[Fic] Prerequisites - 5/7
Jan. 10th, 2010 04:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coley_merrinTitle: Prerequisites
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall (language, sexual situations)
Pairings: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Genre: Angst/smut/fluff, Romance (Aka...the kitchen sink)
Summary: All Kyuhyun thinks he wants is to get into Zhou Mi's pants. All Zhou Mi says that he wants is to protect the band. But just one promise could undo all the secrets that they have been hiding from each other.
***
Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six
***
Kyuhyun knew for a fact that his wig was straight and perfectly styled, because he had just come from the chair where it and his makeup had been put on. But that didn’t stop Zhou Mi’s fingers from reaching out, playing with the ends and straightening it. Then turning his attention to Kyuhyun’s face, where he knew his lips were shiny and cheekbones were pink, a little bit of effect for the bad lighting of the stage.
“Kyuyoung at your service,” he said wryly. He hadn’t really meant to go looking for Zhou Mi, it just…happened. And finding him all alone in one of the little nooks had been more of a stroke of luck.
Zhou Mi just sort of huffed. “It looks good on you, Kui Xian,” he said, smiling as he played with the ends of the wig.
“You like long hair?”
“Not usually… But it suits you. You look pretty.”
“Pretty. Thank you so much.” Zhou Mi grinned, edging Kyuhyun’s chin to the side. “As though you’re attracted to girls.”
“Just girls named Kyuyoung? If you wore that makeup every day…”
“I don’t think I could call myself a man. Do I look like a girl?” He really tried to say that with some flirtatiousness, but fluttering is eyelashes just wasn’t on his list of accomplishments. Awkward rapid blinking, that was it.
“Not like a girl, really… There’s too much…” Zhou Mi didn’t even really seem to know where he was going with that thought.
“Well, I’m not calling you “oppa” no matter what you ask,” he insisted, and felt Zhou Mi’s laugh cool against the gloss on his lips.
He didn’t actually care about the wig or the makeup, but Zhou Mi’s hands skimming along his hips… that he did. They weren’t totally enclosed, but no one could really see them. Zhou Mi’s back hid them if anyone happened to pop by.
“I wonder what it feels like to kiss?”
His eyebrows rose, as Zhou Mi leaned in closer. “You want to get me in trouble when they have to redo this?”
That thought didn’t keep him from grasping Zhou Mi’s lapels, tasting Zhou Mi’s mouth.
There was the old eyelash-in-the-eye excuse if they got caught standing so close. But unless he’d stopped breathing, there was no excuse for Zhou Mi pressing his mouth to Kyuhyun’s. It was weird and a little different with his lips all slick, the slight cinnamon taste pervading through into his mouth. It wasn’t his favorite sensation, like a barrier that existed between their lips. Still. A bad kiss it was not. He wasn’t sure Zhou Mi could give a bad kiss. And that was less sappiness than it sounded like. It wasn’t something like getting full after a meal. There were acceptable levels of satisfaction, however. He didn’t have to spend quite as much time obsessing since he knew there was going to be no lack of it. Still, he was a glutton. Skinny Zhou Mi and that smile.
He backed up mentally. That was definitely sappy. But it was kind of okay. Because so was the man who sighed against his mouth.
He wanted to spend an hour on Zhou Mi’s bottom lip, but he didn’t think he had the time. Too bad, because it was there, all tempting and sweet, and his hands curled tighter on the front of Zhou Mi’s shirt to hold him there.
They were almost more cuddling than kissing, and he felt heat rising in his face at the way he had just…given in.
“What fascinates you about this so much?” he asked, angling his head back.
“I don’t know… You look younger somehow… More vulnerable.”
“It’s the makeup… I’m not your cute little girlfriend. Wait. Are you saying I look old and invulnerable the rest of the time?”
Zhou Mi laughed. “No. Kui Xian… You… I think you do make people want to protect you. But in these eyes…” Zhou Mi’s fingertips rested at the corner of his lashes. “You see a lot of wisdom... Sorry. I went on…”
“No,” he said, intrigued. “I want to hear more.”
“30 seconds!” someone called.
“Damn it… Later! And by the way… That shade of lipstick looks good on you,” he said, having just enough time to see Zhou Mi bring his fingers to his mouth before he raced to get his face fixed. He could claim he smudged it on a bottle of water or something. Not that he was sucking face with his…
With Zhou Mi.
***
He hated feeling weak. People weren’t quite as quick to look at him with deranged and worried eyes as they had once been if he so much as made a noise. And that was good because he had gotten tired of having to back himself down from feeling smothered and irritated. And grateful, when he was reasonable, but he wasn’t a saint.
