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coley_merrinTime Imperfect
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Drama
Summary: What if the one you loved would die tomorrow because of a mistake you made almost 10 years before? What if you could go back to correct it, even if going back meant that there was no guarantee that you could return to your rightful time… or to the one you loved?
Chapter Six – Take Me Back
***
*PAST – Conrad*
***
Yozak had come to his room to fetch him, the rest they had sent him to by force, to let him know that Anissina was close to finishing the goblet. There had been little rest for him anyway.
“My only hope was to find the etching,” Conrad said as he paced. “Anissina can reform the cup, and we can etch the engraving on it again. It… it’s the only hope I have.”
Yozak stared long and hard at him. “You seem taken beyond all reason with this goblet, speaking of it as if it were going to save your life. What about it do you know that we don’t? You have the Maou staring after you with fear in his eyes! He half thinks you’re going mad, or going to disappear. And as he’s asked me to keep an eye on you… I can’t say I disagree with him.”
“If this doesn’t work, Yozak, you may see worse from me yet. You may lock me up when you hear what I have to tell you. And I will tell you… But not until I am sure there is no other way. It’s not sinister, and don’t be afraid. I have no intention of going anywhere. I will be at Yuuri’s side… One way or another.”
He stopped still as the footsteps echoed in the hallway.
“We have the translation and the goblet,” Annissina announced, flanked by two men who each bore one of them.
Conrad pushed himself to his feet, feeling at once old, and very weary. After this there were no chances left. He held out his hand for the paper, nearly snatched it back before taking it. He motioned Yozak to take the goblet and dismissed the messengers. Annissina, Murata edging in behind her, and Yuuri pressing through. It seemed he would have an audience. He glanced at Yuuri once before looking down.
He read through it quickly, then again, reading aloud for Yozak’s benefit and forming the words as though the meanings were unfamiliar to him.
“Blood from blood
And bound in time
This chalice cries
For twisted vine.”
It was irony, irony written on a cursed goblet, a verse of the desire for wine. It spoke nothing of what brought him to this place in time. It could have been cursed for hundreds of years, from its very formation. Only then would the verse make sense, taunting the owner to drink from it, and fall victim to it.
No one was meant to go back into the past to change the events… No one would have been meant to give the accursed goblet to a loved one and then see them snatched from them because of it. Yuuri would live to see his twenty-sixth year. He would be there to see him, in cape and crown, addressing the room… Regal. All that was regal.
“Conrad?”
Conrad shook himself from his thoughts. The goblet sat dark in Yozak’s hand, elegant and unthreatening. He could say honestly now that he hated that goblet. He briefly thought of sending for wine, but discarded the idea. It didn’t matter what liquid was in there, so long as he drank from it. He gingerly poured an inch of water from the pitcher into the goblet, careful not to touch it while it still sat in Yozak’s hands.
The pitcher was sat with a clunk on the side table. His fingers trembled, noticeably, as he reached for the goblet, and it was all he could see. The fingers of both hands curled around it, and his eyes closed, conjuring up the image of Yuuri in his mind. Yuuri, kind and full of life. Yuuri, rash and loving. Yuuri, lusty and his… His as much as any king was any one person’s. He was the one who shared his bed, he was the one who shared his life, his secrets, his love.
“Take me back,” he whispered furiously in his mind. “I belong to him.”
And placing the goblet to his lips, he drank. He shuddered; The water was bitter. He waited, opened his eyes. And saw four pairs of eyes studying him with interest and concern.
He looked to Yuuri, always to Yuuri, and saw his name, did not hear it, as Yuuri a day from the age of sixteen called out for him.
It didn’t work, his mind pronounced. It didn’t work. It didn’t work!
He did the only thing he could: he ran. Pushing past Murata, he levered himself off of the opposite wall and through the corridor. His stomach was bucking inside of him, the bitter taste of bile burning in his throat. The walls were too close. He couldn’t breathe, even as he moved, he couldn’t take his breath. Was someone calling his name? He couldn’t…
He burst through the outside doors, the balcony wide and curved and open. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath as he braced himself up against the stones.
