[Fic] Black Satin - 3/14
Jun. 17th, 2010 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coley_merrinTitle: Black Satin
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four
***
Kyuhyun wondered if there was some ritual for the first day that someone dressed up like a woman. Was there something he was supposed to do that he just wasn’t aware of? Probably not. But he still couldn’t help but wonder. He stared up at the sky as though paying attention to the weather was going to help him in some way through the night.
Zhou Mi promised to ease him into it, packing him into the car with an air of calm like he was sending his child off to his first day of school. His shoulders felt about up to his ears with tension, and his stomach, despite Zhou Mi’s carefully prepared meal, was grumbling. He put on some kind of music for the drive, not caring he was messing with Zhou Mi’s radio. He just needed something to distract himself. Something that wasn’t cutesy little girl pop songs or sobbing violins. Or whatever was on cd three that was no language he’d ever heard.
Zhou Mi grabbed his hand on its way back to his lap from the radio, and his head nearly shot through the roof.
“Don’t worry, okay? You can stay with me tonight, so it’ll be fine.”
“S-sure,” he stuttered and figured his idiot response didn’t make Zhou Mi feel any better about the situation.
If people at the club had been curious before, having him show up with Zhou Mi a second time definitely encouraged it. He got introduced to no less than ten men in various stages of makeup and clothing, one in little more than a slip on the way to put on the dress he was holding. It was like staring into a circus mirror, and he wasn’t sure which direction was up. Lots of male voices and male laughter and male humor, and a lot of silk and skirts. Zhou Mi worked on himself first, at the makeup tables, brightly lit, long mirrors, with a little case he’d pulled from his locker. Kyuhyun got chatted up by a couple of the friendlier ones. He figured Zhou Mi would help if he needed it. It wasn’t like being asked where Zhou Mi had found him was scary or anything. He was probably checking them out as much as they were him. Some of them were kind of cute.
They were shooed away as Zhou Mi got him into a chair, hmming as he turned Kyuhyun’s face back and forth. He got a full look at Zhou Mi’s makeup then, gloss barely pinker than his lips and sort of understated and pretty. And he was was impressed despite himself, at least until Zhou Mi started talking.
“Your face is set up in a masculine way, but your features aren’t as pronounced as mine. So, really, you’ll have an even easier time.”
He blinked. “What are you saying? I have feminine features?”
“No,” Zhou Mi laughed. “But you could be given the illusion of them.”
“Wonderful.”
“AI can do something simple for you tonight. A little mascara, and…”
Zhou Mi’s makeup was effortless, no harsh areas of color, no garish lines. Everything that was there did what Zhou Mi had said, softened his face slightly. Zhou Mi made it sound so innocuous, as he poked and teased. Just a little makeup, Kui Xian.
“Fine,” he agreed, begrudging. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known it was coming.
And he nearly got a pair of clapped hands in response.
“I don’t usually do this for others,” Zhou Mi said. “So forgive me if I’m a little slow.”
It wasn’t as though he’d ever had mascara and blush and lipstick put on. Or the fake eyelashes Zhou Mi had bullied him to stay still for. He’d asked if those were strictly necessary, and Zhou Mi had all but slapped his hand.
“Yes. It’s just another layer of femininity. Men don’t have eyelashes like these.”
“Women don’t have eyelashes like these,” he said, and tested the weight of them.
And then Zhou Mi had brought out the wig, and he had almost balked. The soft, dark brown waves, the length of it, was not something he’d have considered for himself. But Zhou Mi had not taken no for an answer, pinning back what hair he wanted out of the way, and sliding the cap of the wig firmly into place.
“What?” he asked, as Zhou Mi sighed. “What’s wrong?”
“I really hate myself sometimes,” Zhou Mi said. “But this is… You’re perfect.”
“Was I rotten fish before? Can I see?”
“You can see.”
Strangely, his eyes went to Zhou Mi in the mirror first, the tilted head, the parted mouth. And then wondered who the heck it was beside him. No, he still didn’t look at himself and see “woman.” But if he’d seen a picture, he wouldn’t have immediately recognized himself either. But no, when his hand moved, so did the one in the mirror. Oh. He had no idea what he was doing at all.
“It’s weird. It’s like I’m not even myself any more,” he said, and tilted his chin.
Zhou Mi turned him quite gently, warm fingers against his blush-enhanced cheeks. “For a lot of us, it’s just what is on the outside. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you act, it’s still you. You’re no different than an actor in a film, who has to go back to being himself when the cameras are off. The illusion is only what you make of it,” Zhou Mi said, and let Kyuhyun’s face go.
He wondered if he imagined the regret in that, or if what he felt was his own.
Zhou Mi led him to a room partitioned into multiple closets, all but bursting with shoes and clothes. Unapologetically he closed and locked one of them with the excuse that it was Kyuhyun’s first day. Kyuhyun didn’t mind that at all.
