’s scales, as Kyuhyun panted against the side of the wall. The ledge there was hardly wide enough for him to stand, but he couldn’t go back before catching his breath. Zhou Mi seemed…amazed. So amazed to be sitting on that wall, the ocean only feet below him, and frothing.
“Will you swim with me?” Zhou Mi asked. And the hands that tugged at his arm were warm.
No matter how strong he felt, the water was cold, and he had not swam in years.
“I don’t know if I can make it that far,” he said honestly. “I’m not strong enough, and the ocean is rough.”
“I will swim for you. I was hurt, but I can help you. Please, Kyuhyun. Trust me.”
He hoped that Zhou Mi’s head hadn’t been damaged when he was hurt. His locked knees gave, and he climbed onto the sea wall. Zhou Mi went first, sinking into the rising tide for a moment before surfacing. Kyuhyun kept his eyes on the waves, not wanting to be crushed. The breakwater took care of most of it. Most of the time. Something swished around his legs, and he realized that Zhou Mi wanted him to hold onto his shoulders, and straddle his back.
In essence…riding him.
“I’ll be too heavy,” he protested, almost stammering.
“Trust me.”
Something about Zhou Mi’s voice, and the way he said it, made all his protests fade. He sighed and did as Zhou Mi asked, letting go of the wall, yelping and giving in, wrapping both arms around Zhou Mi’s neck, as Zhou Mi powered them into the water with a swift swish of his tail. Tail. He was insane. He really was. He was going to wake up from the idiotic dream and just be sane again. Of course, he realized the further he got down, the more water he was eating. Zhou Mi had said to trust him, and though the body beneath him was moving, he was stable. Moving with the current and the waves, and not against it. There were shelves of the rock that extended out. He squeezed Zhou Mi’s shoulders, seeing a place there the rocks had fallen, making an almost sheltered cove along an abandoned stretch of beach. He tried to be very still, as Zhou Mi picked through the rocks. And kind of wondered how he was getting out of here. If there was even a way to get out by land. He had no food, or water. No dry clothes. And he was already cold.
And stiff, as he stumbled off of Zhou Mi, leaning against the shelf of a rock and trying to gather himself. In the water was definitely warmer than out, that was for certain. Or it felt that way anyway.
“That was wonderful,” Zhou Mi enthused, rolling onto his back and nearly wiggling in the water. “I had forgotten what it felt like to be free.”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said, lips trembling slightly with the cold. He’d been on a merman’s back, zooming around in the water like he was some kind of fish. “It was fun. How do you feel?”
“Wonderful,” Zhou Mi said, beaming. And Kyuhyun was glad. He was sure that was the emotion. Glad. Yes. Glad as he sat, and watched as Zhou Mi raced himself in the water, leaping up like a breaching whale once, and showering Kyuhyun with water. And when he’d had his fun, he returned to Kyuhyun. Staring at the way Kyuhyun hugged his legs. “Oh, Kyuhyun, you are cold. I will take you back. I could stay out here—“
Forever. Yeah, Kyuhyun knew that.
Knew it, even as he got his arms back around Zhou Mi, as Zhou Mi took them back. Zhou Mi steadying him onto the sea wall, as Kyuhyun carefully crept to the ledge he could stand on.
“You staying out a while longer?” he asked.
“Just a little while,” Zhou Mi promised. “Don’t wait for me. Go be warm.”
Kyuhyun didn’t wait. He sat, numb, in the shower instead. The first step again, to being alone. One he had stupidly not prepared himself for. It had come too fast.
But as he felt sorry for himself, anguished for himself…
Someone else was seeing more than they should have.
***
Fifteen feet.
Ten.
Five.
Kyuhyun’s hand paused at the edge of the gate. Unlatched. He knew he’d locked it. He double, triple checked. Some nights going back to check once more before bed. The grotto’s privacy was not only a personal requirement, but the key, the absolute key to Zhou Mi’s safety.
Voices.
He pivoted, ready to run right then. Flee. Save himself.
Zhou Mi, who floated with him, stroked his back. Who calmed him. Who healed him more than years in the bungalow would have done—
Zhou Mi didn’t have that option. Kyuhyun had put him where he didn’t have that option.
He’d pushed through the gate, two men at the edge of the pool. One with a camera, the other a video recorder.
“Hey! This is a private area! Get out of here!”
He couldn’t see Zhou Mi, but he knew Zhou Mi was still in there. The men wouldn’t have still been there if he hadn’t. He knew that.
“Is that a merman?” the guy with the camera said. “Did you find him? We got a call—“
Reporters. Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get out.”
“Did you—“
“Get out!”
When they would not move he yanked, and pushed. Tried to grab for their cameras as they kept shooting questions. Maneuvering them toward the gate as he tried not to hyperventilate.
“Get out. I’ll call the police. Get out!” he shouted, and shoved them the rest of the way.
He locked the grotto gates from the inside, racing for the pool.
“They’re going to get out over the wall? Where can we get a boat?!” he heard as he splashed in feet-first.
Zhou Mi, huddling the farthest he could go, surfaced immediately.
“Did they see you?” he demanded.
“I don’t know. I hid as soon as I saw it wasn’t you. I don’t know how they could know.”
“Maybe someone saw you swimming. Maybe…Shit. They’re going to find someone and break in here again. This isn’t safe. And they’re getting a boat. You have to go. You’re well enough to go.”
“But Kyuhyun—“
“Grab the rope.”
He had never worked the pulley so fast in his life, his arms screaming as he watched Zhou Mi lift inch by precious inch. Straining for the top of the wall, where he could get to freedom. Zhou Mi was panting too, eyes frightened as he got himself onto the wall.
“Go, fast,” Kyuhyun hissed.
Last time they’d see each other. Almost certainly. He didn’t live on the beach. Zhou Mi didn’t live on land.
“Come with me,” Zhou Mi implored, stretching out a desperate hand. “I’ll take care of you. Please come.”
“I can’t live in the ocean.”
“Is that all that’s left for us, to be alone?” And Zhou Mi’s eyes were so sad. “You told me there was no one left for you here. But you could be with me!”
“There’s no way that’s possible.”
“There is,” Zhou Mi insisted. “Trust me. Come with me. I promise. Please.”
Every second they wasted— He knew Zhou Mi could carry him. Even if he got put on a beach a few miles away, they couldn’t have this conversation now. Zhou Mi was right. There was no one waiting for him. But he didn’t know what waited for him with Zhou Mi.
He made the leap of faith.
Water churning around him as the water drew back. Unable to hear, even as Zhou Mi dragged him close. Gasping for air as water hit him in the face, but unwilling to slow Zhou Mi’s progress. First, to the open ocean. And the abrupt right angle to follow the curve of the land. He didn’t know how long Zhou Mi swam, only that Zhou Mi was the only thing holding him on his back. He was losing feeling in his fingers, his legs. Exhausted, frightened, anxious out of his mind. They must have gone miles, and Zhou Mi was almost keening as he breathed. Weak, from lack of exercise.
“I can’t do this,” he muttered into Zhou Mi’s neck. “I’ll die. The water— You couldn’t— Zhou Mi.”
Zhou Mi turned, carefully, so that Kyuhyun was on his stomach instead of his back. So they could be face to face.
“There is a pearl,” Zhou Mi began. “Though we all know of them, they are never spoken of, except between the closest to us.”
“And it’s a magic pearl, that will make me breathe under water?” Kyuhyun cracked.
“No. It’s part of my soul. When a child is born, they are given a part of our soul. But to a human, they say it is different. You would become like me.”
“You’ll look for your people,” he said.
“And I want to find them. With you by my side.”
“Zhou Mi.”
“You would be more precious to me than my own wellbeing. And the soul is infinite. And my love…” Zhou Mi smiled, his fingers electric on Kyuhyun’s back. “Grows with it.”
Let it be your cradle, Kyuhyun. Let it take your pain.
He had nothing left for him on land, but hurt, and pain. Maybe he was running away. Maybe he was turning his back on reality. But he was also choosing the possibility of happiness. It was foreign to him. He never thought he’d have that option. And the ocean, it wasn’t his choice. Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi who touched him as a lover would. Zhou Mi was his choice. Unknown. Adventure.
The pearl was blue black, and small. He swallowed it with ease, his frigid hands being held by Zhou Mi’s.
All that he left behind were clothes floating on the water, abandoned belongings in a seaside bungalow. And reporters that were accused of trying to create a hoax.
They had so much to look for and do. But he was never lost, as long as he kept sight of Zhou Mi’s fin in the infinite ocean around them.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's life was derailed, and he was drifting. But what washed up on the beach wasn't a fairy tale or a myth. To save Zhou Mi, he had to take control - of himself. Of his future.