But days spent under hot lights, standing for hours, dancing, singing, concentrating. It took its toll on all of them in different ways. Some showed it more than others. Ryeowook seemed to deal with it by trying to take care of all of them, and Siwon wrapping an arm around Hangeng as though they were swapping power. Henry ate and ate and then passed out wherever he was sitting. Donghae got jittery.
And he, he creaked around the apartment like the resident elderly person, at least in his head. No one mentioned it much, too exhausted themselves. But he didn’t feel too bad when he saw Zhou Mi. He had dark eye circles and slightly giving posture, as though holding himself fully upright was a little too much effort.
The whisper and thunk of the closing door of their room was solace. He had nearly fallen asleep under the spray of the shower, catching himself on the wall. He always seemed to catch himself. He had brushed his teeth, sitting on the closed toilet lid as Zhou Mi showered. The curtain all privacy, but he entertained a brief fantasy of yanking it back, luxuriating in Zhou Mi’s yelp, and admiring the wet body. When Zhou Mi had realized he wasn’t going to be able to hurry Kyuhyun out of the bathroom, he’d sent him a very arch look and undressed behind the curtain, tossing his clothes out in a very precise pile. Occasionally they would hear Zhou Mi sing in the shower. Not tonight.
He watched his toothpaste swirl in the bowl of the sink and wondered how much effort he’d have to expend to get his elbows up off of the counter. The water of the shower turned off, and he tried not to imagine the movements that went with the little sounds, Zhou Mi drying, dressing. He felt locked in place as Zhou Mi stepped out, towel on his head. And just leaned there as Zhou Mi dried his hair, brushed his teeth, applied product to his face. Every once in a while their eyes would meet in the mirror and the corner of Zhou Mi’s eyes would crinkle, a little smile. He should’ve stood and walked to their room on his own. But he waited, and they walked together, somehow moving himself upright and letting Donghae into the bathroom behind them. He made a messy pile with his things, unable to really care. His body was crying for sleep, and he crawled into his bed.
His back wept in pleasure and pain as the muscles were allowed to give way.
“Kui Xian…” came the quiet whisper.
“Hmmm?”
A body slid in beside his, and that startled him. But he moaned in pleasure as Zhou Mi’s hand took several solid rubs up and down his back. He turned, getting an arm around Zhou Mi as well, massaging at his spine all while purring into the long neck. He used one of Zhou Mi’s thighs as a pillow between his legs. He didn’t even think it was possible to be that comfortable.
He mumbled something incomprehensible to both of them. He could smell Zhou Mi’s soap and his skin, and feel his warmth radiating against his under the covers. And with his hands tangled in the soft shirt, his mind was off immediately.
***
He half woke, warm, the bed shaking a little, blanket tucked at his shoulder. He sort of realized that it was Zhou Mi climbing out, and made some sort of sound, but lips were pressed to his cheek and he was soothed, and slept deeply after.
***
He woke finally to light, and heat, and an arm weighing down his ribs. Zhou Mi had gotten back in bed it seemed. Not that he minded, really. Considering it, it actually turned him on a little. He rubbed widening circles on the skin of Zhou Mi’s lower back, dipping to grope the firm behind a little as he pressed kisses along Zhou Mi’s throat. He knew the moment Zhou Mi came out of sleep, the unevenness in his breathing as he absorbed how Kyuhyun was touching him. He was all still pliable, letting Kyuhyun roll him onto his back, staring up with sleep fuzzy eyes as Kyuhyun nudged up his shirt. Unless he was much mistaken, they would have enough time to get a little fun in before having to get up. Zhou Mi expelled a quiet croak when he realized just what kind of fun Kyuhyun had in mind, having wriggled both their pants down just far enough for skin against skin. Hands tightened on Kyuhyun’s ribs as his hand closed around them both, teasing, stroking.
A smirk touched Kyuhyun’s lips. “Good morning,” he murmured, and proceeded to try and kiss Zhou Mi senseless.
They moaned, muffled by each other’s mouths, and Zhou Mi’s hands woke with the rest of him, teasing the backs of Kyuhyun’s thighs, his sides, his neck. They had to focus on breathing, and seeing as he was gasping against the man’s cheek, they weren’t doing very well at it. The sounds from Zhou Mi wavered, the body tensing beneath him, and he moaned in triumph, far too ready to led himself go. He gave himself up to the tightness of Zhou Mi’s arms and let himself float for at least a few minutes.