“You don’t have gigantic feet, so that will make it easier,” Zhou Mi said, considering him. “But you have nice legs, so we’ll put you in pants for today.”
No one wanted hairy legs and a skirt, he supposed. Even if “skirt” made him a little flippy in his stomach. There was also a small forest of bras and corresponding breast forms. It was like someone had deconstructed several women’s closets and bodies, which was kind of creepy if someone bothered to ask him.
Oh. He. Was going to have breasts? Fake ones! He assured himself. Very fake. Jiggly and fake. With Kyuhyun’s waist measurement, Zhou Mi went humming into the abyss, emerging with a couple pairs of pants that he held up. One was kind of a skinny jean with sparkles on the back pocket, and the other slacks. Zhou Mi opted for the jeans.
“Put these on,” Zhou Mi ordered, turning for the shirts. He knew they were alone in the room, but he still kind of turned away to drop his own pants and shimmy into the jeans. Length-wise, they fit pretty well. Maybe the tiniest bit tight at the waist, but nothing that would impair him or anything. He stared down at his plain white socks through the tips of his wig and wondered again what he was getting himself into.
“Shirt,” Zhou Mi instructed, and Kyuhyun realized that he was being told to take his off. Which he did. Very carefully. Zhou Mi nodded, cool fingers pressing against the skin of his chest. He was glad he’d liberally applied the deodorant, or he’d have been a sloppy, stinky mess. Even so, he could tell he was a little sweaty. Bras were kind of unfamiliar contraptions to him. He hadn’t put one on before, that was for sure. He hadn’t even taken one off someone else, so he was really in a pickle. But Zhou Mi slid the simple nude-colored tangle of straps and cups around him, fixing it firmly and drawing the straps up Kyuhyun’s suddenly ungainly arms. He stared at the ceiling for strength. When everything was adjusted to Zhou Mi’s satisfaction, the slightly squishy skin-toned confections that were going to fill out the bra were tucked in. They weren’t heavy, really. Just sort of…there.
“Hey!” Zhou Mi said as Kyuhyun lifted his hands to grope his own chest.
“What?” he yelped, freezing. What had he done wrong?
“Breathe, Kui Xian. I’m just teasing you. You can touch them.”
“You could kill someone like that!” he barked, slapping Zhou Mi’s arm a bit harder than he’d intended. Zhou Mi just kind of giggled and went back to dragging a shirt off of a hanger. Strangely, he did feel kind of better. Maybe it was the twin stress balls he was squeezing on his chest though.
Obediently, his arms went up as the shirt slid down. It was a glittering shade of green, dark. Not sequined, but shot through with some kind of sparkle. The sleeves, kind of soft and flowing, fell a little past his elbow. The rest was gathered at his waist with the attached belt. And then he noticed the v-neck.
“I have cleavage,” he said flatly. And then barely held himself in as the urge hit to howl with laughter. He had woken up in Wonderland. There just wasn’t any other explanation. Zhou Mi sort of patted at him and started handing him shoes to try on.
They settled on a pair of ankle boots with low heels, wider, Zhou Mi explained, for stability. And then, only then, did he see the full picture. Standing in front of the full-length mirror with a dopey gaping expression on his face. Where he expected some slouching post-college punk, he saw a girlish looking thing with long hair and just-too-wide shoulders. Long legs, skinny feet, and the illusion of a waist from the belted shirt. Even his “breasts” looked pretty good. Though he kind of wiggled his shoulders to see if anything would pop out.
“You’re sure no one’s going to see something?” he asked, staring down into his cleavage.
“Not unless you let someone get that far into your shirt,” Zhou Mi said, laughing a bit.
Of course, when he got back to doing something that wasn’t gawking at his own, unfamiliar body, he realized Zhou Mi was dressing right behind him. Which meant he got a glimpse, and how could anyone’s legs be that long, of pale skin as a skirt was being pulled on over some kind of hosiery. Over, and up. And up. On any normal sized person, the skirt was probably more decently long. On Zhou Mi, it was a few inches away from being a bit miniature.
“You shave your legs?” he asked idly, staring at Zhou Mi’s calves. He ignored the part of him that was a bit grumpy that they looked little thicker than his upper arms.
“Mmhmm,” Zhou Mi said, slipping his shirt off. “Most everyone shaves their legs if they’re in dresses or skirts. Some wax, but I have a pretty strict no-pain policy. It’s pretty easy to keep up if you maintain it. And you don’t have to every day. If you wear something on your legs, tights or leggings or pants, then you can get away with going a few days in between. It’s all about planning.”
Great. Planning when to shave his legs. That wouldn’t make him look like that in a skirt, though.
Of course, if he thought that was it, he was mistaken. Zhou Mi hemmed and hawed and got a necklace around Kyuhyun’s neck and a couple of bangle bracelets on one wrist.
“I don’t really have time to do anything about your nails, but they’re not ragged or anything, so you should be fine.”