He knelt there, in the midst of the balcony, and held the goblet close. Rain stung his eyes as it fell, streaming in rivulets down his skin, but he barely noticed it except to blink it away. He could only beg. He had never regretted his human blood like this.
“Please. Return me to him.”
He knelt until he shivered, until rain was mixed with bitter tears and gentle hands led him in out of the cold.
***
They had left him in a comfortable chair, festooned in his room with a blanket over his lap like an aged man. It was Yuuri who stayed with him, who sent the rest away. He held a tea cup, a pair to the one that sat near Conrad’s hand. Oddly enough he did not feel broken. Somehow, he felt numb, with just a crackle of pain as he smiled for the benefit of the young maou’s serious face.
“Don’t worry, Heika. I’m sorry that I worried you.”
Yuuri’s hand tightened over his.
“You were in pain, Conrad. You’re *hurting.* Why am I not supposed to worry? You won’t say a word as to what the goblet is about. Don’t you *trust* me?!”
“Yuuri.” He laid his free hand over Yuuri’s, feeling regret at the trouble he had caused him. Remorse he would deal with later. “I do, but…”
“What am I to you?” Yuuri blurted out, looking half as though his mouth had gotten the best of him, and half on edge for an answer. “You named me. You… When I arrived, you saved me, you… You apologized to me for the goblet, but it was like you didn’t know me.”
“You are someone very precious to me,” Conrad answered, measuring care with feeling. “Yuuri… Yuuri is someone very precious to me.”
More precious than the boy beside him could fathom, though Conrad had always tried to show his loyalty, which was rooted in affection and had grown to love. There was nothing in his life more precious than laying close to Yuuri, listening to the life of the man beside him, who had come to this world to fill a hole that seemed that it could not be filled… to become king, and yet there were many other spaces to fill, until he grew and rooted, and twined himself in until it seemed that that space had held Yuuri always.
“Don’t worry for me. The goblet… I was overwrought with guilt and trying to save you.” He pressed the young man’s hand. “I’ll be beside you. I am not trying to leave you. I can’t speak of what caused my reaction today, I can’t tell you its cause. Someday soon, perhaps. But I don’t yet understand it. Can you accept that?”
He peered down into Yuuri’s eyes and saw the beginnings of a smile. “Then I’ll just have to take care of you until you’re able to tell me.” He sighed, and let his cheek rest on Conrad’s forearm. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”
“I know, Yuuri.”
He stopped himself before he bent to kiss the tousled head, but he felt the warmth and the closeness of the child that soothed a corner of him that wanted to scream.
He left Yuuri asleep in the chair, walked to the wide window and stared up. The sky had cleared, and the stars shone, and they looked as they always had. Tomorrow was Yuuri’s birthday. Yuuri would make his choice, and with all his heart Conrad had renewed his pledge to stay protect and serve him. He would renew that pledge tomorrow. And somehow he knew that from that there was no return to his own time, after that he had no chance at all. He could not pledge to this boy, and divide himself further. He could pledge himself with a whole heart, without regret, when there was nothing left to do.
When he closed his eyes, he could still feel the embrace, the feel of Yuuri’s arms around his neck, pushing himself up those few inches he had strived to grow but never gained. He had to go up on tiptoes to reach Conrad’s mouth without accommodation. But Conrad would not have changed that, not for anything. Not the low groan that rumbled through Yuuri’s chest and into Conrad, as if he were that happy just to be near him. Not the way Yuuri clung to him, or the way Yuuri would come to him and rest his chin on his shoulder from behind.
But he wondered how long it would be before those feelings faded. Hadn’t it been just a week ago, all that was innocent, that Yuuri had scrubbed his back in the bath? Or had that been some other life.
Or had that been this life? If this was to be his life now, here, watching over Yuuri… There was nothing to do but to finish what he had been given. He had carried that soul, and he would do what was right by Yuuri. No matter what, he would do right by Yuuri, even if it meant staying here to do it.
And as the determination in his heart spoke louder than his longing for his own time, he scarcely felt some of his memories begin to crumble away.