A/N: The reasons betas exist. XD This is a lot more readable after
wobaozhewo got into it. \o/// Questions, what questions? >.> <3<3 Thanks as always~ :) :) <3<3***
There was something calming about walking on the beach alone. Perhaps it was because of the give of the sand under his feet as he moved from the drier upper sand to the wet. A hell of a lot different than sidewalks to air conditioned stores, escalators, subways. If Kyuhyun looked back he could’ve seen the impressions he'd made, the push of the ball of his foot, the deliberate dig of his toes. He wanted to leave his mark there. The unexpected summer storm had chased everyone away, and he wasn’t sad about that. All he saw was some child’s abandoned toy near a half-demolished sand castle, and a stretch of emptiness heading up to the cliffs. So he didn't mind the drops of water that occasionally cooled his skin. It was what he’d come for.
He neared the rocks that jutted out at one part of the beach. Worn smooth from many waves, it was a perfect place to sit and contemplate, watching the water run up around the rocks toward the shore. A nice place to play for a child. He’d seen some using it as sort of a ship the day he’d arrived. But he liked to sit and think there. And as long as he didn’t stop paying attention to the tide, he and his little snack were fine.
He tried all the breathing techniques he'd been taught to calm himself, letting his anxiety exhale through him, taking cleansing breaths. The gray and white swirl of the sky above him, and the gray-green swirl of the ocean beneath him. He let the sounds become part of himself, and for once didn't feel the tears threaten in the back of his throat. How long had it been since he'd driven? Not long enough. He thought of his little car, his apartment, his TV. He didn’t miss them. It was a surprise because those were the only normal things he had left. But he never wanted to see them again, even if he knew he had to.
That was when he saw the floating log. Too big to be a lump of seaweed, and at first, too strangely colored. If a log was floating up, he’d stayed too long with the tide, he thought, staring behind him. But there was not much water staying between him and the sand yet. He relaxed and was content to watch the log float closer with every movement of the waves, forward and back, and forward a little more. He stared in denial for quite a while, seeing what he’d thought was a branch look more and more like an arm.
And then as the water roiled, he saw an ear. And what he’d thought was bark, but looked like hair. A naked torso, tangled in seaweed, which was what had confused him. Light like a drifting log might be. He was on his knees in an instant, staring in horror, daring the man to move. There couldn't be a body, not on this beach, not him. But a minute passed and there was no movement except what the waves caused. And he’d been sitting for at least ten minutes watching him come in. That had to mean he was dead. There wasn’t any way a human could survive that long in the water, even in the cold.
His instinct was to run. Find someone else, get someone to help get the man out. A whole crowd of someones, half of which would probably be taking videos with their phones. Someone would be missing him, and he couldn’t just be allowed to go back out to sea. The body had knocked against the rock he was sitting on while he froze in his indecision, rocking against the solid stone with the waves. Maybe he could just get it up on shore. It, not him. It was so much less personal. He could run to get someone, and say a person had washed up. That was it. Then he’d go back to his bungalow, take a hot shower, and pretend he’d never left.
The cold of the water was a little bit of a shock as he slipped off the side of the rock. The water was up to his knees, soaking into his pants even though he'd tied them up. He reached for the floating arm, steeling himself for the cold, clammy feel his mind told him to expect.
But the arm his hand closed around was supple, not frozen death. And most of all, below the chill of the water, the skin was warm. Not radiating warmth, but definitely warmer than the water. He gaped. There wasn’t any way the man could be alive. He backed up, tugging the man along until he could get a hand around his other arm. It wasn’t far, but the weight was a lot, even with the help of the water, especially once they got onto the sand. Barely above the edge of the water, he stopped, exhausted, dropping to his knees. The man was on his back, pale and still, and Kyuhyun felt the still neck. Sluggish, but there was a heartbeat. And as water flowed below them, he watched the man draw a slow breath.
And a stupid happy smile broke over his face. He wasn’t dead! He actually laughed as he sat there, all strength in his legs totally gone. Somehow the man had found a way to keep breathing. Somehow. Still, he might be injured. They could get an ambulance, no problem. Kyuhyun took a mental inventory, though the man’s chest was bare and scraped, he looked okay. And what he'd thought were pants, were…
At first, he thought it might be nylons. The way the man’s flesh darkened. But the transition was all skin. And then…scales. He blinked. It wasn’t every day he met a man trying to be The Little Mermaid. At least, that was what his mind told him, until he realized he couldn't move the costume. And where the man’s thigh would be, was a gash, as long as his hand. Cutting through both scale and down to expose what was underneath. It was frighteningly obvious that it was no costume. The water began its slide back out, revealing dark scales, and a wide, greenish, almost translucent fin that fluttered in the water. He reached for the man’s hip, not accepting it. No amount of gripping or pinching dislodged the scales for his disbelieving mind. And he jerked as the man moaned.
No, not man.
He’d come to the beach to find peace in his mind, and to heal his body.
And he’d found…a merman?
***
Being rational wasn’t his first thought. It wasn’t possible, was all that was going through his head.
Also, why him.
He would be the one to have psychotic breaks like these, or find some kind of guy in a really realistic suit. But if it was for a movie, it was even more realistic than he imagined. He could smell the wound, see the indentions in the skin of the man, where he bled. Even for his imagination, that was too much. Nothing like this existed in the real world. He was utterly sure of that. It wasn’t like he’d seen any unicorns lately.
He just knew that he didn't have the expertise needed to do what had to be done. Help was needed, for the wounds, to take care of him. Kyuhyun couldn’t do that on his own. He just needed someone else. He didn’t want it, couldn’t do it. Especially not seeing the panicked fingers scrabbling at the sand.
He stood with a stagger. And sprinted up the beach as fast as he could, feeling the sand push behind him, almost stumbling when he pushed away too hard.
He froze on the edge of the sand, where the roots of the grass hung down, edging into the beach. The dark eyes opening, the soft moan. Frightened. Asking for help. Asking him for help. If he went, called the authorities. The police would come. Maybe the military. Researchers. It’d be huge news, really. If it was real, and it wasn’t some kind of hoax, people would go crazy. Some kind of mythical, fairy tale creature washing up on a deserted beach.
If people knew that Kyuhyun was the one who found him, then they’d want to talk to him, hear his story. What he saw, what he did. They’d want to give him all sorts of interviews and in general get in his face. And then every time they showed a picture of the merman or whatever in a tank or being poked at, he would know that he was the one who put him there. Even after they found out it was some kind of genetic thing or something, and not really some kind of legend. And if he was too pathetic, Kyuhyun would be forced to go all Free Willy on where he was kept.
So the big question was whether he could live out the rest of his life knowing something like that, without telling someone. He turned back the beach in time for the scales on the bottom half of the creature’s body to be exposed again, the fin. The merman’s hands moving and grasping at the sand. Maybe he didn’t even speak. Maybe he was just some one-off thing, some kind of genetic accident.
But there had been confusion and pain in his eyes.
So he could take the high road. Or he could just say it wasn’t his problem. Leave the beach, not tell anyone. Let someone else take care of it. By the time someone came, he didn’t know what would happen. The tide would rise. Maybe he’d just get washed out, back beyond the breakwater. And being hurt, Kyuhyun had no idea what kind of chance he had then.
The arm on the sand jerked as he came back into view. Dark eyes looking at him like he was some kind of wolf or something.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. Probably he wasn’t understood, but maybe the sound of a comforting voice would help. “You’re on the beach, and it looks like you were hurt, but you’ll be okay, okay?”
The man nodded at him, making a sort of pitiful sound. He looked like a man, no matter how many fins or scales he had below. It sounded better and way less freaky in his head. But he wasn’t just a human man. And no use of a word was going to change that, even if he would’ve liked it to. A merman. A merman who needed his help, that was some kind of ocean-dwelling creature. Aquatic things needed to stay in the water, but the merman was hurt. But salt water healed, he knew that.
“I don’t know what to do for you,” Kyuhyun said, crouching down. “How do I help you?”
He clasped his hands around the one that reached for him, hoping that was going to be comforting, too. It was sandy and a little cool, but it felt strong. That was good.
“Help me back to the water. Please.”
He gaped, brain straining to catch up to what he had just heard. Not only had the merman heard him, understood him, but talked back. He was sure he looked like an idiot, mouth moving, trying not to say something obvious and stupid as he wrapped his brain around what almost seemed impossible. A whole stack of impossibles. Including the request. He wasn’t any doctor or anything, but the wounds he saw seemed pretty bad. Bad enough that Kyuhyun didn’t think it’d be a good idea to just send him out. The merman had been unconscious, to add to that. If he fell unconscious again, who knew what’d happen. Sharks, or anything could get at him.