Zhou Mi was poking earrings into his own ears, but didn’t seem to think Kyuhyun required any. Which was fine. He liked his earlobes just as they were. Zhou Mi wore boots too, taller ones, but also with short heels. He’d be some kind of epic giant in five inch heels, Kyuhyun thought with amusement. And the grin Zhou Mi gave him let him know that he knew just exactly what Kyuhyun was thinking. With the subtile makeup and the almost-slipping-off-one-shoulder white shirt, it gave Zhou Mi an almost virginal look. At least until he got to the skirt, anyway. He tore his eyes away from Zhou Mi’s collar bone and the unfamiliar hint of bosom. Of course, even so, with his hands and face, he still looked like a man.
“You don’t look entirely like a girl,” he mused, and then sort of cursed himself that he’d said it out loud.
Zhou Mi cocked his head, making his earrings swing, grin flashing. “That’s actually a compliment,” he said. “I’d get teased growing up, so hearing that I look manly enough is a good thing!”
Definitely manly enough. It even kept his knees from knocking, and forgetting how he was dressed. He resisted the urge to pat his crotch as he followed Zhou Mi out, just to let his brain know that yes, everything was as it should be.
They’d been over about a hundred do’s and don’t’s but Zhou Mi seemed to have left one thing in particular for last.
“Just a few things before we go out,” Zhou Mi said, settling Kyuhyun in a chair and sitting next to him. “You just never talk about sex to the men, ever. If you find one who wants to talk about what they want to do to you, it’s fine to let them ramble for a little while. Get them a drink, let them indulge, but don’t banter back. Most times they’ll get the idea and change the topic. But if they try to start pressing you about doing those things, just say “I have to decline.” And turn the conversation to something else, their job or something you’ve discussed before.”
“What if sex is all they discussed before?”
“Then ask what movies they enjoy or if they enjoy long walks in nature, or something to move the conversation along.”
“They’ll just twist that back to sex,” Kyuhyun said sagely. He wasn’t a man for nothing.
“Maybe,” Zhou Mi agreed. “And you can always play them a song, or sing, or something that keeps them from talking. It’s pretty rare that someone is like that, though. Most customers know how it should be. I’m not going to leave you alone tonight, so you don’t have to worry, but I just wanted to kind of point that out.”
“Okay.”
Dressed like this, he was going to go out there and be what? A questionably attractive companion. Or maybe just a friendly ear. He was just a man, who was dressed out of the norm, for himself at least. It was inevitable that his horizons were going to expand, and what better way than to plunge into it himself.
“Come on,” Zhou Mi said, the door opening to allow some of the others to pass.
It didn’t look like the strip clubs he’d seen in movies, all dark with mood light lighting and pounding bass. It wasn’t brightly lit, but it was kind of like a high end restaurant, only there was no clink of silver on china to accompany the low conversation and music. There were comfortable seats gathered, some in twos or threes. There was even a small settee set up in front of a television, and small banquettes of seats facing each other along the perimeter.
“There are very few times we talk with someone very long in one night, or even in a week,” Zhou Mi said, guiding him with cool fingers threaded through his. “Maybe we are an illusion, but a very temporary one. The last thing we want is someone getting jealous and angry and falling in love.”
“In what order?” he asked.
Zhou Mi just smiled and tugged him along. “May we sit with you a while?” he asked a man who had just been served a drink.
The man’s eyes slid from Zhou Mi, very tall and proper, to him, hanging back a bit like a recalcitrant puppy at the end of Zhou Mi’s leash. How did women do this? He felt like he was panting and his new fake chest was heaving around like a ship on a rolling wave. Secure, but still so out there. They were invited to sit, and Kyuhyun felt like the prize bull on display as Zhou Mi chatted, trying not to slouch or twist his fingers into complicated knots in his lap.
He couldn’t help but glance at Zhou Mi, at the damn dangling earrings. He couldn’t say those thrilled him. He liked the studs, for some reason more, had imagined once nipping the earlobe around them. Not that he’d every admit that out loud, seeing as he’d barely admitted it to himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t know he was attracted to guys, but Zhou Mi just wasn’t his type. Except in all the ways that he was.
It wasn’t until the second man that they sat down with that Zhou Mi urged him to speak, a hand distractingly as support on Kyuhyun’s lower back. They talked about the city, traffic. The man lamenting about his job and the subway. And after Kyuhyun got over the first few moments of panic, he realized it wasn’t as though he needed to talk about molecular biology with anyone. They were just ordinary men. So he sympathized with the guy as much as he could, and got a glowing amount of praise from Zhou Mi as they walked away.
He stared at the clock on the wall. Quite some time left. But, at least Zhou Mi was with him.