***
Chapter Seven
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Drama
Summary: What if the one you loved would die tomorrow because of a mistake you made almost 10 years before? What if you could go back to correct it, even if going back meant that there was no guarantee that you could return to your rightful time… or to the one you loved?
Chapter Six – Take Me Back
***
*PAST – Conrad*
***
Yozak had come to his room to fetch him, the rest they had sent him to by force, to let him know that Anissina was close to finishing the goblet. There had been little rest for him anyway.
“My only hope was to find the etching,” Conrad said as he paced. “Anissina can reform the cup, and we can etch the engraving on it again. It… it’s the only hope I have.”
Yozak stared long and hard at him. “You seem taken beyond all reason with this goblet, speaking of it as if it were going to save your life. What about it do you know that we don’t? You have the Maou staring after you with fear in his eyes! He half thinks you’re going mad, or going to disappear. And as he’s asked me to keep an eye on you… I can’t say I disagree with him.”
“If this doesn’t work, Yozak, you may see worse from me yet. You may lock me up when you hear what I have to tell you. And I will tell you… But not until I am sure there is no other way. It’s not sinister, and don’t be afraid. I have no intention of going anywhere. I will be at Yuuri’s side… One way or another.”
He stopped still as the footsteps echoed in the hallway.
“We have the translation and the goblet,” Annissina announced, flanked by two men who each bore one of them.
Conrad pushed himself to his feet, feeling at once old, and very weary. After this there were no chances left. He held out his hand for the paper, nearly snatched it back before taking it. He motioned Yozak to take the goblet and dismissed the messengers. Annissina, Murata edging in behind her, and Yuuri pressing through. It seemed he would have an audience. He glanced at Yuuri once before looking down.
He read through it quickly, then again, reading aloud for Yozak’s benefit and forming the words as though the meanings were unfamiliar to him.
“Blood from blood
And bound in time
This chalice cries
For twisted vine.”
It was irony, irony written on a cursed goblet, a verse of the desire for wine. It spoke nothing of what brought him to this place in time. It could have been cursed for hundreds of years, from its very formation. Only then would the verse make sense, taunting the owner to drink from it, and fall victim to it.
No one was meant to go back into the past to change the events… No one would have been meant to give the accursed goblet to a loved one and then see them snatched from them because of it. Yuuri would live to see his twenty-sixth year. He would be there to see him, in cape and crown, addressing the room… Regal. All that was regal.
“Conrad?”
Conrad shook himself from his thoughts. The goblet sat dark in Yozak’s hand, elegant and unthreatening. He could say honestly now that he hated that goblet. He briefly thought of sending for wine, but discarded the idea. It didn’t matter what liquid was in there, so long as he drank from it. He gingerly poured an inch of water from the pitcher into the goblet, careful not to touch it while it still sat in Yozak’s hands.
The pitcher was sat with a clunk on the side table. His fingers trembled, noticeably, as he reached for the goblet, and it was all he could see. The fingers of both hands curled around it, and his eyes closed, conjuring up the image of Yuuri in his mind. Yuuri, kind and full of life. Yuuri, rash and loving. Yuuri, lusty and his… His as much as any king was any one person’s. He was the one who shared his bed, he was the one who shared his life, his secrets, his love.
“Take me back,” he whispered furiously in his mind. “I belong to him.”
And placing the goblet to his lips, he drank. He shuddered; The water was bitter. He waited, opened his eyes. And saw four pairs of eyes studying him with interest and concern.
He looked to Yuuri, always to Yuuri, and saw his name, did not hear it, as Yuuri a day from the age of sixteen called out for him.
It didn’t work, his mind pronounced. It didn’t work. It didn’t work!
He did the only thing he could: he ran. Pushing past Murata, he levered himself off of the opposite wall and through the corridor. His stomach was bucking inside of him, the bitter taste of bile burning in his throat. The walls were too close. He couldn’t breathe, even as he moved, he couldn’t take his breath. Was someone calling his name? He couldn’t…
He burst through the outside doors, the balcony wide and curved and open. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath as he braced himself up against the stones.