Until the alarm started screaming.
They knocked heads, slapping at it, and Zhou Mi got to it first. They giggled out their panic into each other’s shoulders, all but guffawing at the end as relief settled through them. Well. Zhou Mi gave his version of a giggle, and Kyuhyun would never have called his own laugh a giggle short of gunpoint, and/or a variety show requiring it of him. And even then…
He was kind of uncomfortably aware as they got themselves situated, cleaning, pulling clothes back into place, that Zhou Mi had more or less stayed the night in his bed. Even if it was just a few hours.
“I guess that’s why we have our own beds so we don’t take advantage of the easy access,” he said breezily.
And he didn’t really think anything of the sudden tenseness in Zhou Mi’s posture. They passed the day as normal. Maybe Zhou Mi didn’t smile quite quite as quickly at his quips, but he smiled, and Kyuhyun thought little more on it.
***
The dream did not start out badly… He had Zhou Mi pressed to the wall, hands up his shirt, mouth pressed to his. If all his dreams started that way…
But it went rapidly downhill from there. He heard a sound, wrenching their lips apart to see the gaping Donghae. He wasn’t particularly positive if Donghae was going to go rushing off with the idea that they were going to be doing anything more scandalous than tying knots in each other’s shoelaces. You never could tell…
Until Zhou Mi pushed him away, going to stand with Donghae, with others, who filed out into the dimly lit hall.
Zhou Mi and the group of faceless people were shouting hateful things at him, insulting him, hitting him at the places he was weakest at, places only his own mind would. You’re not perfect, you never will be, damaged, incomplete… Who could want you…
“Shut up!” he screamed back. “You’re not Zhou Mi!” Zhou Mi knew better. Zhou Mi saw him differently. Zhou Mi actually saw him, wanted him, liked him. Zhou Mi took his smiles…
He woke with a gasp, the dream fading, but the sickness not quite fast enough. He ran for the bathroom, not caring what fell behind him, breathing heavily as he stood against the counter. Zhou Mi would never, ever… To each other, they were more than that.
Whatever he had so imprudently knocked over had been neatly put back in place by the cleaning Zhou Mi fairy. Who looked all haggard and bed-worn as he sat on the edge of Kyuhyun’s mattress.
He blinked. Definitely on the edge of the wrong mattress.
“Did you have a bad dream?” Zhou Mi asked, fidgeting as though he knew he wasn’t supposed to be there.
It was like a test of wills, knowing what Zhou Mi smelled like in the hollow of his jaw, what the skin of his ears felt like, the heat of that mouth against his, or around his fingers, or his…
“Not a good dream,” he gruffed out, feeling that truth was the best policy in light of so few believable excuses.
“I’m sorry, Kui Xian. Did you want to talk about it?”
“Not really…”
Rather than waiting for Zhou Mi to move, he just climbed right over, sliding down into the covers. He patted at Zhou Mi’s lower back. “Your feet are going to get cold.”
But to his surprise, Zhou Mi didn’t go back to his bed. He lifted the edge of Kyuhyun’s blankets and slid under without so much as a question, and yes, his feet were cold, since he seemed to be tasked with warming them up with his own.
A light kiss was pressed against his mouth, but it seemed that Zhou Mi…wanted to hold him. He was held solidly with both arms. It felt kind of nice, being held. He didn’t feel awkward or out of place, like this. Even when Zhou Mi fell asleep.
It wasn’t that he was gay. Exactly. It wasn’t something he would ever take to his parents. To his sister. The thought caused a wrenching in his gut that was too close to pain. To see disappointment in their eyes…
“Yes, I’m gay for…”
For the man who seemed to be having a snuffling little dream with his nose poked partway into Kyuhyun’s armpit.
That was all it was, really. Attraction. Respect. Like. A little bit of need. Obvious sexual need.
He bent down his head, sniffing at Zhou Mi’s hair, the scent of it.
Of course he liked girls. Their pretty, slender legs, pretty…
No one would accuse Zhou Mi’s long, somewhat curving legs as being pretty when they were bare. They were man legs, hair, sharp shins, enviably thin thighs. That didn’t keep him from wanting them wrapped around his hips. And he showed off pants like no other, hipbones framing, legs sweeping. And his shoulders in the crisp, button-up shirts, a button or two undone to expose the necklace underneath, or his collarbones…
Had he been thinking about girls?