He stared at the hand in his. It was cool, warmish, and almost slick. He’d been hopping around the guy, running away, coming back. It was no wonder he’d be freaked out, especially waking up on a beach somewhere. And he hadn’t settled in his mind just how the merman was real exactly, he just knew any rational person would be concerned. He squeezed the hand in his to break through the panic and inattention. “No, you can’t go back in the water. Look. Look at me.”
He waited until the dark eyes focused on his, and with a twist in his gut, finalized his decision. He had come to recover, and somehow stumbled across someone that needed help more than he did.
“You’re hurt, okay? You need to heal. If you go back out there, you could die, or get eaten or something. Let me help you. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He didn’t know how he could assure the merman that he was telling the truth. All he could do was squeeze the trembling hand, and try to smile.
“Safe?”
“I’ll keep you safe,” he promised. Hoped he could keep that promise. He’d do everything he could.
The merman wanted to believe, was the feeling that Kyuhyun got. It’d take a while for either of them to be sure. The merman smiled, tentative, the wide mouth and strong bones shifting from pain to something else.
“Thank you,” the merman said. And Kyuhyun’s life shifted, right then and there.
***
“What happened? How did I get here?” the merman asked, trying feel for his own injuries.
“It looks like you slammed into the breakwater. You washed up on the beach just a while ago, and I got you up this far. But look, you can’t stay here. If people saw you, it could get bad.”
The merman’s eyes were almost heartbreakingly confused. “I don’t know where I am.”
“You’re in Korea. If that helps. Do you know who you are?” Or maybe even what.
The merman stared at their still-joined hands for a moment before looking up. “My name is Zhou Mi.”
“I’m Kyuhyun. Can you swim, or..?”
Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he was holding Zhou Mi’s hand in his dream, watching him touch the wound on his tail. Maybe it was a tail. Whatever merpeople or whatever Zhou Mi was, had. It looked like it hurt though, red and raw. No small wound.
“I am able, I believe,” Zhou Mi said. “But how far? If here is not safe, where?”
He frowned, staring at the scales at Zhou Mi’s hip. He thought of his rambles up and down the beach, to the cliffs and beyond. Beyond the cliffs was private land, no hotels or tourist locations. But getting Zhou Mi there was impossible with him injured as he was. If it was a small distance to swim, maybe. But Kyuhyun didn’t have the kind of strength to swim and tow him there. They just needed a place for him to heal. And Kyuhyun would have a chance to think all of it through. He still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a dream.
“If you can get to the cliffs… they aren’t wide, and there might be less people beyond them. Some place safer for you?”
He had to leap to his feet as the water rushed in to keep from getting knocked over. Zhou Mi just accepted it, and let the water rush over him. Fifteen minutes before he’d been feeling too weak even to stand, and now he felt strong as an ox.
“Come on,” he said, twisting his hand in Zhou Mi’s and reaching for the other. He could tow Zhou Mi out as far as he could stand, which would hopefully give him a better chance. He thought his plan would work, right up to the point where Zhou Mi cried out. He could almost see the wound ooze into the water.
“Sorry. Sorry.” Okay. So swimming wasn’t going to happen. He stared at the wound, wracking his brain. What he would want, if he were trying to help someone who’d fallen, someone who couldn’t walk.
“A wheelchair!” he almost shouted, startling Zhou Mi. “Can you hold yourself here? You won’t go floating off?”
Zhou Mi nodded. “But if someone…”
“Just be quiet and you’ll be fine. You shouldn’t attract attention. I’ll be right back!”
He knew the little hotel kept a wheelchair for the older visitors. If he could get Zhou Mi into it, he wasn’t sure what he could do. The only option was to wheel him to the other side of the cliffs. He asked himself, as he huffed and puffed up to the hotel, why he was doing it. If it had just been a person, he’d have gone for help. Gotten help. But there was no one around that he trusted besides himself. But he had time for feeling sorry for himself later.
He sweet talked the wheelchair from the front desk girl with a lot of awkward stuttering and trying to throw in a smile or two. His grandma or someone needed it and he’d bring it back as soon as he could. Please.
On a brain wave, he stopped at his bungalow, getting a blanket. At least something to cover Zhou Mi with on the way, obscure his fin. If it was some kind of movie, if he just got one thing accomplished, he could wake up, or watch the credits. Something.
Because it was empty, the wheelchair skidded along over the sand without much problem. Getting Zhou Mi into it might be a different matter, since he had no idea how much Zhou Mi weighed. His biggest relief, the thing that had kept riding the back of his mind, was that Zhou Mi was still there. And still breathing.
“Can you sit up?” he asked Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi’s skin was kind of clammy when Kyuhyun helped him, sandy, and though he knew that must’ve hurt, he knew getting into the chair was going to hurt worse. But with Zhou Mi sitting, he was able to park the chair closer. “You see this chair? I need to get you into it. To get you to the sheltered place. To the safe place.”
How much strength Zhou Mi had left, with maybe a concussion and wounds, he didn’t know. But they had to try. He’d try until he couldn’t.
“Just hang onto me, when you’re ready.”
Zhou Mi’s arms came up around his neck. “Yes, I am ready.”
“Okay… Now.”
He pulled up with as much strength as he had, heart stopping as Zhou Mi’s skin slipped under his arms for a moment, before steadying. It felt like he was trying to lift a dolphin, and the image almost caused him to giggle. And though it hurt, Zhou Mi helped, giving the final push that got part of his body into the seat, and then more. Neither of them let go for several minutes, just breathing, Zhou Mi whimpering a little. He looked first at the wound, which hadn’t started bleeding or anything in the process, which was good. But Zhou Mi’s eyes were closed as he fought the pain. He got the blanket, spreading it over Zhou Mi and tucking it under him. It was a little better than nothing.
“You have to hold on,” Kyuhyun rasped. “I’m going to tilt the chair so you don’t just slide out, but you still need to hold on.”
Zhou Mi nodded. “I understand.”
He waited until Zhou Mi gripped the armrests, and gently tilted back the chair. He figured the big wheels had a better chance of going easy over the sand. It was not such a long walk toward his bungalow, and the little walled grotto beyond it. As long as Zhou Mi stayed in the chair, as long as they got there okay, he could take care of it. The grotto was a sea-fed pool, fairly shallow. It was supposed to help him relax, sheltered from any inquiring eyes. Beyond the barrier of it, the ocean itself, at high tides, spilling into the pool itself.
“I have a mermaid - man - in a wheelchair and I’m taking him to my private pool. No, this is totally normal,” he muttered under his breath. And the going was hard, pushing it through, up the sand. He was lucky there was a ramp going up, or he’d have been in trouble, needing to drag it over the shelf of the land. He could imagine accidentally dumping Zhou Mi right out.
The entrance to the grotto was not wide, meant to be private, and his arms were trembling by the time he got the tilted chair inside it. Letting it down very carefully at the shallowest edge of the pool.
Zhou Mi was reaching for the water before he even got around the chair. “Hey, hold up. Let me help.”
The skin that had been moist and smooth before was tacky under his hands. Like he was drying out with every minute spent in the air.
“Need the water,” Zhou Mi said.
He eased Zhou Mi to the ground first, clambering into the pool with its sandy edge first. Zhou Mi’s slick scales helped them, sliding down into the sand and water. He ignored the ridges he felt along the outside of Zhou Mi’s wrists, and just kept pulling.
“Okay,” Zhou Mi gasped, and disappeared beneath the water.
He stood like an idiot, wondering if he should be concerned as Zhou Mi disappeared from in front of him. Zhou Mi surfaced to his left, face streaming.
“It is safe in this place?”
“It’s the safest place I know. I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but… I’d just want you to get better, okay? Do you need food or anything? Something for your wound?”
“No,” Zhou Mi said, touching the seaweed they had dragged along with them. “I am fine for now. The water and rest will heal me.”
And that got them back to the nitty gritty details of it all.
“What are you?” he asked, still breathing hard.
Zhou Mi’s face was curious, as though he didn't expect to be asked that question. “Humans call us merfolk. I am a male of my species. We are taught that you know of us? Or… Perhaps you think we are not real?”
“Not real, yeah. Like, I feel like I hit my head or something.”
“It is best that humans think that, or they might look for us. There are not many of us left. Several colonies scattered in the oceans.”