***
When they got home, in their regular clothes and sans any sort of makeup or adornment, he sent Zhou Mi ahead to shower first. Even if there were two rooms, there was only the one bathroom, so he just fiddled around on the internet until he heard the door open and saw Zhou Mi come out. It was a little hazy on the mirror because Zhou Mi had a love of hot showers. The little pots and bottles that Zhou Mi collected were on their little stand, and the ones that Zhou Mi had suggested for him in their own little area. An endless supply of body lotion, razors, and shaving cream. If he thought about it, it was kind of weird how much stuff they shared. The soap in the shower, cosmetics…. It wasn’t like they shared a toothbrush or anything. But it was still a little odd. It was like they were dating, only without the relationship and sex benefits. And considering that option made him squirm inside, too.
“Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi called out when he’d barely made it out of the bathroom. “Can you come in here?”
The bed was kind of adorably rumpled, and Zhou Mi adorably rumpled in it. And he’d opened a spot beside himself that he was patting and inviting Kyuhyun onto, holding open the covers so Kyuhyun could keep his feet warm. When the blanket dropped, it was like they were in a little cocoon, whether they were closed in fully or not.
“What’s up?” he asked, when Zhou Mi didn’t say something right away. Crawling into someone else’s bed wasn’t exactly something he did on a daily basis. Though, compared to his pallet on the floor, Zhou Mi’s cushy mattress and the warmth of the blankets was something he could get real used to, real fast.
“I just wanted to ask you about tonight, what you were thinking. I didn’t want to ask you there, and maybe I should wait until you have a chance to think about it, but… Yeah.”
Zhou Mi sounded so earnest about it. As though he expected that Kyuhyun would be utterly disgruntled and traumatized. Part of the reason he wasn’t was the fact that he had been with Zhou Mi. It wasn’t like he could say what he’d run into the next time or the time after that. He wasn’t interested in any of the men they’d talked to tonight, and the men had seemed to know not to press him too much. The one he’d sung for, he’d had a hard time not looking at Zhou Mi while he was doing it. Even when Zhou Mi had pulled him aside right after to tell him how much he’d enjoyed it.
And Zhou Mi had insisted on splitting his wage and tips with Kyuhyun, and even when they’d agreed on a percentage that had netted him a couple hundred dollars. He swallowed hard when he pictured the money. It had all gone back to Zhou Mi, of course, the first part of his rent payment. At that rate, he’d only have to work two or three nights a week to make his rent and have money left over. If he could just save some up, he could start looking for a different job. He didn’t think it was something he could do forever. It just wasn’t in his personality. But now, while he had little option, he thought he might be able to. No one was in his face trying to tell him that he had to change his personality.
“I think it went okay, today. I mean, it’d be different if it was just me by myself, but…”
“But I’d always be there,” Zhou Mi assured him. “Even if I wasn’t sitting with you, if you had questions, you could always come to me, or to someone else, really. Everyone was starting out once.”
“Yeah, but some of you aren’t quite as awkward…”
“But that’s what makes us unique. No one wants a bunch of carbon copies running around. Every person in there is different in some way.”
“Mmhmm,” he murmured, digging his knuckles into the side of his head to keep from wanting to drift into sleep. “It’s kind of like being stuck with a chatty person on a plane. You show them some attention, and hope they get involved with sleeping or reading after a while. Only this time, you get to stand up and leave after a while, or after they leave.”
“That’s one way to look at it,” Zhou Mi agreed. “I’m glad. I didn’t want today to be hard for you in any way. It’s not something that’s for everyone, but I didn’t want you to think badly of it.”
If he had thought about it in a bad light, maybe he’d have thought about Zhou Mi the same way. Yeah, he could see what Zhou Mi was getting at. But he thought he had a pretty open mind. A lot of it he just didn’t know much about.
“As long as it doesn’t bother you for me to be there. I don’t want to add a burden on you in addition to this.”
“Thanks for thinking of me, Kui Xian. But you’re not a burden. It was fun to help you get ready today. I don’t really have a…friend there, so to have someone to talk with about it is… It’s nice.”
“Good.”
“And you really did look good today. I’ll help you next time. You’ll just be stunning.”
He chuckled into the pillow, swearing he was going to move at any second. Seriously, any second.
He registered Zhou Mi softly saying, “Sleep well, Kui Xian,” and the blanket being tucked up at his shoulder. And he gave in to the warmth and fell asleep.
***
He woke with his nose pressed against something warm, arms also nice and toasty where he’d curled them. When he opened his eyes, he realized he was staring at the back of someone’s head. And that his nose had been pressed to a neck. And then he realized that it was Zhou Mi and he was still in Zhou Mi’s bed, and he hadn’t moved out of it after he’d crawled in the night before. And a careful glance upward told him that yes, it was morning. He hadn’t passed out that hard in ages. Maybe the night at Satin had taken more out of him than he’d thought.
Still. As close as he was, he found it hard not to let the tip of his nose drift into the soft hair right in front of him. It was a soft scent, not floral or citrus, just a tiny bit sweet. But whatever it was, he liked it. In fact, if he were truthful, he might even say that it turned him on. Just a little. A very little.