But the truth was, he had no idea what the future held. Zhou Mi returning to China for good, using all of his charm to win the hearts of everyone. It wasn’t like they could be the traveling Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun show, Sunshine Mimi and his little pet singer. He didn’t even know how that could work out.
Zhou Mi woke, rubbing his head against Kyuhyun’s chest and scooting up to press his mouth to Kyuhyun’s.
As Zhou Mi licked his lips, studying him, he shifted in vague unease. Why was he the subject of such a stare?
“What are you thinking so deeply about?” he was asked, gentle fingers brushing at the shadows beneath his eyes. Of course, of course Zhou Mi would see it.
“Just stupid stuff. Future stuff.”
“Ah…” Soft lips molded to his for a moment more. “Someone very wise told me once that we can only deal with our present, and our future when we get to it.”
“But if it’s not dealt with…”
“Will worrying solve it?”
“No…” He sort of saw Zhou Mi’s point. “Okay.”
Pushing away Zhou Mi now because he might have to at some unknown future date…
All was fine now, he argued, when he had all his shields and protections, and it wouldn’t hurt him because he didn’t even have a name or a location for the increasingly tangled knot inside himself. The one that coiled and sprouted because Zhou Mi leaned into his kisses, and shuddered at softly spoken words, and was inexplicably aroused by him…
The problem with situations like theirs, the little annoying I-told-you-so part of himself was crowing, was that someone inevitably ended up with expectations. And he wasn’t nearly egotistical enough to think it couldn’t be him. And no one who felt Zhou Mi’s body curve against theirs like he had, with all those smiles and guarantees of belonging could hold out.
It was so sappy he wanted to go and gag, but he was too busy contemplating gagging Zhou Mi with his tongue.
And though the kiss ended up being exploring rather than aggressive, and that was fine as well.
“Kui Xian, I wanted to ask you something about, well…Us.”
“Could it wait?” he muttered, distracted by Zhou Mi’s chin. “Maybe tomorrow, or something.”
Zhou Mi was strangely silent for a moment. “I guess. I wish…I could worry for you,” he whispered, causing something inside of him to twist awkwardly.
“You would get ulcers, and you’re skinny enough already,” he said, poking the flat stomach.
Zhou Mi laughed, cuddling closer until one of Kyuhyun’s thighs was between his. The stroking on his hair and neck had his consciousness wobbling, and for a second he realized Zhou Mi was still in his bed with him. But he didn’t have any real thought to kick him out, as the darkness beckoned and he fell asleep.
He woke slowly, rolling his face into his pillow. At first, he didn’t really think of it, until he focused on his cool hand. Zhou Mi had been there when he had fallen asleep. He shot half upright, sweeping the edge of his bed before seeing Zhou Mi’s sleeping form…in his own bed. Had he asked him to leave? Kyuhyun wondered. Though considering what he’d been worried about, he supposed it was the best thing. But he felt sort of ridiculously…abandoned. And also sort of worried. Did he smell or something?
But a cursory sniff of his arm led him to think there wasn’t any untoward odors hanging about. Perhaps Zhou Mi was offended that he’d fallen asleep so abruptly. But who wouldn’t, with Zhou Mi’s big paw stroking their hair? He scowled at the other bed.
Of course he laughed, as two seconds later they both jumped as a bunch of rhythmic beating sounded on their door in indication they were supposed to get up. Zhou Mi moaned, trying to fit his head beneath his pillow.
“That hasn’t worked the last hundred times you’ve tried,” Kyuhyun told him, standing to see what clothes he had that he could just toss onto his body. He was half dressed and Zhou Mi was still barely moving to get out from under the covers. He rocked the bed with his foot, and got a reproachful groan.
“Sun’s up, sleepyhead,” he said.
Zhou Mi squinted at Kyuhyun’s face as he sat up. “Ugh.”
“What’s with you this morning?” He was usually a slow riser, but this was pushing even that.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” was the croaking answer.
He had to turn back around as that thought sank into him. Maybe Zhou Mi had stayed in his bed, but because of Kyuhyun’s presence he hadn’t been able to sleep and had to go back to his own bed to try and get some rest. Some people just really didn’t like sleeping next to others. Maybe Zhou Mi was one of those. Maybe… Maybe…
Maybe the sun smelled like oranges. Who knew.