“Why are you here? I mean. How did you get hurt? Do you know?”
Zhou Mi sighed, adjusting himself in the water, and holding steady with a hand on the rock. It seemed as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Kyuhyun could relate. “The last I remember is a volcano. There had been small explosions before, but it was big. Very big. I don’t know how far I am, or how far that I drifted. Or if anyone else survived.”
“You had family?”
“Only friends. But important ones. But if I survived, maybe others did.”
Everyone he knew, gone. Hurt, alone. He remember the ground rushing toward him, and closed his eyes.
“Then you don’t need anything.”
“No. I can rest here. Thank you. You are cold?”
Was he ever. The rain had begun again, wetting him every moment he crouched there. “Yeah, I need to go. Um. I’ll check on you tomorrow? In the morning? After the sun comes up?”
If Zhou Mi was still there. It wouldn’t take effort to get beyond the barrier and into the open ocean. He almost hoped…
“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, and retreated further down into the water.
He slogged out of the water, his clothes heavy. He even looked back once, to make sure he hadn’t been hallucinating, but Zhou Mi was still against the rock. He wound his way out, toward his door. It was not perhaps as safe as inside with him, but more so than where he had found Zhou Mi.
He was shuddering by the time he got into his bungalow, nose making a run for it. He didn’t even bother showering, running the bath as hot as it would go, even if it hurt at first, and almost burying himself in it. And he reluctantly dressed, having to return the cleaned wheelchair.
It couldn’t be real. He half drowned himself scrubbing his face. It was too ridiculous. Zhou Mi was really in a suit. It was like, a reality TV program. He was secretly being laughed at. Something, anything, made more sense.
He gulped tea, took his pain medication, and slept with dreams of men and scales through the night. He couldn’t be responsible for someone else. He couldn’t even take care of himself. All he wanted was strength. He’d find it. He had to.
***
Kyuhyun woke several times through the night, questioning his sanity, wondering if Zhou Mi was okay. It was just past dawn when he couldn’t stand it any more, leaving his bungalow with a cup of steaming tea, and sauntering toward the gated grotto as though to relax. Not knowing what he was going to find. And at first, he didn’t see anything. And his eyes went to the sea wall, wondering if it was possible that Zhou Mi could it.
A shimmer in the water told him differently. And for the first time, he saw Zhou Mi in the light of day, warily surfacing. Skin tone, not all that different from his, although more wet. Ridges along his wrists, that Kyuhyun could see.
Kyuhyun wasn’t sure what to do for anyone who was injured, much less a species he wasn’t familiar with.
“Good morning,” he said, not knowing what else to say.
“It is a nice morning,” Zhou Mi agreed.
“Um. How’s your…” He had no idea what to call the lower half of Zhou Mi’s body. “How’s the wound?”
“It is still painful. But the sea eases it. I just need…rest.”
It gave Kyuhyun an idea, and he nearly dropped his cup. “Wait here for a moment.”
As though Zhou Mi could do anything else. But he hurried, rummaging in the sacks of supplies he had brought with him. And bringing back with him a source of comfort his mother had once given him when he was hurting. A hot water bottle. And maybe Zhou Mi was used to the cold, but maybe the heat would be soothing. Zhou Mi was still by the edge when he returned, and he tried not to stare down into the water to see the rest of Zhou Mi. But he crouched to get close enough.
“Here, take this,” he urged, holding out the bottle. He’d deliberately not made it too hot, but warm enough that it might be soothing. Still, when Zhou Mi touched it, he jerked back, staring up at Kyuhyun with a wounded expression, as though he were trying to hurt him. “It won’t hurt you. It’s just warm, see? It’ll help calm you.”
He lowered it into the water, and Zhou Mi reached for it again. Carefully taking hold of it, his whole face alert to the sensation of the warmth against his fingers. He cradled it to his chest as though it were spun gold, eyes closing. And slowly, he too sank beneath the water. Slowly but surely, the ripples on the top of the water that marked Zhou Mi’s shivering, faded. He smiled, pleased. And while Zhou Mi communed with the water bottle, he got a chair and a book, setting it not far from the pool’s edge. There was nothing that said just because he had a merman in his pool that he couldn’t relax. Every so often he’d see a few bubbles surface, and he chuckled. The equivalent of a snore, he wondered.
If he’d have found a hurt puppy, he’d have helped it, too.
***
Kyuhyun had left, eaten breakfast, and returned, by the time Zhou Mi resurfaced with the water bottle.
“I’ve heard of warm waters,” Zhou Mi said. “I know there are cousins that live in them. I never felt anything like that. My thanks to you. I rested well.”
“Good.” And Zhou Mi had probably been anxious through the night, so that was probably a really good thing.
“I would greet you in the way of my people,” Zhou Mi said. “Could I please…?”
Kyuhyun was half to his knees to get the cold water bottle, when Zhou Mi urged him closer. And he was frozen as a cool hand urged him down, wet mouth pressing ever so briefly to his.
And he gaped like he had been shot. Zhou Mi had let him go, sinking slightly but smiling as he spoke.
“I greet you, Kyuhyun. I thank you for your help. You are a friend of my people. I will not forget this.”
“I. Er. That’s. That’s how mer…people greet each other? That’s… That’s different than humans do.”
“Oh?” Zhou Mi’s eyes were bright. “Would you show me, so I can greet you, in your way, too?”
He almost said bowing. But there was no way a fish could bow in the water.
“Like this,” he said, and held out his hand, taking Zhou Mi’s and gently squeezing as he shook it. Zhou Mi took that up immediately, squeezing back and pumping with enthusiasm.
“A clasping of hands. And there are words?”
Kyuhyun felt like he was being given an etiquette quiz. “Nice to meet you, Zhou Mi.”
“Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Kyuhyun!”
He smiled despite himself, all kinds of weirdness going on. And circled back to not knowing what Zhou Mi needed to survive. “Do you need water?”
Zhou Mi touched the surface of the water around him with a frown.
“No, I mean fresh water?”
“Oh. No. The fish we eat is close enough to our human-type body that we don’t need it. The salt we take in from other places, we can expel better than humans can.”
“Okay, so fish and seaweed. Anything else? Do you eat fruit or anything?”
“Fruit? That grows on trees? No, I never have.”
“Maybe one day I’ll bring you some to try if it won’t hurt you. I can get you fish, but they might not be really fresh.”
Zhou Mi looked behind him at the ocean, that supplied his needs. But he didn't complain.
“I’ll go get food for you. Just stay hidden, okay?”
“I thank you,” Zhou Mi said solemnly.
Kyuhyun stood, his body stiff. And was almost glad to be able to get away for a while. “Yeah. I’ll be back.”
***
He assumed, anyway, that Zhou Mi would eat about as much as a person of his size. He bought several kinds of fish, dried seaweed. Pretty much anything he could find that looked appropriate. Managing even to throw in food for himself before paying for everything. He hadn’t seen Zhou Mi’s wound, but after sleeping, he seemed better, so with lucky it was healing with whatever Zhou Mi was doing for it.
He hadn’t even gotten the grotto gate closed behind him before Zhou Mi’s head popped up above the water.
“I got what looked best, freshest,” he said, planting himself on the pool edge. The seaweed, the fish, he laid out, peeling off the plastic from the fish and waiting for approval.
Zhou Mi bit his lip, touching it. Then looking up hopefully. “Do you have something to cut with?” And seeing Kyuhyun’s surprise, he smiled. “I have teeth like you. I’m not a shark.”
Kyuhyun laughed. “I’ll get one.”
He ate his cup noodles while Zhou Mi got the fish from its skin, examining the dried seaweed with interest before wetting it in the water and giving it his approval. He wondered how long it had been since Zhou Mi had eaten protein. But it made him feel good to see Zhou Mi demolish the fish, sighing with pleasure as he pressed his cheek to the sandy cement.
“Full?” Kyuhyun asked him. “Or do you need more?”
“I am fine now,” Zhou Mi said. “Kyuhyun, thank you. We are… We are taught to fear humans.”
“Well, you found the one good one,” Kyuhyun joked. “But really, there are others who’d do what I am. I’m not special.”
“I wish there was a way that I could help you.”
“I guess… I had a question? Obviously I didn’t think you were real. So I don’t really know how…your kind came about?”
“Do you remember the origin of your own species? We have legends of course, but that is mostly all they are. All we know is that we exist.”
Kyuhyun knew he existed. He knew where he’d come from. Sometimes, he wished he hadn’t. Sometimes, it’d be better off a mystery.