If there was such a thing as a small turn on.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four
***
Kyuhyun wondered if there was some ritual for the first day that someone dressed up like a woman. Was there something he was supposed to do that he just wasn’t aware of? Probably not. But he still couldn’t help but wonder. He stared up at the sky as though paying attention to the weather was going to help him in some way through the night.
Zhou Mi promised to ease him into it, packing him into the car with an air of calm like he was sending his child off to his first day of school. His shoulders felt about up to his ears with tension, and his stomach, despite Zhou Mi’s carefully prepared meal, was grumbling. He put on some kind of music for the drive, not caring he was messing with Zhou Mi’s radio. He just needed something to distract himself. Something that wasn’t cutesy little girl pop songs or sobbing violins. Or whatever was on cd three that was no language he’d ever heard.
Zhou Mi grabbed his hand on its way back to his lap from the radio, and his head nearly shot through the roof.
“Don’t worry, okay? You can stay with me tonight, so it’ll be fine.”
“S-sure,” he stuttered and figured his idiot response didn’t make Zhou Mi feel any better about the situation.
If people at the club had been curious before, having him show up with Zhou Mi a second time definitely encouraged it. He got introduced to no less than ten men in various stages of makeup and clothing, one in little more than a slip on the way to put on the dress he was holding. It was like staring into a circus mirror, and he wasn’t sure which direction was up. Lots of male voices and male laughter and male humor, and a lot of silk and skirts. Zhou Mi worked on himself first, at the makeup tables, brightly lit, long mirrors, with a little case he’d pulled from his locker. Kyuhyun got chatted up by a couple of the friendlier ones. He figured Zhou Mi would help if he needed it. It wasn’t like being asked where Zhou Mi had found him was scary or anything. He was probably checking them out as much as they were him. Some of them were kind of cute.
They were shooed away as Zhou Mi got him into a chair, hmming as he turned Kyuhyun’s face back and forth. He got a full look at Zhou Mi’s makeup then, gloss barely pinker than his lips and sort of understated and pretty. And he was was impressed despite himself, at least until Zhou Mi started talking.
“Your face is set up in a masculine way, but your features aren’t as pronounced as mine. So, really, you’ll have an even easier time.”
He blinked. “What are you saying? I have feminine features?”
“No,” Zhou Mi laughed. “But you could be given the illusion of them.”
“Wonderful.”
“AI can do something simple for you tonight. A little mascara, and…”
Zhou Mi’s makeup was effortless, no harsh areas of color, no garish lines. Everything that was there did what Zhou Mi had said, softened his face slightly. Zhou Mi made it sound so innocuous, as he poked and teased. Just a little makeup, Kui Xian.
“Fine,” he agreed, begrudging. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known it was coming.
And he nearly got a pair of clapped hands in response.
“I don’t usually do this for others,” Zhou Mi said. “So forgive me if I’m a little slow.”
It wasn’t as though he’d ever had mascara and blush and lipstick put on. Or the fake eyelashes Zhou Mi had bullied him to stay still for. He’d asked if those were strictly necessary, and Zhou Mi had all but slapped his hand.
“Yes. It’s just another layer of femininity. Men don’t have eyelashes like these.”
“Women don’t have eyelashes like these,” he said, and tested the weight of them.
And then Zhou Mi had brought out the wig, and he had almost balked. The soft, dark brown waves, the length of it, was not something he’d have considered for himself. But Zhou Mi had not taken no for an answer, pinning back what hair he wanted out of the way, and sliding the cap of the wig firmly into place.
“What?” he asked, as Zhou Mi sighed. “What’s wrong?”
“I really hate myself sometimes,” Zhou Mi said. “But this is… You’re perfect.”
“Was I rotten fish before? Can I see?”
“You can see.”
Strangely, his eyes went to Zhou Mi in the mirror first, the tilted head, the parted mouth. And then wondered who the heck it was beside him. No, he still didn’t look at himself and see “woman.” But if he’d seen a picture, he wouldn’t have immediately recognized himself either. But no, when his hand moved, so did the one in the mirror. Oh. He had no idea what he was doing at all.
“It’s weird. It’s like I’m not even myself any more,” he said, and tilted his chin.
Zhou Mi turned him quite gently, warm fingers against his blush-enhanced cheeks. “For a lot of us, it’s just what is on the outside. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you act, it’s still you. You’re no different than an actor in a film, who has to go back to being himself when the cameras are off. The illusion is only what you make of it,” Zhou Mi said, and let Kyuhyun’s face go.
He wondered if he imagined the regret in that, or if what he felt was his own.
Zhou Mi led him to a room partitioned into multiple closets, all but bursting with shoes and clothes. Unapologetically he closed and locked one of them with the excuse that it was Kyuhyun’s first day. Kyuhyun didn’t mind that at all.
“You don’t have gigantic feet, so that will make it easier,” Zhou Mi said, considering him. “But you have nice legs, so we’ll put you in pants for today.”