But Zhou Mi did sleep the entire way to the studio, head lolling onto Kyuhyun’s shoulder as their manager briefed them. So he figured he must not be that offensive. He was supposed to be listening to tell Zhou Mi what they would be doing, but by the time they hopped out of the van at the studio, details had started to leak out of his head. Zhou Mi adjusted his sunglasses and beamed him a half smile, and they followed the others in.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall (language, sexual situations)
Pairings: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Genre: Angst/smut/fluff, Romance (Aka...the kitchen sink)
Summary: All Kyuhyun thinks he wants is to get into Zhou Mi's pants. All Zhou Mi says that he wants is to protect the band. But just one promise could undo all the secrets that they have been hiding from each other.
***
Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six
***
Kyuhyun knew for a fact that his wig was straight and perfectly styled, because he had just come from the chair where it and his makeup had been put on. But that didn’t stop Zhou Mi’s fingers from reaching out, playing with the ends and straightening it. Then turning his attention to Kyuhyun’s face, where he knew his lips were shiny and cheekbones were pink, a little bit of effect for the bad lighting of the stage.
“Kyuyoung at your service,” he said wryly. He hadn’t really meant to go looking for Zhou Mi, it just…happened. And finding him all alone in one of the little nooks had been more of a stroke of luck.
Zhou Mi just sort of huffed. “It looks good on you, Kui Xian,” he said, smiling as he played with the ends of the wig.
“You like long hair?”
“Not usually… But it suits you. You look pretty.”
“Pretty. Thank you so much.” Zhou Mi grinned, edging Kyuhyun’s chin to the side. “As though you’re attracted to girls.”
“Just girls named Kyuyoung? If you wore that makeup every day…”
“I don’t think I could call myself a man. Do I look like a girl?” He really tried to say that with some flirtatiousness, but fluttering is eyelashes just wasn’t on his list of accomplishments. Awkward rapid blinking, that was it.
“Not like a girl, really… There’s too much…” Zhou Mi didn’t even really seem to know where he was going with that thought.
“Well, I’m not calling you “oppa” no matter what you ask,” he insisted, and felt Zhou Mi’s laugh cool against the gloss on his lips.
He didn’t actually care about the wig or the makeup, but Zhou Mi’s hands skimming along his hips… that he did. They weren’t totally enclosed, but no one could really see them. Zhou Mi’s back hid them if anyone happened to pop by.
“I wonder what it feels like to kiss?”
His eyebrows rose, as Zhou Mi leaned in closer. “You want to get me in trouble when they have to redo this?”
That thought didn’t keep him from grasping Zhou Mi’s lapels, tasting Zhou Mi’s mouth.
There was the old eyelash-in-the-eye excuse if they got caught standing so close. But unless he’d stopped breathing, there was no excuse for Zhou Mi pressing his mouth to Kyuhyun’s. It was weird and a little different with his lips all slick, the slight cinnamon taste pervading through into his mouth. It wasn’t his favorite sensation, like a barrier that existed between their lips. Still. A bad kiss it was not. He wasn’t sure Zhou Mi could give a bad kiss. And that was less sappiness than it sounded like. It wasn’t something like getting full after a meal. There were acceptable levels of satisfaction, however. He didn’t have to spend quite as much time obsessing since he knew there was going to be no lack of it. Still, he was a glutton. Skinny Zhou Mi and that smile.
He backed up mentally. That was definitely sappy. But it was kind of okay. Because so was the man who sighed against his mouth.
He wanted to spend an hour on Zhou Mi’s bottom lip, but he didn’t think he had the time. Too bad, because it was there, all tempting and sweet, and his hands curled tighter on the front of Zhou Mi’s shirt to hold him there.
They were almost more cuddling than kissing, and he felt heat rising in his face at the way he had just…given in.
“What fascinates you about this so much?” he asked, angling his head back.
“I don’t know… You look younger somehow… More vulnerable.”
“It’s the makeup… I’m not your cute little girlfriend. Wait. Are you saying I look old and invulnerable the rest of the time?”
Zhou Mi laughed. “No. Kui Xian… You… I think you do make people want to protect you. But in these eyes…” Zhou Mi’s fingertips rested at the corner of his lashes. “You see a lot of wisdom... Sorry. I went on…”
“No,” he said, intrigued. “I want to hear more.”
“30 seconds!” someone called.
“Damn it… Later! And by the way… That shade of lipstick looks good on you,” he said, having just enough time to see Zhou Mi bring his fingers to his mouth before he raced to get his face fixed. He could claim he smudged it on a bottle of water or something. Not that he was sucking face with his…
With Zhou Mi.
***
He hated feeling weak. People weren’t quite as quick to look at him with deranged and worried eyes as they had once been if he so much as made a noise. And that was good because he had gotten tired of having to back himself down from feeling smothered and irritated. And grateful, when he was reasonable, but he wasn’t a saint.