***
Zhou Mi had an incredible thirst for knowledge, wanting to know more about where they were in the world as he grew stronger day by day. He wasn’t exactly knowledgeable on oceanography, so he couldn’t give Zhou Mi a major landmark list. He wondered if merpeople even had maps. Maybe they wrote on turtle shells or something. Some days he just sat, listening to Zhou Mi speak of their culture, knowing there were researchers who would kill to be in his place. Some, he told Zhou Mi about his. Cars. Planes. TV. Even getting into the water with Zhou Mi a few time, testing a few strokes, and feeling observed as Zhou Mi floated and watched. And Zhou Mi touched, guided him into place as he climbed out, wet and weary. What he could see of Zhou Mi’s wound looked better. He couldn’t see raw places any more, but it seemed Zhou Mi was still being careful in his movements. He could understand that.
But he did show Zhou Mi some ocean maps on his laptop - careful to keep Zhou Mi’s dripping hands away - to varying success. He carted it back up the beach, before going back to sit. The dying sun was warm as he sat in his shorts on the side of the pool, letting his legs dangle in.
“I would know where I am by swimming not far,” Zhou Mi said, sighing. “Thank you for showing me those. The maps. I wish I knew how to read them.”
“So you can find your people again? Somehow?”
“Maybe,” Zhou Mi said, wistful.
Kyuhyun found himself far too used to the sight of Zhou Mi after less than a week. The interesting pallor of his skin, the hair that was a touch too long in places. It was a decidedly human face, which made it all the more strange to him. Though as he contemplated Zhou Mi’s face, basking in the sun, Zhou Mi was distracted by Kyuhyun’s…knees.
He lifted one leg, sort of demonstrating how it worked. Twisting his ankle, waggling his toes.
“It is like you have four arms,” Zhou Mi marveled.
“Er. Sort of. Only two opposable thumbs, though.”
“May I—“ Zhou Mi reached out a hand before snatching it back. “May I touch?”
“Yeah. That’s fine.”
Maybe Zhou Mi’d let him get a hand on the scales he’d felt before, too, one day. He figured he’d be curious, too, if some weirdo with four limbs kept hanging around.
To be honest, Zhou Mi’s hands on him had an affect that he wasn’t really ready to admit. It kind of tickled at first, and then he started thinking of all the ways that it didn’t tickle. The ways it sort of felt good. Sure his family had touched him, before— Before. And then his doctors, but this wasn’t someone touching him with concern or for professional reasons. Zhou Mi’s face was curious and light, observing the way Kyuhyun’s knee bent, the tendons, the kneecap. Tracing along the long muscles of his thigh through his thin shorts. High enough up his thigh, in fact, that his mind started wandering a little. Zhou Mi’s skin was warm and slick, so what would that feel like…?
He yelped when Zhou Mi’s hand landed on his crotch, pushing the hand away from his reluctantly throbbing body.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s outside?” Zhou Mi asked, eyes wide. “Are you… You are wanting to mate?”
“Outside?” He stared at Zhou Mi, or toward the part of Zhou Mi he’d assume sexual organs would be located. There was a dark vertical line, there. Perhaps, everything was inside there. That would make sense. He couldn’t imagine swimming around with sharks or whatever Zhou Mi did routinely with his junk hanging out. He shuddered at the thought. Zhou Mi must have assumed that everyone’s was protected inside. Sometimes he kind of wished that, probably any guy who’d gotten smacked in the nuts had.
“No, it’s always outside,” he explained. “It’s just…outside.”
“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry. I should have asked first.”
He wondered if his eyebrow twitched. How would that question have gone, even. May I grope you to examine your strange human physiology?
“Don’t worry. You didn’t know. I assume you don’t go touching other mer- er, guys?”
“Since there is nothing to touch outside, it isn’t forbidden. If we are playing games, then it’s common to try and stop each other around our bodies, even there. Just as long as hands don’t go… Inside, is not all right. Is it not dangerous to have something so sensitive on the outside of your body? Is it not protected at all?”
“Not really.”
Zhou Mi sort of stared at his crotch while chewing on his lower lip. “That’s very interesting, Kyuhyun. And your kind still continues, even though its reproductive organs are so at risk.”
“Well. I guess we do okay? There clearly wasn’t any natural selection favoring a penis on the inside.”
“Penis? What a strange word. Is that the word for mine as well?”
“I’m a little out of the loop on merman physiology,” he said, voice dry. “I’d guess so, though? It’s pretty general. What do you call it?”
Zhou Mi said some word he couldn’t understand, and seemed to want to continue his exploration of Kyuhyun’s body.
“Um. Everything else looks about the same. I don’t have…webbing, or fins or whatever, but hair, ears… We’ve both got them.”
“Your skin is so warm, warmer than mine, and dry. You would not be comfortable for long periods in the water. You cannot breathe underwater. You are vulnerable.”
It panged at him. He had come here, not to feel vulnerable, but to be empowered. It had been days since he’d even spent time thinking of himself, because it was so much easier to think of Zhou Mi, and his food, and his safety, and that he needed help. And the reminder of his own problems crashed into him.
“You don’t understand.”
He pushed off the protruding rock, into the water so that he could stand. His head ached suddenly, and all he wanted was to lie down. He knew if he did not, the ache would escalate, biting into his skull, his brain until he wanted to scream. Dizzy and sensitive to light, ill. So ill. Hating every minute of it.
One thing he did not question was that Zhou Mi was strong, and the hands that gripped at him were unyielding.
“Vulnerable in this big ocean,” Zhou Mi said softly. He couldn’t begin to describe how it pulled at him, that voice. “All the waters pounding at you, breaking you. You are nothing to the wall of water, but it does not fight you. It wants to hold you. Let it be your cradle, Kyuhyun. Let it take your pain.”
His head dropped onto Zhou Mi’s shoulder as though he were in some sort of trance, soothed. The slide of Zhou Mi’s hands against the skin of his spine, the sway of the water, the quiet croon of Zhou Mi’s voice. He sank willingly into the stupor that Zhou Mi provided.
***
He woke on his back, disconcerted, on the rocks. And though they were smooth, they were no mattress, and his muscles lightly protested as he shifted. He’d been heading back to his room. He blinked hazily up at the stars. Clearly he hadn’t made it.
“Kyuhyun?” Zhou Mi whispered.
He shivered, that sound so close to his ear, and realized that Zhou Mi had pulled himself up onto the rock beside Kyuhyun.
“How are you feeling?”
He hummed. The pain was gone, that much he knew. And beside the discomfort of the rock, he felt calm as well. He realized that his hand was in Zhou Mi’s, and that Zhou Mi was levering himself upright so that he could look at Kyuhyun.
“I’m fine?” he said, like he was surprised that it was true.
“I could feel your pain,” Zhou Mi murmured, pressing the back of Kyuhyun’s hand to his face. “You are stronger than you think.”
“What did you do to me?”
“I spoke in our own language, the language of my people. It is told that it has the ability to calm, to…seduce? Also, to heal.”
“I couldn’t have walked away from you. That’s kind of scary.”
“I will never use it unless to help you,” Zhou Mi promised. “I would never hurt you.”
“Just ask me next time, okay? Humans are pretty big on free will, even if we’re being helped.”
“I understand. Kyuhyun, to see you happy and well is pleasing to me. Like dolphins leaping, or…”
“I get it, I get it,” he protested, laughing. “Thanks for caring.”
The barest tip of Zhou Mi’s finger traced his cheek. “Thank you for caring. It seems you have a special language of your own, because my soul was broken when you found me. And day by day, it grows stronger beside you. I do not think… I do not think it was accident, that you came upon me that day, Kyuhyun.”
“Anyone else, and you’d be in a museum or a zoo by now,” he muttered, his face heating. If Zhou Mi thought of him that way, then who knew. “Don’t you have to be getting back in the water soon?”
“I am fine a little longer. Compared to the cold of the depths, the warmth of you is like holding the sun.”
“Warmth doesn’t keep you wet,” he countered. But Zhou Mi’s skin still seemed moist enough.
“I wish…” Zhou Mi whispered, lowering his head.
It was not the first time he had touched Zhou Mi’s hair, but it didn’t keep him from being surprised again at how silky smooth it was. It wasn’t like he really thought it’d be gunked or slimy, but it was still a surprise. It probably fanned out around Zhou Mi in the water in the right conditions.
“Wish what?” he prodded, catching himself mentally as Zhou Mi leaned into his hand.
“I see you walk up onto the beach, and you leave. And I am stranded here. Just watching you leave.”