No one wanted hairy legs and a skirt, he supposed. Even if “skirt” made him a little flippy in his stomach. There was also a small forest of bras and corresponding breast forms. It was like someone had deconstructed several women’s closets and bodies, which was kind of creepy if someone bothered to ask him.
Oh. He. Was going to have breasts? Fake ones! He assured himself. Very fake. Jiggly and fake. With Kyuhyun’s waist measurement, Zhou Mi went humming into the abyss, emerging with a couple pairs of pants that he held up. One was kind of a skinny jean with sparkles on the back pocket, and the other slacks. Zhou Mi opted for the jeans.
“Put these on,” Zhou Mi ordered, turning for the shirts. He knew they were alone in the room, but he still kind of turned away to drop his own pants and shimmy into the jeans. Length-wise, they fit pretty well. Maybe the tiniest bit tight at the waist, but nothing that would impair him or anything. He stared down at his plain white socks through the tips of his wig and wondered again what he was getting himself into.
“Shirt,” Zhou Mi instructed, and Kyuhyun realized that he was being told to take his off. Which he did. Very carefully. Zhou Mi nodded, cool fingers pressing against the skin of his chest. He was glad he’d liberally applied the deodorant, or he’d have been a sloppy, stinky mess. Even so, he could tell he was a little sweaty. Bras were kind of unfamiliar contraptions to him. He hadn’t put one on before, that was for sure. He hadn’t even taken one off someone else, so he was really in a pickle. But Zhou Mi slid the simple nude-colored tangle of straps and cups around him, fixing it firmly and drawing the straps up Kyuhyun’s suddenly ungainly arms. He stared at the ceiling for strength. When everything was adjusted to Zhou Mi’s satisfaction, the slightly squishy skin-toned confections that were going to fill out the bra were tucked in. They weren’t heavy, really. Just sort of…there.
“Hey!” Zhou Mi said as Kyuhyun lifted his hands to grope his own chest.
“What?” he yelped, freezing. What had he done wrong?
“Breathe, Kui Xian. I’m just teasing you. You can touch them.”
“You could kill someone like that!” he barked, slapping Zhou Mi’s arm a bit harder than he’d intended. Zhou Mi just kind of giggled and went back to dragging a shirt off of a hanger. Strangely, he did feel kind of better. Maybe it was the twin stress balls he was squeezing on his chest though.
Obediently, his arms went up as the shirt slid down. It was a glittering shade of green, dark. Not sequined, but shot through with some kind of sparkle. The sleeves, kind of soft and flowing, fell a little past his elbow. The rest was gathered at his waist with the attached belt. And then he noticed the v-neck.
“I have cleavage,” he said flatly. And then barely held himself in as the urge hit to howl with laughter. He had woken up in Wonderland. There just wasn’t any other explanation. Zhou Mi sort of patted at him and started handing him shoes to try on.
They settled on a pair of ankle boots with low heels, wider, Zhou Mi explained, for stability. And then, only then, did he see the full picture. Standing in front of the full-length mirror with a dopey gaping expression on his face. Where he expected some slouching post-college punk, he saw a girlish looking thing with long hair and just-too-wide shoulders. Long legs, skinny feet, and the illusion of a waist from the belted shirt. Even his “breasts” looked pretty good. Though he kind of wiggled his shoulders to see if anything would pop out.
“You’re sure no one’s going to see something?” he asked, staring down into his cleavage.
“Not unless you let someone get that far into your shirt,” Zhou Mi said, laughing a bit.
Of course, when he got back to doing something that wasn’t gawking at his own, unfamiliar body, he realized Zhou Mi was dressing right behind him. Which meant he got a glimpse, and how could anyone’s legs be that long, of pale skin as a skirt was being pulled on over some kind of hosiery. Over, and up. And up. On any normal sized person, the skirt was probably more decently long. On Zhou Mi, it was a few inches away from being a bit miniature.
“You shave your legs?” he asked idly, staring at Zhou Mi’s calves. He ignored the part of him that was a bit grumpy that they looked little thicker than his upper arms.
“Mmhmm,” Zhou Mi said, slipping his shirt off. “Most everyone shaves their legs if they’re in dresses or skirts. Some wax, but I have a pretty strict no-pain policy. It’s pretty easy to keep up if you maintain it. And you don’t have to every day. If you wear something on your legs, tights or leggings or pants, then you can get away with going a few days in between. It’s all about planning.”
Great. Planning when to shave his legs. That wouldn’t make him look like that in a skirt, though.
Of course, if he thought that was it, he was mistaken. Zhou Mi hemmed and hawed and got a necklace around Kyuhyun’s neck and a couple of bangle bracelets on one wrist.
“I don’t really have time to do anything about your nails, but they’re not ragged or anything, so you should be fine.”