But days spent under hot lights, standing for hours, dancing, singing, concentrating. It took its toll on all of them in different ways. Some showed it more than others. Ryeowook seemed to deal with it by trying to take care of all of them, and Siwon wrapping an arm around Hangeng as though they were swapping power. Henry ate and ate and then passed out wherever he was sitting. Donghae got jittery.
And he, he creaked around the apartment like the resident elderly person, at least in his head. No one mentioned it much, too exhausted themselves. But he didn’t feel too bad when he saw Zhou Mi. He had dark eye circles and slightly giving posture, as though holding himself fully upright was a little too much effort.
The whisper and thunk of the closing door of their room was solace. He had nearly fallen asleep under the spray of the shower, catching himself on the wall. He always seemed to catch himself. He had brushed his teeth, sitting on the closed toilet lid as Zhou Mi showered. The curtain all privacy, but he entertained a brief fantasy of yanking it back, luxuriating in Zhou Mi’s yelp, and admiring the wet body. When Zhou Mi had realized he wasn’t going to be able to hurry Kyuhyun out of the bathroom, he’d sent him a very arch look and undressed behind the curtain, tossing his clothes out in a very precise pile. Occasionally they would hear Zhou Mi sing in the shower. Not tonight.
He watched his toothpaste swirl in the bowl of the sink and wondered how much effort he’d have to expend to get his elbows up off of the counter. The water of the shower turned off, and he tried not to imagine the movements that went with the little sounds, Zhou Mi drying, dressing. He felt locked in place as Zhou Mi stepped out, towel on his head. And just leaned there as Zhou Mi dried his hair, brushed his teeth, applied product to his face. Every once in a while their eyes would meet in the mirror and the corner of Zhou Mi’s eyes would crinkle, a little smile. He should’ve stood and walked to their room on his own. But he waited, and they walked together, somehow moving himself upright and letting Donghae into the bathroom behind them. He made a messy pile with his things, unable to really care. His body was crying for sleep, and he crawled into his bed.
His back wept in pleasure and pain as the muscles were allowed to give way.
“Kui Xian…” came the quiet whisper.
“Hmmm?”
A body slid in beside his, and that startled him. But he moaned in pleasure as Zhou Mi’s hand took several solid rubs up and down his back. He turned, getting an arm around Zhou Mi as well, massaging at his spine all while purring into the long neck. He used one of Zhou Mi’s thighs as a pillow between his legs. He didn’t even think it was possible to be that comfortable.
He mumbled something incomprehensible to both of them. He could smell Zhou Mi’s soap and his skin, and feel his warmth radiating against his under the covers. And with his hands tangled in the soft shirt, his mind was off immediately.
***
He half woke, warm, the bed shaking a little, blanket tucked at his shoulder. He sort of realized that it was Zhou Mi climbing out, and made some sort of sound, but lips were pressed to his cheek and he was soothed, and slept deeply after.
***
He woke finally to light, and heat, and an arm weighing down his ribs. Zhou Mi had gotten back in bed it seemed. Not that he minded, really. Considering it, it actually turned him on a little. He rubbed widening circles on the skin of Zhou Mi’s lower back, dipping to grope the firm behind a little as he pressed kisses along Zhou Mi’s throat. He knew the moment Zhou Mi came out of sleep, the unevenness in his breathing as he absorbed how Kyuhyun was touching him. He was all still pliable, letting Kyuhyun roll him onto his back, staring up with sleep fuzzy eyes as Kyuhyun nudged up his shirt. Unless he was much mistaken, they would have enough time to get a little fun in before having to get up. Zhou Mi expelled a quiet croak when he realized just what kind of fun Kyuhyun had in mind, having wriggled both their pants down just far enough for skin against skin. Hands tightened on Kyuhyun’s ribs as his hand closed around them both, teasing, stroking.
A smirk touched Kyuhyun’s lips. “Good morning,” he murmured, and proceeded to try and kiss Zhou Mi senseless.
They moaned, muffled by each other’s mouths, and Zhou Mi’s hands woke with the rest of him, teasing the backs of Kyuhyun’s thighs, his sides, his neck. They had to focus on breathing, and seeing as he was gasping against the man’s cheek, they weren’t doing very well at it. The sounds from Zhou Mi wavered, the body tensing beneath him, and he moaned in triumph, far too ready to led himself go. He gave himself up to the tightness of Zhou Mi’s arms and let himself float for at least a few minutes.
Until the alarm started screaming.