“Stranded?” Kyuhyun couldn’t fathom it. Zhou Mi had freedom which was a heck of a lot more than Kyuhyun had. “You have the whole ocean! All of them! You could go anywhere! I’m the one who’s stuck. I’ll never get away from here.”
“What good are all the oceans if you’re alone in them?”
“Zhou Mi…”
He did not shy away when Zhou Mi reached for him. Somehow, he knew how much he needed this. Whenever he started feeling sorry for himself, he thought of what Zhou Mi had lost. Seeing that bright smile, how strong he was. It should’ve been uncomfortable to hug a mostly naked man. Or entirely naked when he thought about it that way. But it wasn’t. Zhou Mi nuzzled close against his neck, his strange, slow breaths moist but faintly warm. He could feel Zhou Mi’s skin, even through it’s protection. Smooth and supple, covering lean but not truly obvious muscles, and strong bones. It was the type of physique, minus the fishy parts, that he would have said he was attracted to. So it was not just Zhou Mi’s face he found appealing, with his striking features. He realized he’d almost been maneuvered into Zhou Mi’s lap, kneeling beside Zhou Mi as they sat together, hugging each other tight.
“You even smell warm,” Zhou Mi murmured. “Like the sun has touched you. All the things that grow on the earth, warm and soft on your skin.”
“You smell like seaweed,” he muttered. And it was true, he did. That kind of salty, vaguely fishy smell he associated with the ocean. And yet, also something sweet, and something darker beyond that. Almost a musk, but not quite. Something he assumed was the smell of Zhou Mi himself, and not just of his surroundings. Intellectually, it should not have comforted him. It should not have, certainly, sent warmth through his blood and interest through his body. Zhou Mi was different, an other from him. Being aroused by him should not have even been possible. But how different was he, really?
He stroked along the soft ridge up Zhou Mi’s spine, both hands tracing the dip of the short fin where it rose above flesh and bone. It gave lightly beneath his fingers, though he was gentle, making sure he wasn’t accidentally hurting Zhou Mi. He was just curious about the soft, giving skin. It seemed to make Zhou Mi more aerodynamic in the water. Or maybe it was just for looks. It seemed like it would be kind of an itchy spot, and he ran his index nails lightly along the base. Zhou Mi shuddered against him, almost violently, clutching at Kyuhyun as though he were about to fall. He had never heard Zhou Mi take such a gulping inhale, not even at the height of his emotional outbursts.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Is it me?”
Zhou Mi shook his head, kneading at Kyuhyun’s side. “You did nothing wrong, Kyuhyun. I’m sorry. It is just, it has been a long time since I have been touched by a lover.”
His fingers froze where they traced Zhou Mi’s spine. “Am I— What I’m doing is sexual?”
Turning Zhou Mi on hadn’t been quite his intentions, no matter what errant thoughts had run through his head about how alike they were.
“Our parents would have soothed our backs when we were very small, but it is sensitive. When one lover holds another, it can be soothing, calming. Because it is so sensitive, it also can be done while performing sexual acts, to arouse. Friends do not…”
Zhou Mi’s voice was hushed as it faded away. He had somehow gotten his nose notched in behind Kyuhyun’s jaw, and his forehead against Kyuhyun’s ear, so it made it harder to hear him. But it didn’t matter, because he understood. He felt sorry that he might have done something to upset Zhou Mi.
“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he said, patting at Zhou Mi’s shoulder blades, where he knew he was on safe ground. He realized that the skin beneath his hands was starting to feel a little tacky instead of smooth. “Should you be back in the water now?”
Without a word, and barely a nod, Zhou Mi pushed himself away and into the water. He disappeared with barely a splash, and Kyuhyun scooted up to the edge to peer down into the inky water. He thought he saw a shimmer, but it was some minutes before Zhou Mi emerged, hair wet and slick and face calm.
It was not until he was in bed that he played back Zhou Mi’s words. For them, the back was sensitive, especially the lower back where the ridge was. And for some reason all the times Zhou Mi had stroked his back played in his head.
***
It was his own mistake. Bringing food for Zhou Mi, day by day. And the promise he’d bring fruit finally occurred to him. He brought a small assortment thinking he wouldn’t have wanted to try just one kind. But he left it, like a housewarming present, when he dropped off Zhou Mi’s dinner. Intending, of course, to get his own dinner. And then to relax in the shower, before going back to check on Zhou Mi one last time.
He was used to sort of having to call for Zhou Mi, and had to blink when he saw Zhou Mi stretched out on the rocks on his stomach, tail flirtily flicking water up over his body as he hummed.
“What are you doing?” Kyuhyun asked as he got closer. “If someone walked this way, well, hello, big honking mermaid stretched out on the rocks.”
“No one would come,” Zhou Mi sighed, rolling halfway to his back. “Everything is fine. You have come, Kyuhyun. All is well.”
“What’s wrong with you?” He glanced at the basket he’d left. The empty basket. “Where’d all the fruit go?”
“Fruit. A funny word,” Zhou Mi said, licking very deliberately over his lips. He squinted thoughtfully. “It was very good, Kyuhyun. I ate one piece, and it made the next look so…tempting.”
Kyuhyun body wondered if that was supposed to be attractive, even as his brain screamed in laughter and disbelief.
“Are you drunk on fruit?” he finally got out.
“Fruit is happiness itself,” Zhou Mi murmured. “I will show you what I mean. I must share this with you, who brought it to me.”
It was a bad idea. He knew that before he waded into the water. No way was he going up on the rocks beside Zhou Mi. At least this way he had an escape from Zhou Mi’s strength. Zhou Mi’s hand closed around his like an iron vice, pulling him closer.
“Kyuhyun. You are… You are.” Kyuhyun’s eyes nearly crossed as Zhou Mi began speaking in his own language. It was like a hand was in his pants, stroking, and he didn’t know how to make it stop. Not because he needed it to. Because of where he was, who he was with. He didn’t just get turned on because of someone’s voice.
“No, I can’t,” he barked out, desperate as his body protested. “Not yet.”
Zhou Mi’s head almost seemed to bobble on his neck as he took in Kyuhyun, silent and inquisitive. He hadn’t actually let Kyuhyun go, holding him there against the rock. He had, though, got a hand down to adjust his pants. In the wet of the water it didn’t feel so bad, but he could still feel that his body had been tempted.
“Too soon, yes, too soon,” he said. “But Kyuhyun… Did you feel it?”
How could he not? Like his blood wasn’t even his own. “Yeah. I felt it.”
“I wanted to make you feel as you made me feel.”
Kyuhyun snorted. “Oh, good. So you’re a horny drunk. I’m glad I know that now.”
“Drunk?”
“What you are right now. Out of your head.”
“I would rather be in your head, Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said, smiling, and teasing Kyuhyun’s fingers.
“Lovely. I’m sure. Does that voice turn on all the other merpeople, or is just humans?”
“Some do hear it. Some do. There are different tones and vibrations, so some hear one person and not another. It is how mating is determined, so a mate can be pleasured the most.”
“Well, clearly I can hear you just fine.”
“And I, you, Kyuhyun. Your moans make it impossible to breathe…”
He swallowed convulsively as Zhou Mi touched his throat.
“I have never felt this…intoxication before,” Zhou Mi said, breath puffing against Kyuhyun’s face. He kept his eyes firmly on Zhou Mi’s ear so as not to encourage anything. Anything like, say, Zhou Mi’s lips drifting too close to his.
He waited for the long, delayed inhale. And when it came, it was more rattly than he expected. Zhou Mi’s eyes were closed, and his hand was sagging. And the merman had just sunk into an intoxicated stupor.
“When you get drunk, you get drunk,” he said appreciatively, easing Zhou Mi onto his back and letting his head down gently. “But you weigh a damned ton, so what am I supposed to do with you?”
With some chagrin, he retrieved the blanket he kept above the tide line, soaking it in the seawater. At least, if he could keep Zhou Mi covered it wetness, he wouldn’t dry out while he slept off his little experience. It was better than pushing him into the water. Even if Zhou Mi could breathe there, Kyuhyun couldn’t, and knowing his luck, he’d lose Zhou Mi under the water. It made sense. Using a big empty bowl he got, once Zhou Mi wasn’t exposed any more, he poured water over the blanket, Zhou Mi’s shoulders, his neck and head. Any other person would’ve thought they were drowning, but Zhou Mi just slept right on through, his hands all cutely curled. He ran down the straight nose with his fingertip. It wasn’t like it was just because Zhou Mi had made him want to come in his pants that he was so taken with him. They hadn’t even kissed properly yet. He let his thumb trace the full lower lip. Yet.