Zhou Mi was poking earrings into his own ears, but didn’t seem to think Kyuhyun required any. Which was fine. He liked his earlobes just as they were. Zhou Mi wore boots too, taller ones, but also with short heels. He’d be some kind of epic giant in five inch heels, Kyuhyun thought with amusement. And the grin Zhou Mi gave him let him know that he knew just exactly what Kyuhyun was thinking. With the subtile makeup and the almost-slipping-off-one-shoulder white shirt, it gave Zhou Mi an almost virginal look. At least until he got to the skirt, anyway. He tore his eyes away from Zhou Mi’s collar bone and the unfamiliar hint of bosom. Of course, even so, with his hands and face, he still looked like a man.
“You don’t look entirely like a girl,” he mused, and then sort of cursed himself that he’d said it out loud.
Zhou Mi cocked his head, making his earrings swing, grin flashing. “That’s actually a compliment,” he said. “I’d get teased growing up, so hearing that I look manly enough is a good thing!”
Definitely manly enough. It even kept his knees from knocking, and forgetting how he was dressed. He resisted the urge to pat his crotch as he followed Zhou Mi out, just to let his brain know that yes, everything was as it should be.
They’d been over about a hundred do’s and don’t’s but Zhou Mi seemed to have left one thing in particular for last.
“Just a few things before we go out,” Zhou Mi said, settling Kyuhyun in a chair and sitting next to him. “You just never talk about sex to the men, ever. If you find one who wants to talk about what they want to do to you, it’s fine to let them ramble for a little while. Get them a drink, let them indulge, but don’t banter back. Most times they’ll get the idea and change the topic. But if they try to start pressing you about doing those things, just say “I have to decline.” And turn the conversation to something else, their job or something you’ve discussed before.”
“What if sex is all they discussed before?”
“Then ask what movies they enjoy or if they enjoy long walks in nature, or something to move the conversation along.”
“They’ll just twist that back to sex,” Kyuhyun said sagely. He wasn’t a man for nothing.
“Maybe,” Zhou Mi agreed. “And you can always play them a song, or sing, or something that keeps them from talking. It’s pretty rare that someone is like that, though. Most customers know how it should be. I’m not going to leave you alone tonight, so you don’t have to worry, but I just wanted to kind of point that out.”
“Okay.”
Dressed like this, he was going to go out there and be what? A questionably attractive companion. Or maybe just a friendly ear. He was just a man, who was dressed out of the norm, for himself at least. It was inevitable that his horizons were going to expand, and what better way than to plunge into it himself.
“Come on,” Zhou Mi said, the door opening to allow some of the others to pass.
It didn’t look like the strip clubs he’d seen in movies, all dark with mood light lighting and pounding bass. It wasn’t brightly lit, but it was kind of like a high end restaurant, only there was no clink of silver on china to accompany the low conversation and music. There were comfortable seats gathered, some in twos or threes. There was even a small settee set up in front of a television, and small banquettes of seats facing each other along the perimeter.
“There are very few times we talk with someone very long in one night, or even in a week,” Zhou Mi said, guiding him with cool fingers threaded through his. “Maybe we are an illusion, but a very temporary one. The last thing we want is someone getting jealous and angry and falling in love.”
“In what order?” he asked.
Zhou Mi just smiled and tugged him along. “May we sit with you a while?” he asked a man who had just been served a drink.
The man’s eyes slid from Zhou Mi, very tall and proper, to him, hanging back a bit like a recalcitrant puppy at the end of Zhou Mi’s leash. How did women do this? He felt like he was panting and his new fake chest was heaving around like a ship on a rolling wave. Secure, but still so out there. They were invited to sit, and Kyuhyun felt like the prize bull on display as Zhou Mi chatted, trying not to slouch or twist his fingers into complicated knots in his lap.
He couldn’t help but glance at Zhou Mi, at the damn dangling earrings. He couldn’t say those thrilled him. He liked the studs, for some reason more, had imagined once nipping the earlobe around them. Not that he’d every admit that out loud, seeing as he’d barely admitted it to himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t know he was attracted to guys, but Zhou Mi just wasn’t his type. Except in all the ways that he was.
It wasn’t until the second man that they sat down with that Zhou Mi urged him to speak, a hand distractingly as support on Kyuhyun’s lower back. They talked about the city, traffic. The man lamenting about his job and the subway. And after Kyuhyun got over the first few moments of panic, he realized it wasn’t as though he needed to talk about molecular biology with anyone. They were just ordinary men. So he sympathized with the guy as much as he could, and got a glowing amount of praise from Zhou Mi as they walked away.
He stared at the clock on the wall. Quite some time left. But, at least Zhou Mi was with him.