They knocked heads, slapping at it, and Zhou Mi got to it first. They giggled out their panic into each other’s shoulders, all but guffawing at the end as relief settled through them. Well. Zhou Mi gave his version of a giggle, and Kyuhyun would never have called his own laugh a giggle short of gunpoint, and/or a variety show requiring it of him. And even then…
He was kind of uncomfortably aware as they got themselves situated, cleaning, pulling clothes back into place, that Zhou Mi had more or less stayed the night in his bed. Even if it was just a few hours.
“I guess that’s why we have our own beds so we don’t take advantage of the easy access,” he said breezily.
And he didn’t really think anything of the sudden tenseness in Zhou Mi’s posture. They passed the day as normal. Maybe Zhou Mi didn’t smile quite quite as quickly at his quips, but he smiled, and Kyuhyun thought little more on it.
***
The dream did not start out badly… He had Zhou Mi pressed to the wall, hands up his shirt, mouth pressed to his. If all his dreams started that way…
But it went rapidly downhill from there. He heard a sound, wrenching their lips apart to see the gaping Donghae. He wasn’t particularly positive if Donghae was going to go rushing off with the idea that they were going to be doing anything more scandalous than tying knots in each other’s shoelaces. You never could tell…
Until Zhou Mi pushed him away, going to stand with Donghae, with others, who filed out into the dimly lit hall.
Zhou Mi and the group of faceless people were shouting hateful things at him, insulting him, hitting him at the places he was weakest at, places only his own mind would. You’re not perfect, you never will be, damaged, incomplete… Who could want you…
“Shut up!” he screamed back. “You’re not Zhou Mi!” Zhou Mi knew better. Zhou Mi saw him differently. Zhou Mi actually saw him, wanted him, liked him. Zhou Mi took his smiles…
He woke with a gasp, the dream fading, but the sickness not quite fast enough. He ran for the bathroom, not caring what fell behind him, breathing heavily as he stood against the counter. Zhou Mi would never, ever… To each other, they were more than that.
Whatever he had so imprudently knocked over had been neatly put back in place by the cleaning Zhou Mi fairy. Who looked all haggard and bed-worn as he sat on the edge of Kyuhyun’s mattress.
He blinked. Definitely on the edge of the wrong mattress.
“Did you have a bad dream?” Zhou Mi asked, fidgeting as though he knew he wasn’t supposed to be there.
It was like a test of wills, knowing what Zhou Mi smelled like in the hollow of his jaw, what the skin of his ears felt like, the heat of that mouth against his, or around his fingers, or his…
“Not a good dream,” he gruffed out, feeling that truth was the best policy in light of so few believable excuses.
“I’m sorry, Kui Xian. Did you want to talk about it?”
“Not really…”
Rather than waiting for Zhou Mi to move, he just climbed right over, sliding down into the covers. He patted at Zhou Mi’s lower back. “Your feet are going to get cold.”
But to his surprise, Zhou Mi didn’t go back to his bed. He lifted the edge of Kyuhyun’s blankets and slid under without so much as a question, and yes, his feet were cold, since he seemed to be tasked with warming them up with his own.
A light kiss was pressed against his mouth, but it seemed that Zhou Mi…wanted to hold him. He was held solidly with both arms. It felt kind of nice, being held. He didn’t feel awkward or out of place, like this. Even when Zhou Mi fell asleep.
It wasn’t that he was gay. Exactly. It wasn’t something he would ever take to his parents. To his sister. The thought caused a wrenching in his gut that was too close to pain. To see disappointment in their eyes…
“Yes, I’m gay for…”
For the man who seemed to be having a snuffling little dream with his nose poked partway into Kyuhyun’s armpit.
That was all it was, really. Attraction. Respect. Like. A little bit of need. Obvious sexual need.
He bent down his head, sniffing at Zhou Mi’s hair, the scent of it.
Of course he liked girls. Their pretty, slender legs, pretty…
No one would accuse Zhou Mi’s long, somewhat curving legs as being pretty when they were bare. They were man legs, hair, sharp shins, enviably thin thighs. That didn’t keep him from wanting them wrapped around his hips. And he showed off pants like no other, hipbones framing, legs sweeping. And his shoulders in the crisp, button-up shirts, a button or two undone to expose the necklace underneath, or his collarbones…
Had he been thinking about girls?
But the truth was, he had no idea what the future held. Zhou Mi returning to China for good, using all of his charm to win the hearts of everyone. It wasn’t like they could be the traveling Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun show, Sunshine Mimi and his little pet singer. He didn’t even know how that could work out.