But then again, Zhou Mi might be seeing him as someone completely weird and foreign. Someone to be grateful to, and depend on. But it wasn’t like he could spend his life at the oceanside, tending to Zhou Mi, much less more. He’d been so afraid to try again, to live again, and he’d found someone who made him feel strong enough to take a chance. And he wasn’t even human. There was no tank big enough, that he could take Zhou Mi home with him, if Zhou Mi would even want to go. There was no way even someone like Zhou Mi would want to give up their freedom. And if Zhou Mi thought of him, wanting to pleasure him, there was no guarantee it was personal. But then again, who knew if Zhou Mi was that altruistic. He didn’t think so. He hoped not, anyway. Sighing, he leaned across and started the process again of wetting the blanket, and Zhou Mi’s skin. Watching Zhou Mi’s hair wash around a bit in the little eddy he created.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” he admitted out loud, and did not feel better for it.
***
Zhou Mi sulked, if Kyuhyun wanted to put a fine point on it, for almost a day after his little drunken episode. Though Kyuhyun assumed, also, he was recovering. If people got hangovers, maybe mermen did, too. It was hard not to feel kind of guilty, since it was partially his fault for bringing Zhou Mi the fruit. But there was no merman food chain guidebook. And since Zhou Mi wouldn’t respond, all he could do was pull up a chair and relax, doing some handheld gaming and watching as Zhou Mi floated around under the water. There were plenty of books and movies that talked about humans getting all hot and bothered by other -humanoid - species. He’d kind of rolled his eyes, as though that was just some kind of crazy talk. Had it really been Zhou Mi’s voice that had turned him on? It had helped, but if he hadn’t wanted at all, he had no idea if it would have worked. When Zhou Mi hung off the edge of the pool, it was like seeing a mostly normal man there. Swimmer’s shoulders, and long fingers, and an engaging smile. Even if his nose and cheeks were perpetually dripping because of his hair.
There was a certain amount of charm in that face. When he wasn’t worried, or longing. The ocean called to him, and Kyuhyun realized that. But it was only a matter of time before he was healed. Less time than either of them thought, probably.
Zhou Mi emerged before the sun went down, water streaming off of his face as he looked at Kyuhyun with sorrowful eyes.
“I will accept any punishment,” Zhou Mi said softly.
Kyuhyun’s brain balked. “Uh. For what?”
“For my behavior. For… Denying your will. For speaking to you, as I would have a lover.”
Kyuhyun kicked aside his flip flops, and groaned as he lowered to the pool edge.
“You didn’t deny me. You stopped when I asked you to. And you were out of your head. That’s my fault. So you don’t have to apologize.”
“Kyuhyun—“
“No. Don’t feel guilty. You were the funniest drunk I ever saw.”
Zhou Mi’s mouth bowed almost into a pout. “There was humor in it?”
“Sure. It was cute.”
A little over the top, but mostly cute. Zhou Mi clearly couldn’t even do drunk normally. But there was relief on Zhou Mi’s face, and he smiled. So a hangover, and feeling guilty for something he hadn’t been responsible for.
“You are alone here. Do you miss your family?” Zhou Mi asked, searching his face.
The fire. The impact.
The pain.
“I don’t have— We’re alike,” Kyuhyun said, the words hard to come by. “We’re alone.”
Eventually his time for rehabilitation would run out as well. He’d leave, not long after Zhou Mi would. To go back to… To something. He just didn’t know what, yet.
And the pain he felt was far from physical, but the tension was there, waiting. To relive the headaches, the searing aches in his limbs. He pushed into the water, sinking nearly to his chest before stopping. Zhou Mi came near, but not near enough to touch.
“You said you could take away pain,” Kyuhyun said, extending a hand.
“Oh. Kyuhyun. I will try. With every bit of me, I will try.”
Though the water was cool, Zhou Mi’s body was warmer in it. Head against his as Zhou Mi steadied them. And Zhou Mi spoke, words he could not fathom. It did not turn him on, but it soothed the bright and blazing spot inside him. And the tears, not many of them fell. He was as secure, as whole and unbroken, right there in the arms of a man who wasn’t, as he had been in months. But his consciousness was his to keep, Zhou Mi’s touch and hold light, keeping Kyuhyun well above water. There were things that he could not understand. Things beyond him. All he knew was that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to stay there, right there, for as long as he was able. And his heart was calm as he drew back, staring at Zhou Mi’s chin. His hands slid from Zhou Mi’s shoulders, to his sides. To his lower back, where the ridge of skin traced Zhou Mi’s spine. The place touched only by a lover. He did not rub, intending not to arouse. Only to touch. And his eyes rose, asking a question without words.
Zhou Mi jerked him closer, name expelled against his cheek.
And they drifted together in the pool, fingers dipping lower down Kyuhyun’s back. And he knew Zhou Mi had understood.
***
“I need to know,” Zhou Mi said. And Kyuhyun’s heart was cracking. Needed to know if he was capable of swimming. Of going back to the ocean for good.
The little grotto that Zhou Mi called his protection, could also give him his freedom. The sea wall that spilled water at high tide, if Zhou Mi could reach the top of it, he could pull himself into the ocean. And return the same way, even if it was risky. If he returned at all.
Kyuhyun became an engineer again. Purchasing rope, and creating almost a pulley. It was expensive, buying the crank, and hard and laborious work. But Zhou Mi holding on, and the pulley anchored, Kyuhyun could lift him until Zhou Mi could reach the sea wall edge. There was no other way. And he could hardly take Zhou Mi down the beach in the light of day. Even then, it was at night. Taking no chances.
The wound was now only a darker patch among Zhou Mi’s scales, as Kyuhyun panted against the side of the wall. The ledge there was hardly wide enough for him to stand, but he couldn’t go back before catching his breath. Zhou Mi seemed…amazed. So amazed to be sitting on that wall, the ocean only feet below him, and frothing.
“Will you swim with me?” Zhou Mi asked. And the hands that tugged at his arm were warm.
No matter how strong he felt, the water was cold, and he had not swam in years.
“I don’t know if I can make it that far,” he said honestly. “I’m not strong enough, and the ocean is rough.”
“I will swim for you. I was hurt, but I can help you. Please, Kyuhyun. Trust me.”
He hoped that Zhou Mi’s head hadn’t been damaged when he was hurt. His locked knees gave, and he climbed onto the sea wall. Zhou Mi went first, sinking into the rising tide for a moment before surfacing. Kyuhyun kept his eyes on the waves, not wanting to be crushed. The breakwater took care of most of it. Most of the time. Something swished around his legs, and he realized that Zhou Mi wanted him to hold onto his shoulders, and straddle his back.
In essence…riding him.
“I’ll be too heavy,” he protested, almost stammering.
“Trust me.”
Something about Zhou Mi’s voice, and the way he said it, made all his protests fade. He sighed and did as Zhou Mi asked, letting go of the wall, yelping and giving in, wrapping both arms around Zhou Mi’s neck, as Zhou Mi powered them into the water with a swift swish of his tail. Tail. He was insane. He really was. He was going to wake up from the idiotic dream and just be sane again. Of course, he realized the further he got down, the more water he was eating. Zhou Mi had said to trust him, and though the body beneath him was moving, he was stable. Moving with the current and the waves, and not against it. There were shelves of the rock that extended out. He squeezed Zhou Mi’s shoulders, seeing a place there the rocks had fallen, making an almost sheltered cove along an abandoned stretch of beach. He tried to be very still, as Zhou Mi picked through the rocks. And kind of wondered how he was getting out of here. If there was even a way to get out by land. He had no food, or water. No dry clothes. And he was already cold.
And stiff, as he stumbled off of Zhou Mi, leaning against the shelf of a rock and trying to gather himself. In the water was definitely warmer than out, that was for certain. Or it felt that way anyway.
“That was wonderful,” Zhou Mi enthused, rolling onto his back and nearly wiggling in the water. “I had forgotten what it felt like to be free.”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said, lips trembling slightly with the cold. He’d been on a merman’s back, zooming around in the water like he was some kind of fish. “It was fun. How do you feel?”
“Wonderful,” Zhou Mi said, beaming. And Kyuhyun was glad. He was sure that was the emotion. Glad. Yes. Glad as he sat, and watched as Zhou Mi raced himself in the water, leaping up like a breaching whale once, and showering Kyuhyun with water. And when he’d had his fun, he returned to Kyuhyun. Staring at the way Kyuhyun hugged his legs. “Oh, Kyuhyun, you are cold. I will take you back. I could stay out here—“
Forever. Yeah, Kyuhyun knew that.