He knelt there, in the midst of the balcony, and held the goblet close. Rain stung his eyes as it fell, streaming in rivulets down his skin, but he barely noticed it except to blink it away. He could only beg. He had never regretted his human blood like this.
“Please. Return me to him.”
He knelt until he shivered, until rain was mixed with bitter tears and gentle hands led him in out of the cold.
***
They had left him in a comfortable chair, festooned in his room with a blanket over his lap like an aged man. It was Yuuri who stayed with him, who sent the rest away. He held a tea cup, a pair to the one that sat near Conrad’s hand. Oddly enough he did not feel broken. Somehow, he felt numb, with just a crackle of pain as he smiled for the benefit of the young maou’s serious face.
“Don’t worry, Heika. I’m sorry that I worried you.”
Yuuri’s hand tightened over his.
“You were in pain, Conrad. You’re *hurting.* Why am I not supposed to worry? You won’t say a word as to what the goblet is about. Don’t you *trust* me?!”
“Yuuri.” He laid his free hand over Yuuri’s, feeling regret at the trouble he had caused him. Remorse he would deal with later. “I do, but…”
“What am I to you?” Yuuri blurted out, looking half as though his mouth had gotten the best of him, and half on edge for an answer. “You named me. You… When I arrived, you saved me, you… You apologized to me for the goblet, but it was like you didn’t know me.”
“You are someone very precious to me,” Conrad answered, measuring care with feeling. “Yuuri… Yuuri is someone very precious to me.”
More precious than the boy beside him could fathom, though Conrad had always tried to show his loyalty, which was rooted in affection and had grown to love. There was nothing in his life more precious than laying close to Yuuri, listening to the life of the man beside him, who had come to this world to fill a hole that seemed that it could not be filled… to become king, and yet there were many other spaces to fill, until he grew and rooted, and twined himself in until it seemed that that space had held Yuuri always.
“Don’t worry for me. The goblet… I was overwrought with guilt and trying to save you.” He pressed the young man’s hand. “I’ll be beside you. I am not trying to leave you. I can’t speak of what caused my reaction today, I can’t tell you its cause. Someday soon, perhaps. But I don’t yet understand it. Can you accept that?”
He peered down into Yuuri’s eyes and saw the beginnings of a smile. “Then I’ll just have to take care of you until you’re able to tell me.” He sighed, and let his cheek rest on Conrad’s forearm. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”
“I know, Yuuri.”
He stopped himself before he bent to kiss the tousled head, but he felt the warmth and the closeness of the child that soothed a corner of him that wanted to scream.
He left Yuuri asleep in the chair, walked to the wide window and stared up. The sky had cleared, and the stars shone, and they looked as they always had. Tomorrow was Yuuri’s birthday. Yuuri would make his choice, and with all his heart Conrad had renewed his pledge to stay protect and serve him. He would renew that pledge tomorrow. And somehow he knew that from that there was no return to his own time, after that he had no chance at all. He could not pledge to this boy, and divide himself further. He could pledge himself with a whole heart, without regret, when there was nothing left to do.
When he closed his eyes, he could still feel the embrace, the feel of Yuuri’s arms around his neck, pushing himself up those few inches he had strived to grow but never gained. He had to go up on tiptoes to reach Conrad’s mouth without accommodation. But Conrad would not have changed that, not for anything. Not the low groan that rumbled through Yuuri’s chest and into Conrad, as if he were that happy just to be near him. Not the way Yuuri clung to him, or the way Yuuri would come to him and rest his chin on his shoulder from behind.
But he wondered how long it would be before those feelings faded. Hadn’t it been just a week ago, all that was innocent, that Yuuri had scrubbed his back in the bath? Or had that been some other life.
Or had that been this life? If this was to be his life now, here, watching over Yuuri… There was nothing to do but to finish what he had been given. He had carried that soul, and he would do what was right by Yuuri. No matter what, he would do right by Yuuri, even if it meant staying here to do it.
And as the determination in his heart spoke louder than his longing for his own time, he scarcely felt some of his memories begin to crumble away.
***
Chapter Seven
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Date: 2008-05-05 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 07:44 pm (UTC)