***
When they got home, in their regular clothes and sans any sort of makeup or adornment, he sent Zhou Mi ahead to shower first. Even if there were two rooms, there was only the one bathroom, so he just fiddled around on the internet until he heard the door open and saw Zhou Mi come out. It was a little hazy on the mirror because Zhou Mi had a love of hot showers. The little pots and bottles that Zhou Mi collected were on their little stand, and the ones that Zhou Mi had suggested for him in their own little area. An endless supply of body lotion, razors, and shaving cream. If he thought about it, it was kind of weird how much stuff they shared. The soap in the shower, cosmetics…. It wasn’t like they shared a toothbrush or anything. But it was still a little odd. It was like they were dating, only without the relationship and sex benefits. And considering that option made him squirm inside, too.
“Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi called out when he’d barely made it out of the bathroom. “Can you come in here?”
The bed was kind of adorably rumpled, and Zhou Mi adorably rumpled in it. And he’d opened a spot beside himself that he was patting and inviting Kyuhyun onto, holding open the covers so Kyuhyun could keep his feet warm. When the blanket dropped, it was like they were in a little cocoon, whether they were closed in fully or not.
“What’s up?” he asked, when Zhou Mi didn’t say something right away. Crawling into someone else’s bed wasn’t exactly something he did on a daily basis. Though, compared to his pallet on the floor, Zhou Mi’s cushy mattress and the warmth of the blankets was something he could get real used to, real fast.
“I just wanted to ask you about tonight, what you were thinking. I didn’t want to ask you there, and maybe I should wait until you have a chance to think about it, but… Yeah.”
Zhou Mi sounded so earnest about it. As though he expected that Kyuhyun would be utterly disgruntled and traumatized. Part of the reason he wasn’t was the fact that he had been with Zhou Mi. It wasn’t like he could say what he’d run into the next time or the time after that. He wasn’t interested in any of the men they’d talked to tonight, and the men had seemed to know not to press him too much. The one he’d sung for, he’d had a hard time not looking at Zhou Mi while he was doing it. Even when Zhou Mi had pulled him aside right after to tell him how much he’d enjoyed it.
And Zhou Mi had insisted on splitting his wage and tips with Kyuhyun, and even when they’d agreed on a percentage that had netted him a couple hundred dollars. He swallowed hard when he pictured the money. It had all gone back to Zhou Mi, of course, the first part of his rent payment. At that rate, he’d only have to work two or three nights a week to make his rent and have money left over. If he could just save some up, he could start looking for a different job. He didn’t think it was something he could do forever. It just wasn’t in his personality. But now, while he had little option, he thought he might be able to. No one was in his face trying to tell him that he had to change his personality.
“I think it went okay, today. I mean, it’d be different if it was just me by myself, but…”
“But I’d always be there,” Zhou Mi assured him. “Even if I wasn’t sitting with you, if you had questions, you could always come to me, or to someone else, really. Everyone was starting out once.”
“Yeah, but some of you aren’t quite as awkward…”
“But that’s what makes us unique. No one wants a bunch of carbon copies running around. Every person in there is different in some way.”
“Mmhmm,” he murmured, digging his knuckles into the side of his head to keep from wanting to drift into sleep. “It’s kind of like being stuck with a chatty person on a plane. You show them some attention, and hope they get involved with sleeping or reading after a while. Only this time, you get to stand up and leave after a while, or after they leave.”
“That’s one way to look at it,” Zhou Mi agreed. “I’m glad. I didn’t want today to be hard for you in any way. It’s not something that’s for everyone, but I didn’t want you to think badly of it.”
If he had thought about it in a bad light, maybe he’d have thought about Zhou Mi the same way. Yeah, he could see what Zhou Mi was getting at. But he thought he had a pretty open mind. A lot of it he just didn’t know much about.
“As long as it doesn’t bother you for me to be there. I don’t want to add a burden on you in addition to this.”
“Thanks for thinking of me, Kui Xian. But you’re not a burden. It was fun to help you get ready today. I don’t really have a…friend there, so to have someone to talk with about it is… It’s nice.”
“Good.”
“And you really did look good today. I’ll help you next time. You’ll just be stunning.”
He chuckled into the pillow, swearing he was going to move at any second. Seriously, any second.
He registered Zhou Mi softly saying, “Sleep well, Kui Xian,” and the blanket being tucked up at his shoulder. And he gave in to the warmth and fell asleep.
***
He woke with his nose pressed against something warm, arms also nice and toasty where he’d curled them. When he opened his eyes, he realized he was staring at the back of someone’s head. And that his nose had been pressed to a neck. And then he realized that it was Zhou Mi and he was still in Zhou Mi’s bed, and he hadn’t moved out of it after he’d crawled in the night before. And a careful glance upward told him that yes, it was morning. He hadn’t passed out that hard in ages. Maybe the night at Satin had taken more out of him than he’d thought.
Still. As close as he was, he found it hard not to let the tip of his nose drift into the soft hair right in front of him. It was a soft scent, not floral or citrus, just a tiny bit sweet. But whatever it was, he liked it. In fact, if he were truthful, he might even say that it turned him on. Just a little. A very little.
If there was such a thing as a small turn on.
***