Knew it, even as he got his arms back around Zhou Mi, as Zhou Mi took them back. Zhou Mi steadying him onto the sea wall, as Kyuhyun carefully crept to the ledge he could stand on.
“You staying out a while longer?” he asked.
“Just a little while,” Zhou Mi promised. “Don’t wait for me. Go be warm.”
Kyuhyun didn’t wait. He sat, numb, in the shower instead. The first step again, to being alone. One he had stupidly not prepared himself for. It had come too fast.
But as he felt sorry for himself, anguished for himself…
Someone else was seeing more than they should have.
***
Fifteen feet.
Ten.
Five.
Kyuhyun’s hand paused at the edge of the gate. Unlatched. He knew he’d locked it. He double, triple checked. Some nights going back to check once more before bed. The grotto’s privacy was not only a personal requirement, but the key, the absolute key to Zhou Mi’s safety.
Voices.
He pivoted, ready to run right then. Flee. Save himself.
Zhou Mi, who floated with him, stroked his back. Who calmed him. Who healed him more than years in the bungalow would have done—
Zhou Mi didn’t have that option. Kyuhyun had put him where he didn’t have that option.
He’d pushed through the gate, two men at the edge of the pool. One with a camera, the other a video recorder.
“Hey! This is a private area! Get out of here!”
He couldn’t see Zhou Mi, but he knew Zhou Mi was still in there. The men wouldn’t have still been there if he hadn’t. He knew that.
“Is that a merman?” the guy with the camera said. “Did you find him? We got a call—“
Reporters. Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get out.”
“Did you—“
“Get out!”
When they would not move he yanked, and pushed. Tried to grab for their cameras as they kept shooting questions. Maneuvering them toward the gate as he tried not to hyperventilate.
“Get out. I’ll call the police. Get out!” he shouted, and shoved them the rest of the way.
He locked the grotto gates from the inside, racing for the pool.
“They’re going to get out over the wall? Where can we get a boat?!” he heard as he splashed in feet-first.
Zhou Mi, huddling the farthest he could go, surfaced immediately.
“Did they see you?” he demanded.
“I don’t know. I hid as soon as I saw it wasn’t you. I don’t know how they could know.”
“Maybe someone saw you swimming. Maybe…Shit. They’re going to find someone and break in here again. This isn’t safe. And they’re getting a boat. You have to go. You’re well enough to go.”
“But Kyuhyun—“
“Grab the rope.”
He had never worked the pulley so fast in his life, his arms screaming as he watched Zhou Mi lift inch by precious inch. Straining for the top of the wall, where he could get to freedom. Zhou Mi was panting too, eyes frightened as he got himself onto the wall.
“Go, fast,” Kyuhyun hissed.
Last time they’d see each other. Almost certainly. He didn’t live on the beach. Zhou Mi didn’t live on land.
“Come with me,” Zhou Mi implored, stretching out a desperate hand. “I’ll take care of you. Please come.”
“I can’t live in the ocean.”
“Is that all that’s left for us, to be alone?” And Zhou Mi’s eyes were so sad. “You told me there was no one left for you here. But you could be with me!”
“There’s no way that’s possible.”
“There is,” Zhou Mi insisted. “Trust me. Come with me. I promise. Please.”
Every second they wasted— He knew Zhou Mi could carry him. Even if he got put on a beach a few miles away, they couldn’t have this conversation now. Zhou Mi was right. There was no one waiting for him. But he didn’t know what waited for him with Zhou Mi.
He made the leap of faith.
Water churning around him as the water drew back. Unable to hear, even as Zhou Mi dragged him close. Gasping for air as water hit him in the face, but unwilling to slow Zhou Mi’s progress. First, to the open ocean. And the abrupt right angle to follow the curve of the land. He didn’t know how long Zhou Mi swam, only that Zhou Mi was the only thing holding him on his back. He was losing feeling in his fingers, his legs. Exhausted, frightened, anxious out of his mind. They must have gone miles, and Zhou Mi was almost keening as he breathed. Weak, from lack of exercise.
“I can’t do this,” he muttered into Zhou Mi’s neck. “I’ll die. The water— You couldn’t— Zhou Mi.”
Zhou Mi turned, carefully, so that Kyuhyun was on his stomach instead of his back. So they could be face to face.
“There is a pearl,” Zhou Mi began. “Though we all know of them, they are never spoken of, except between the closest to us.”
“And it’s a magic pearl, that will make me breathe under water?” Kyuhyun cracked.
“No. It’s part of my soul. When a child is born, they are given a part of our soul. But to a human, they say it is different. You would become like me.”
“You’ll look for your people,” he said.
“And I want to find them. With you by my side.”
“Zhou Mi.”
“You would be more precious to me than my own wellbeing. And the soul is infinite. And my love…” Zhou Mi smiled, his fingers electric on Kyuhyun’s back. “Grows with it.”
Let it be your cradle, Kyuhyun. Let it take your pain.
He had nothing left for him on land, but hurt, and pain. Maybe he was running away. Maybe he was turning his back on reality. But he was also choosing the possibility of happiness. It was foreign to him. He never thought he’d have that option. And the ocean, it wasn’t his choice. Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi who touched him as a lover would. Zhou Mi was his choice. Unknown. Adventure.
The pearl was blue black, and small. He swallowed it with ease, his frigid hands being held by Zhou Mi’s.
All that he left behind were clothes floating on the water, abandoned belongings in a seaside bungalow. And reporters that were accused of trying to create a hoax.
They had so much to look for and do. But he was never lost, as long as he kept sight of Zhou Mi’s fin in the infinite ocean around them.
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-07-02 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 12:53 am (UTC)your explanation of merpeople reproduction made perfect sense and it answered my gnawing questions that have been with me since i saw the little mermaid and wondered how they went to the bathroom. lol.
but this was so beautiful and sad, but hopeful and i kind of want to cry. but in a good way.
i don't even have words, so please excuse this lame comment.
this was amazing ♥
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-07-02 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 07:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-02 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-07-02 11:45 pm (UTC)it's heartbreaking and so so so beautiful *~*
have a kui xian as small thanks ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 12:36 am (UTC)You know, I was actually just thinking about merman!Mi today and wondering when you were going to post it.
Like, literally a few hours ago.
HUH.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 01:30 am (UTC)a little bit angsty on kyu's side...
still, i love every piece of this....
love this.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 02:30 am (UTC)it was so well written, and gorgeous, and brilliant, and amazing, i loved EVERY minute of it! I have to say, one of my favorite parts was when Kyuhyun stroked Zhou Mi's back. (a close second would be when he was drunk off fruit) the strange thing is, even though this was AU (like, REALLLLLY AU) not once did i think this was implausible, or unimaginable. (which is kinda weird considering Zhou Mi is a MERMAN. Does that mean i can imagine him as a mythical creature??) And so that's a big A+ for your writing skills. ^_____^ (another A+ for you is the fact that it is so LONG!!! i absolutely ADORE long stories)
i'm pretty sure it's safe to say that this is quite possibly one of my favorite stories i have ever read. <333 i would be crazy to not mem it.
even though i'm curious as to whether this will have a sequel, or more parts to it (even though your header CLEARLY states it's a One Shot) i don't want to make you feel as if you HAVE to write more. But i'm just saying that if you ever do, i would probably melt into a little puddle of poor happiness.
i said i had no words to explain how much i loved this, and look at all that up there ^^^^^^^^^ haha.
*squishes you in such a tight hug because you are simply amazing, you blew my mind, and i can't contain myself*
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:21 am (UTC)I don't currently have...ideas for more? Unless maybe a drabble, or something. I don't know~~ I'm so glad it was enjoyable. ;A;
no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 03:43 am (UTC)Just wow. I can't even think of much a reply besides wow!
Please tell me this isn't the end of this au! There's just so much more you can write!!!!! *puppy dog eyes*
Still can't express just how gorgeous this fic is!!! This AU, your writing... freaking gorgeous <3 <3 <3
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:26 am (UTC)Haha. As with most things, I don't have much of an idea for more right now. We'll.... see. But not that I know of yet. *_*;;; <3
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 05:23 am (UTC)You know, most of your fics make me feel warm and happy and satisfied. But this one sent pangs through my whole body. And, by the end, I was crying. It was so gorgeous that I'd be keysmashing if not for trying to contain my tears.
This was so freaking beautiful. Thanks so much for writing something so...amazing. <3333
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 01:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 03:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 09:34 pm (UTC)seriously...this story is really beautiful...
2 lonely souls means to be together although they came from different worlds...
no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-04 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-04 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-04 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-04 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-05 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-11 08:54 am (UTC)