Zhou Mi woke, rubbing his head against Kyuhyun’s chest and scooting up to press his mouth to Kyuhyun’s.
As Zhou Mi licked his lips, studying him, he shifted in vague unease. Why was he the subject of such a stare?
“What are you thinking so deeply about?” he was asked, gentle fingers brushing at the shadows beneath his eyes. Of course, of course Zhou Mi would see it.
“Just stupid stuff. Future stuff.”
“Ah…” Soft lips molded to his for a moment more. “Someone very wise told me once that we can only deal with our present, and our future when we get to it.”
“But if it’s not dealt with…”
“Will worrying solve it?”
“No…” He sort of saw Zhou Mi’s point. “Okay.”
Pushing away Zhou Mi now because he might have to at some unknown future date…
All was fine now, he argued, when he had all his shields and protections, and it wouldn’t hurt him because he didn’t even have a name or a location for the increasingly tangled knot inside himself. The one that coiled and sprouted because Zhou Mi leaned into his kisses, and shuddered at softly spoken words, and was inexplicably aroused by him…
The problem with situations like theirs, the little annoying I-told-you-so part of himself was crowing, was that someone inevitably ended up with expectations. And he wasn’t nearly egotistical enough to think it couldn’t be him. And no one who felt Zhou Mi’s body curve against theirs like he had, with all those smiles and guarantees of belonging could hold out.
It was so sappy he wanted to go and gag, but he was too busy contemplating gagging Zhou Mi with his tongue.
And though the kiss ended up being exploring rather than aggressive, and that was fine as well.
“Kui Xian, I wanted to ask you something about, well…Us.”
“Could it wait?” he muttered, distracted by Zhou Mi’s chin. “Maybe tomorrow, or something.”
Zhou Mi was strangely silent for a moment. “I guess. I wish…I could worry for you,” he whispered, causing something inside of him to twist awkwardly.
“You would get ulcers, and you’re skinny enough already,” he said, poking the flat stomach.
Zhou Mi laughed, cuddling closer until one of Kyuhyun’s thighs was between his. The stroking on his hair and neck had his consciousness wobbling, and for a second he realized Zhou Mi was still in his bed with him. But he didn’t have any real thought to kick him out, as the darkness beckoned and he fell asleep.
He woke slowly, rolling his face into his pillow. At first, he didn’t really think of it, until he focused on his cool hand. Zhou Mi had been there when he had fallen asleep. He shot half upright, sweeping the edge of his bed before seeing Zhou Mi’s sleeping form…in his own bed. Had he asked him to leave? Kyuhyun wondered. Though considering what he’d been worried about, he supposed it was the best thing. But he felt sort of ridiculously…abandoned. And also sort of worried. Did he smell or something?
But a cursory sniff of his arm led him to think there wasn’t any untoward odors hanging about. Perhaps Zhou Mi was offended that he’d fallen asleep so abruptly. But who wouldn’t, with Zhou Mi’s big paw stroking their hair? He scowled at the other bed.
Of course he laughed, as two seconds later they both jumped as a bunch of rhythmic beating sounded on their door in indication they were supposed to get up. Zhou Mi moaned, trying to fit his head beneath his pillow.
“That hasn’t worked the last hundred times you’ve tried,” Kyuhyun told him, standing to see what clothes he had that he could just toss onto his body. He was half dressed and Zhou Mi was still barely moving to get out from under the covers. He rocked the bed with his foot, and got a reproachful groan.
“Sun’s up, sleepyhead,” he said.
Zhou Mi squinted at Kyuhyun’s face as he sat up. “Ugh.”
“What’s with you this morning?” He was usually a slow riser, but this was pushing even that.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” was the croaking answer.
He had to turn back around as that thought sank into him. Maybe Zhou Mi had stayed in his bed, but because of Kyuhyun’s presence he hadn’t been able to sleep and had to go back to his own bed to try and get some rest. Some people just really didn’t like sleeping next to others. Maybe Zhou Mi was one of those. Maybe… Maybe…
Maybe the sun smelled like oranges. Who knew.
But Zhou Mi did sleep the entire way to the studio, head lolling onto Kyuhyun’s shoulder as their manager briefed them. So he figured he must not be that offensive. He was supposed to be listening to tell Zhou Mi what they would be doing, but by the time they hopped out of the van at the studio, details had started to leak out of his head. Zhou Mi adjusted his sunglasses and beamed him a half smile, and they followed the others in.
***
